Sam can you tell me, these women you speak to, what part of it all do you find you talk with them about the most? And when you say you want to help people, can you tell me more about that… such as, in what capacity - do you have any idea; what do you feel like you'd like to do? Do you have dreams and wishes about helping people, or are you just taking it as it comes with a general longing to be of help in whatever way you can?
Uncover the truth through your feelings, and you're FREE!
I have had some time out doing some deep healing, it has been non stop for me and I have just dedicated my self to my healing over the past week but I am back.
When I speak with people it is always about fears and problems they are stuck on and I always bring it back to their feelings and finding their answers through their feelings, I use my own journey as examples of how to do it. It is always bringing them back to the core of their feelings, showing them how to bring it away from the intellect and to use their feelings to reveal the answers they want. I am getting people coming back to me and they want to know more and more about how to do it and I talk them through it just by encouraging them to have a desire to explore the truth of their feelings and they will discover the origins of their pain and it will make them feel like a child as they realise that is where it all began. When I have this desire to find the truth of my feelings I always know when I am getting to the core of the feeling because I begin to feel like a child, it is a great indicator that I am getting close and I have such a desire and passion to be so humble to all my feelings, to have that desire is my driving force to get me there. Every time I have a new revelation and I release an emotion I feel so elated and want to tell the world of the incredible feeling you receive once an injury has left me, I want others to feel this miracle too and how great I feel about myself for releasing the pain and doing it all myself, through my feelings. I don't quite know in what capacity I want to help others but when I talk to people about my healing or they ask me what I am writing I tell them it is my healing, I write about all I feel and they are intrigued and they will tell me of their feelings and I help them deconstruct errors in their beliefs that have given them those feelings and we work it all the way back and they have an awakening in that moment and I feel it to. For example a woman comes in every Tuesday and she talks to me , then breaks off to chat to spirit and tells me how annoying they are and nosey and so interfering in her life, she said they are all pests and her spirit friends are very rude and bad mannered to keep butting in. She asked me why did I think she get plagued with such annoying spirits and I told her she will only attract spirits according to her soul condition, they are actually telling her so much about herself and that she had a great addiction to them and they knew it too. I told her that if she wanted to get rid of them she would have to begin her soul healing so they would no longer be interested in her but she is not willing to do that. I asked her how it would feel not to have them around any more and she said she would feel to alone without them, and I asked her how being alone without them would make her feel and she said, Abandoned, and I asked her how would abandonment feel, she said she would be in isolation with no one interested in her or bothering about her, totally unloved. so I asked her if she used her spirit friends as a distraction from feeling all this pain and she had never thought if it like that, ever, but she said it was true and the thought of losing them would be the worst thing to happen, and I asked her how that would feel if they all went tomorrow and she had no one with her, she just looked at me and said if the left her she would be Nothing, life would be Nothing and I would have no one and then I asked her what is the truth about how she feels about herself, and she started to sob uncontrollably and shake with fear and she said she feels she is Nothing, she felt since she was a child like she was nothing and with no love and totally abandoned. So now she understands her addiction to spirit is to stop her feeling the pain of feeling like nothing and being alone and abandoned as a child and so unloved. Her visits were getting a bit much and re telling the same story previous to this chat we had, I have only seen her once since and it was a very brief visit but she understands a little more about her addiction to spirit and is not ready to go any further yet but she is blown away about how she found the answer all through her feelings. I felt the realisation of the truth that she felt "Nothing" had really entered her soul and her humility had allowed her to feel for the answer she needed to know about herself and understanding that her spirits are a reflection of her soul condition and if she would like to begin healing through her feelings then she has the real opportunity to channel spirits that can really help her instead of pester her but it is all her choice and I left it there. I am also helping my sister heal through her feelings at the moment, it can be tricky as she lives in Essendon, Melbourne so we speak on FB live chat and she phones me and has been amazed as she has been going through therapy to help her depression and wen we got talking and I explained about the healing I do she was amazed and we talked for hours both with the same feelings about our childhood so I am now helping her through and she told me she no longer feels she has to feel bad keeping it all a secret because the child in her is scared of getting told off. She told me I have helped her more than a year of therapy has and because I know and she knows what happened we can really get stuck in and do some healing and help each other, I feel I now have a partner to express too which is great. I don't know in what capacity I will be helping others I just know I have a desire and passion to help if |I can and always have, even if it is just happens through the shop, my wish has always been to help people heal and I can remember thinking when I was young, If I ever got through depression without ending it all, I would tell others how I did it.
