Woman and the Feminine Aug 2, 2014 8:22:07 GMT 10
Post by samantha9 on Aug 2, 2014 8:22:07 GMT 10
I have taken a few days for my feeling about this dream, to turn from how amazing it was, to, But why?? I have been feeling a feeling of pointlessness because, at this time, I am not knowing why I am being shown these things except for the feelings they bring to me and they have also taken me back to a time in my childhood when I had an incredible feeling that I was being watched over and it made me feel so special that something so quiet was with me, at times I would have a feeling that I was meant to be someone special and my dream made me feel that but soon squashed by the feeling that it is all pointless as I don't know why I am having them, this may change as time goes on. To have such an amazing vision and then have it just leave you without reason is so frustrating like many times as a kid when something good would happen, then soon to be squashed by Mum and Dad, the frustration of them killing my good feelings made me feel such an Anger at the confusion of not being able to sustain the good feelings. What is the point of having anything good or feeling any magick to have it taken away by parents that want you to feel as bad as they do, projecting all of their rubbish onto me because their misery needs company. I wasn't allowed to question them or ask for a reason as to why I had to do their will, I would have to stop what ever I was doing, when they told me, and never allowed to ask why ! so I suppose it is the same with the dream and the frustration I have felt with not being able to know why and what is the point, yet more pointless feelings to find the truth of about how pointless I felt as a kid to experience anything good, anything that I wanted to do because at any moment I would have to stop. I have been shown something amazing that I don't understand and the question it brings up is, Why? What has it got to do with me? so I am working on these questions, asking to be shown more and finding the truth of how it all makes me feel which is special one minute, then crushed the next which is crippling for a child and I really can feel that, the confusion of being loved one minute then Unloved the next. I am experiencing a feeling of emptiness and unfulfillment because of the unanswered questions as to the reason for the dreams, this is a very familiar feeling showing me the fear I had in not being able to ask questions, to ask Why! to question my parents, it was never an option. I feel the real high and then the real low of this dream as I want to know more and I know it is for me to find the answers through my feelings and what truth they reveal, so that is where I am going for my answers, it is all within me. I didn't have any bad experiences with nausea or vertigo on waking, it was all so quick a return, it jolted me awake and I sat upright in amazement as to what I had just experienced. My return was a definite improvement.