It is completely dark here in my life. No light no joy no happiness. Where did my parents hide that candle from me. A needle in a haystack. I am washed in evil. I can't write just my hurting soul pressing the keys. Nobody wants to really express these things around me but only here where I can only express them. I hear everyone here loud and clear and I cry for all of us esp my evil self. I don't want to hear that everything is going to be alright. That is to much. I'm hurting now and there is more to come. But I can't blame them because I was also like that until Divine Love show me where I stood. Not in ecstasy but fear and pain. It said feel good but the pain is going to build until you Wesley adress it. What a heart ache to deal with. My own huge cave told me to enter at my own risk. I went in.
Your writing over time Wes gives me the feeling of you going into your cave, down deeper and deeper into your darkness - it’s very moving, all feeling. “I am washed in evil” - that conjures up a powerful image for me expressing the extend of the horror we’re all in.
Uncover the truth through your feelings, and you're FREE!
I except that I am evil and dark. I long for the Truth of it. My parents control my whole life into fear. That what was created for me is deep in problems. To see my way out to run into more issues with myself. The Soul must be that confident place that our Mother and Father created for us to turn to when our whole life turns into mere crap. The daily grind of nothingness. It seems that our heavenly parents are so pure that to be one with them we have to work twofold. Healing our evil then soul transformation with their love. Mission impossible to my mind but not my soul. So my soul sits and wait until I myself will heal it. God seems to be so elusive like trying to catch a butterfly with your finger. And the world that they created being so full of danger that being happy and nieve leads you straight to the lions den. Being groomed from birth to become our evil parents who to this day overpowers you. So let me deal with all of these issues day in and day out. And just see if I can heal myself. What a story to be told later in spirit because the trial was of fire. Not able to touch on Love at all. Yet I feel parts of me Healing. Isn't that something. But the core of me is not easy at all. I lived a grievous life. It's like scales that keeps reminding me to keep pealing back the layers and more will be needed to be done. Yet still I am healing. I feel it. Some parts of my soul is showing up. I wonder what it is. But I can't be confident at all because it ain't over. Seems like forever to get to where I want to be. And how does this makes me feel? Like prey for the predators.
Being incarnated in the prison world of rebillion and default. Our parents being the warden. Teaching us to deny everything about oneself for years on in. As the disease spreads to every part of our lives. Making us think joining organizations to reveal to us the right path but it being all wrong. These vipers still treat you as if you are still 5years old. They are always ready to strike the moment you step out of line. Never be true to oneself or their fury will be on you. Just wake up in the morning and you can feel it. Bad feelings moving through you keeping you. Can't adjust to the day. Why do these predators haunt you day and night. Shutting down your feelings until your only a robot. Yes sir yes mam I'll do what you say. Then I am an obedient child and God will bless and love me because I honored them. Then where was those blessings. I seen no such thing. Powerful predators bullying small delicate little souls. Take your power and kill us. Destroy us children with your evil deeds. Because I am dead and you indeed done your job well. Now I am left with the incredible part of healing myself. I guess I can't ask the enemy to heal my wounds since you are the ones who created them. Let the greater of you serve the lesser. Remember that quote. And still the parents of this world attack the very soul nature of their children.