Thank you again for answering my questions. It's good to hear examples of how you talk to people about it all. I'm still going the other way, having wanted to tell everyone about it, I want to say less and less to the people I meet and have anything to do with. And what a funny thing that your sister lives in Melbourne of all places?
Since being on the Divine Love Path I have found that I no longer want to avoid the pain I have caused to my fellow Brothers and Sisters. I have felt deeply the pain and have had to do all I can to put right the wrongs that have eaten away at me over the years, the compensation I have had to pay for my choices to act against love. The biggest one being the pain I caused a family when I was 21, I had an affair with a married man and it caused all manner of heartache for witch I have, recently especially, felt I can no longer avoid, I had to put things right with this mans wife but this would take considerable courage to do so. I have found myself praying to God for courage to face what I have done and help me please find a way to redeem myself, help me God to meet with her and put this awful pain to rest and ask for her forgiveness if she can show me such mercy, I want to be forgiven by my sister before I can truly be forgiven by myself and God, I want to put it right by her first.
This morning she was prevalent in my mind especially, I knew my time was coming to finally deal with this so I prayed the deepest heart felt prayer to help us meet. I continued with my day and went into town and I knew this would be it, I would see her and God would arrange the meeting I so longed for but was so afraid of. I went into town to do what I needed to day and she was constantly on my mind, around every corner, would I see her, would this be it!! but no, and I was so sure it would be here today. I went into one final shop and as I came out, ready to go home, it happened, I saw her and we passed each other, she went into the shop I came out of, I stopped and said to Trevor, I have to go back in, I have to see someone. I gave him my bags ad went back, my heart was nearly coming out of my mouth with fear, I couldn't see properly and was in the hights of panic, I had to stop just in the doorway and try to compose myself because I was in a state of near passing out with fear and disbelief at my next action, it was all running through my head "What are you doing Sam, what are you going to say, please be with me God, I need you to help me to be true" I took one look back at Trevor, who was perplexed at what was going on, and I did it, I went in and found her and put my trust in God that the right words would be spoken after all of these years. I said, "Hello Barbara, its Sam" The fear was pounding in me at this confrontation, she smiled so softly at me and said with such surprise "Oh Sam, hello how are you" my fear subsided at her softness and I continued to tell her of my deepest regret and sorrow at the pain I caused her and her family and asked if she could find it in her heart to forgive me, she wrapped her arms around me and said she forgave me many years ago, we continued to speak and all I could do was cry and release the pain inside me that had built up as way of compensation for my actions, this woman had every right to express her pain and anger at me but instead I felt her beautiful Mercy, forgiveness and a flow of love was exchanged between us instead of hate and anger, so much was said and as I poured my heart out to her she looked at me so deeply and said "Sam, thank You". We hugged each other once more and with that loving hug things were right at long last, I had done it and the contorted torment I had felt in my spirit and soul was released, I literally felt all of the Barbs and rods that kept me in pain, release off of me. I was Free. I had put it right. It felt amazing and I walked back to Trevor with tears rolling down my face and we walked to the car in silence with the beautiful feeling of God smiling upon me as I had put things right with my fellow sister, one of their children, I could feel the forgiveness that God has always felt for me, but really feel it. I was as light as air and still in disbelief at what miracle had been orchestrated for me. I felt that I had asked and been heard my Mother and father on that day, God is working with me and hearing me and it is so beautiful to have the proof of this, I felt closer to God than I have ever felt, like they were truly with me all the way along, just amazing to be heard and answered.
Last Edit: Apr 21, 2015 13:55:40 GMT 10 by samantha9
What a moving experience Sam. Incredible how it all worked out. And all because you kept honouring your bad feelings, staying true to them and so expecting the worst. Not trying to avoid any of the pain, but accepting it and going with it. Wonderful.
What’s happened since, what other thoughts and feelings have you had about it?
Hi James. I spent all yesterday feeling so different. I spent the whole day immersed in my feelings and felt weird, Like I didn't really know myself and a mix of feeling unsure about myself because of such a huge change has occurred and like the most courageous I have ever felt still in disbelief of what I had done. I have felt real expansion in my soul and it brought a certain fear to me about change, how resistant to change I am and taking a risk like that means change, I have stepped into an unknown part of me, an expanded part of me that is so new and I felt grief as the day went on I was very tearful and still am today because a part of me has gone for ever and I am stepping into a new me that can take risks and can let the full force of terror overwhelm me to break through my fears and take leaps in my growth. I am still so mixed in my feelings, I feel so different like I don't know me and I am somewhat, grieving the loss of a part of the old scared me, there is that part of me, on that particular subject that has gone forever and it was with me for so many years but now I have released it with Gods help. I had a pure desire a let myself feel it before I acted upon it, I needed to feel all the feelings my desire brought to me which was fear, disbelief, Terror, being overwhelmed, but the terror was crippling and I just froze before I confronted her but I allowed myself to feel it all fully before I went to speak to her, I had to be aware of how I felt and how terror has always made me feel, crippled and unable to confront anything but just roll over and submit to the terror, live it and believe it controls me and my life. I have broken that chain in my life and I feel that I can now confront anything in truth as long as I have a pure desire and feel it all fully, then I will be answered as I was this time, God felt my pure heart felt desire to heal my self of this torment in my soul and instantly, it was answered, I feel like I am changed forever, I feel so brave and after I had spoke to her I cried with relief and release but had no one to tell so I spoke to God in gratitude for the support and help in orchestrating this situation. The full might of love was felt and opened me up to now feel this soul expansion that I now feel, it feels bigger but empty somewhat, empty of that huge pain and injury I have carried around with me for so long and am now free of. I feel as the days go on I will have different feelings and last night I felt such a change in my longing for Gods Divine Love, there was room for it to flow and I have been left with such an openness. I just feel so different James and I have learnt so much about myself and Gods love though this experience.
Thank you Sam for writing about it all, it’s good to read what you’re going through. It’s a huge thing, and so good you got what you wanted - the forgiveness. What a huge relief, it must be a huge weight off your chest, such a horrible burden to have had to carry around all these years.
And for me personally on the DLS level it’s a very bid deal as neither Marion nor I have had to do such a thing in our healing as we didn’t really hurt anyone to such an extent as needing to go to the person saying sorry and asking for their forgiveness. And I know people go through such things who aren’t doing their healing, and such experiences are major happenings for them too, but you doing this in the context of it being part of your healing and wanting to be true - Wow! It’s a pity they didn’t give such examples in the Padgett Messages as that sure would have put a different slant on the whole compensation and forgiveness thing.
And I wonder Sam, do you have any idea how you might of felt had she just yelled at you and told you to fuck off showing she still hated you?
The part in all you’ve said that makes me feel bad - more for me to work on - is that you didn’t have anyone to talk about all you felt too. I wish you did, I wish I was there, and possibly Marion too, but then again... it is how it’s meant to be for you, and I think there is more in these feelings for me to understand about, something more about you doing it on your own and the significance of that. Anyway I’ll ask Mary about it later after I’ve talked it over with Marion tomorrow (she’s in bed now).
And please write more about how you feel over the coming days, I’m interested to see what other feelings and thoughts you have following on from it.
I have been reflecting on the terror I felt during my experience and speaking my truth, the same terror I have always felt when having to be truthful in fear of hurting others or being hurt myself through speaking truth, the lie has always softened the blow and felt so much easier but so evil and such denial. In this case the terror over took me to the point of not being able to see, my vision went fuzzy and I was close to blacking out, I couldn't even speak but I stoped outside the shop just to ride the wave of terror and feel it fully, I have felt this before when being asked to speak the truth, so truth scares me, confrontation scares me and truth means I will be hurt and be in trouble and be so unloved as when I was a child if I told the truth I would get in trouble anyway so the lie was safer for me, God its all so awful to be so scared of telling the truth but that is no longer the way for me and the truth is what I want to confront now and it makes me scared but feels the only thing to do, the only thing I want to do.
My terror was because of the fear of what This woman may do to me when I tell her of my sorrow and deep regret for the pain I had caused, I expected her to respond in such a way of never forgiving me even some physical act that would hurt me because I experienced physical and emotional pain as a child when I told the truth and this was all coming up in me in that moment but I had to take the experience as it came and if that meant forgiveness and physical pain then I was prepared to feel it, but terrified. I just had to tell her how I felt and to say how sorry I was and to redeem myself. The truth of the situation is she did forgive me, fully and I even felt love from her and I experienced so many of Gods laws and qualities in action, I experienced them for myself and I could see how the feel and work, mercy, redemption, compensation, justice, forgiveness, truth, love and so on, I experienced how they all worked and felt for myself in action.
As I walked away from the scene I had tears rolling down my face and Trevor and myself said nothing, he asked me nothing about what had happened and what it was all about and I felt pain and very alone with what I had just been through. I haven't asked him why he hasn't asked me about it because I feel he just doesn't want to know or he would have asked me. There was no compassion for me just a continuation of going back to the car and carrying on, I felt totally denied, again. Alone with no one to share it with, I may be wrong because I haven't asked him, he may be waiting for me to bring it up with him but my feelings told me that if he didn't ask how I felt then he didn't want to know. It all just brought to me how much I want to be rewarded when I do something right and how I feel when I get no reward or congratulations, or well done Sam, How I want approval for what I have done and how I feel when I don't get it, which is very unloved, uncared about, alone and full of grief at having been denied with no recognition, I wanted his attention so I could express the pain and fear of the situation but I might have well been on my own and I didn't want to force my feelings on him if he didn't want to know, it all just bringing to me how unloved I have felt, how denied I have felt and how repressed I have felt and alone with my feelings, no one really being interested making me feel bad when I do express my feelings, like its a bad thing, no one wants to know about how pathetic I am. I also feel that when we confront truth it is very confronting for others and can repel them away from us because they don't want to confront there own denial and putting myself in that situation may have been totally uncomprehendable to an outsider as to why I would put myself through that pain when it could all just carry on being denied, not stirred up, to an outsider that would all appear to be a mad thing to do but to deny it would have been more painful and untrue to me, I would have just been waiting for the next time I saw her which may be another 20 years, it is the most freeing action I have ever taken in my life, the truth really does set you free and I am working on all this so I don't have to take it with me, so I can become closer to God so doing it now this side of life.
This whole experience is unfolding more feelings every day and I am expressing them to my Mother and Father and they are helping me to understand the truth of my childhood pain through every feeling. So much is coming up I can hardly keep up with it all but all so incredible as I am learning so much more about my need to have been so deceitful and cause so much pain to others, Mother and Father want me to know this and they are helping me constantly work through it all, there is so much to the whole situation, to see how Gods love works in my life to bring all of my unloving untruth out of me, it is all amazing.
Last Edit: Apr 23, 2015 18:13:39 GMT 10 by samantha9
Marion is very sensitive to and so aware of when I don’t give her the attention, respect, sympathy and love she needs. She feels utterly alone, unwanted, rejected like you Sam, as we all do when we feel unloved. On my side, I’m insensitive and mostly unaware of these feelings. I’ve been seeing more lately - in fact it’s all my healing is now focused on - how I am still just an extension of mum, and how I then be as she is, making everyone an extension of myself projecting how I am onto them and getting angry with them when they are not like me.
I’ve been seeing more clearly how as parents one sees the child as an extension of oneself, so if the child isn’t as oneself is or wants to be, then the parent interferes trying to make it be. So in a way it’s sort of like a clone of the parent.
Then as the child grows up it has to fight the parent for its independence as it wants to assert its individuality, and mostly I think parents give over allowing it to more or less have its way.
But with me I wasn’t allowed to fight or assert and so have remained mum’s extension in many ways still carry out her orders and desires as to how I should be - all that pleased her. And so I am not a separate person to Marion, it’s weird but I’m sort of an extension of her, or that’s how I unconsciously see myself, she being mum, with myself not being on my side and separately expressing my feelings, instead sort of trying to express hers or allowing and even wanting her to express mine for me.
But she confronts me every time I do or say something that makes her feel unloved and bad, as that’s what we’ve agreed to do, it’s what I want her to do as I’m not aware I am doing such things. And it’s taken me a long time to see the truth of my unloving behaviour.
I don’t think what I’ve written Sam is relevant to what you’ve written and are going through, it’s somewhat ‘off topic’ as they say, however it’s what I wanted to write tonight.
Thank you again for what you have written, it does all help me with my bigger picture and on the personal level. And I love your devotion and commitment to yourself and the Mother and Father.
Uncover the truth through your feelings, and you're FREE!
I think its all relevant, I understand it all as I was being an extension of my Dad, doing just as he had taught me, to have affairs just like he did. I am a product of their programming but have decided to break the chain on it all and its so tough. Today I have been suffering with a weariness and pain over my whole body and a feeling like I just need to sleep and recuperate, I am finding I get this when I have done major healing, my body goes into a need for sleep, I thought at first am I needing to sleep just to deny more feelings, or because I am exhausted, or as a reward I can have peaceful sleep and today I have been so weak and in so much pain hardly being able to lift myself and I felt I am now feeling how bad I made that poor woman feel, weak and powerless and in pain which was the truth of how bad I was feeling to and have always felt from childhood, I am fully feeling everything I did to her and I thought that once I had set things straight with her I would feel better, well, I do in a way and I am so glad I have confronted her but now I feel I am feeling the pain she felt because it was my pain too. Its all coming up and all I can do is just accept and express to find the truth of how I feel. There are penalties to be paid in everything we do in hurting ourselves and others and if not done or at least begun now it will one day have to be done in spirit, I wonder if people know the compensation we all have to pay for our actions and the condition of our soul determines where we go to in spirit, they would think again about crime and the deeds we do to others and ourselves, If they truly knew about the different spheres and what determines where we go it would make us act differently, more loving. Like Nero in the PM who entered the Hells and was in awful torment, darkness and pain but found the way to the higher levels all because of his dark soul condition determined his perfect prepared home in spirit, reaping what we sow. It would be great to think that one day this knowledge could make us be more loving and healing any feelings of evil when they occur to ensure our entry into a better sphere in spirit, I can see it, a long time off but I feel it very strongly that it will happen and there will be no need for Law enforcement and systems of control because we will each be responsible for our own soul condition and feeling healing by understanding Gods Laws in action every moment of our lives working to bring us back into harmony with Love. I wont go on but when I start talking of this I get very excited at the enormity of it all, amazing. Speak soon James.
Last Edit: Apr 25, 2015 5:58:50 GMT 10 by samantha9
I’m glad you’re feeling wrung out Sam and feeling all the bad feelings of everything you did to her as you say. That all makes sense as it’s what Marion and I have experienced after such significant breakthroughs. You’ve cleared away the block by speaking with her, having worked your way up through lesser blocks and barriers, and now you’re letting yourself feel the whole truth of it. And it is all so exhausting, because you’re dealing with the deepest aspects of yourself, and changing them, so there’s a huge amount of adjustment going on all levels, and particularly on the will and psychic levels, those being the hardest to be aware of. And so you need time to integrate it all, which is very hard whilst still having to carry on a normal life with all its usual demands. And as it seems from all you’ve said about your healing, as it has been for Marion and myself, you hardly get time to scratch yourself, let alone comprehend all you’ve been through, before you’re suddenly plunged into the next round of bad feelings.
And it’s not that the knowledge of reaping what we sow and all the pain we need to compensate for that will change humanity, but people doing as you are doing: being prepared to face it, fully acknowledge it, go with and into it as far as they can go, expressing all they feel and wanting to know every bit of truth to do with it - that is how people will change. Knowing, as you suggest, might make some people decide to do their healing, but until the hard work is done it’s so very difficult to change, particularly as every part of us is resistant to it. We don’t want to change because it requires some level of pain, because it was painful our parents making us change ourselves into our untrue selves.
And yes, I can see that one day there will be no need for any authority policing anyone, people will be as the spirits are in the Celestial spheres, all abiding by the truth of their souls and so all living true. However we’re not going to see that on Earth in our time; we might if we’re lucky see it in our own lives if we can heal all our yuk and become true. And a few more spiritual ages will have to pass before humanity is in a position to live such truth with enough people having done their healing or being born to parents who are perfect and of a Celestial truth having done their healing. The long term plan if for humanity to live as Celestials on Earth, however I’m not holding my breath waiting for it.
Uncover the truth through your feelings, and you're FREE!
I wrote this as a comment to a Before It's News article. It will get lost in the volume of BIN articles and I liked writing the prayers, so I'll post it here:
Pray it away, do what you've always done. Deny and dismiss those bad feelings, keep burying them, and keep wondering why the bad things keep happening. And on and on it goes; let's all hold hands and maybe God will be nice to us and answer our prayer. It's God that is making you feel bad! So why not ask Him why? Why not ask Him to show you through your very own bad feelings instead of trying to deny them.
Pray to your Heavenly Father: Please dear Father of mine, dear Father of my soul, I am feeling bad about...; could You please show me through my feelings why I am feeling bad - I want to uncover the truth of such feelings so I can see more about how I truly am. I really want to know. Please help me Father; please help me to live true to my feelings so I can live true to my soul.
A prayer: Father, I feel very bad, I feel scared, miserable, I don't understand what's going on. Please help me to uncover the truth of myself through my feelings, the truth You want me to see. I want to know myself - my whole self; I want to know where I am going wrong, why I don't feel good, why I can't be with You in love, why things don't seem to be working out right. Please Father I am longing for the Truth of myself, I will look to my feelings by going with them, fully allowing myself to feel them, so will please help to see through my feelings what they are all about - why I'm feeling them.
My Heavenly Father I love You, and I want to feel You loving me - please love me. I long for your Divine Love. Father, I want You to please fill my soul with Your Divine Love. I am asking and longing for Your Love. I will sit here waiting for you to bring the Holy Spirit to me with Your Divine Love so I can feel it coming into my heart and soul. Thank you Father.
Uncover the truth through your feelings, and you're FREE!
Mother and Father, what is the absolute cause of my...
Mother and Father, what is the absolute cause of my disconnection - How did it happen, what was I feeling? Can You please show me how it all came about, and how I felt about it at the time, if indeed it was one specific crowning experience. And if there wasn’t one such major experienced that cemented it all in place, can You please show me how it all evolved. I want to see when, where and how I lost touch with myself, with my true self and true feelings. Please show me the truth of myself through my feelings.
Uncover the truth through your feelings, and you're FREE!