Ivy, the Tree and Me.
Aug 7, 2017 21:02:34 GMT 10
Post by James on Aug 7, 2017 21:02:34 GMT 10
Hi Sam,
I’m feeling more settled now about my Healing and the long time it’s taking. I understand there’s a lot of subtle things Marion and I are going through, and it just takes time, a lot of time feeling miserable, scared and angry.
Still since I was sick I’m moving deeper into myself, and in some ways feel like I’m now really beginning to come to grips with what did happen to me and how it’s made me into the false person I am.
In talking with the Celestial spirits more about their Healing, they’ve been saying how for a lot of them their Healing is really about liberating their pain and repressed bad feelings whilst introducing them to the truth of themselves, that being, giving them the initial picture with which to work. Then once they are Healed, in that all their bad feelings have come out of them and their truth seen, all they do in their Celestial lives, right the way through Nebadon, helps to increase the awareness and understanding of all they went through on Earth and through the mansion worlds. And that it’s not until they are of a much higher truth and more advanced soul perception, mental and feeling awareness can they see all the intricacies of all that happened to them from conception through their childhood, how it affected them making them into the false and untrue person they were as adults, what they did in their adult lives expressing all they went through, and then what really happened through their Healing.
So I’m gaining more of an understanding that our actual Healing is the first phase of the truth of wrongness coming to light. And that we actually have to be Healed, and so true, to be able to put it all into perspective and see the greater and deeper meaning of it all. So that all keeps unfolding for a long time after we’ve finished our Healing, which stands to reason because coming to understand just how involved it all is, how so much did happen to us through our early life as we were forming, that you’d have to be a far more advanced level to understand it all. I mean, so much happens to Marion and I, and because our minds are not developed enough to grasp the deeper understanding of it, it’s going to take time for us to grow in truth so as to understand and see it all. And looking back over my Healing years I can see how much I have grown in those areas of awareness about myself, and yet still I feel like I’m just starting out.
So it is quite possible that all the pain and suffering might end giving rise to a certain amount of truth, and yet there will always be more truth for us to see about ourselves. And that is a wonderful thing, because to be able to understand it ALL, everything that happened to us and on all levels - wow, the mind boggles at the enormity of it.
So this is helping me feel more resigned to it, doing what I can feeling wise, trying to express as much as I feel, whilst understanding it is so involved and with so much to see about myself, that... that it might take much longer and that doesn’t matter.
And it’s never mattered to Marion, yet for me because everything with mum had to be done yesterday and she got so angry if you were slow or things were boring and tedious, just discarding them without a second thought if they were holding her up, so that’s all I’ve got in me to do with the Healing, just wanting to chuck it and get it over with, so my real and good life, the great one I was promised, would begin. But slowly as I give all that impatience up, I’m even beginning to savour the duration and all the subtleties.
Marion and I are still exploring (for want of a better word) our feeling unloved within ourselves, feeling unloved by each other, feeling unloving - that we can’t love, and feel alone even though we’re living together, so horrible it is being in a relationship and yet you don’t truly love each other. All we can do is express all our bad feelings we feel about that.
And they are really dreadful feelings, feeling alone even though you were with these people for so many years and all of your forming years. That you had nothing of a good and loving relationship with them, that it was all unloving, rejecting and negative. And for myself, not knowing that it was like that, being told it was loving, being so blind and shut off to my feelings so I couldn’t see the truth. To be so shut out from other people, other families, who I might have seen were different to mine. And to not have even given it any thought when I was young, just to grow in in a vacuum that was their doing, then to wake up and turn around to see the harsh reality that it was wrong and I wasn’t loved, is so hard.
I’m feeling more settled now about my Healing and the long time it’s taking. I understand there’s a lot of subtle things Marion and I are going through, and it just takes time, a lot of time feeling miserable, scared and angry.
Still since I was sick I’m moving deeper into myself, and in some ways feel like I’m now really beginning to come to grips with what did happen to me and how it’s made me into the false person I am.
In talking with the Celestial spirits more about their Healing, they’ve been saying how for a lot of them their Healing is really about liberating their pain and repressed bad feelings whilst introducing them to the truth of themselves, that being, giving them the initial picture with which to work. Then once they are Healed, in that all their bad feelings have come out of them and their truth seen, all they do in their Celestial lives, right the way through Nebadon, helps to increase the awareness and understanding of all they went through on Earth and through the mansion worlds. And that it’s not until they are of a much higher truth and more advanced soul perception, mental and feeling awareness can they see all the intricacies of all that happened to them from conception through their childhood, how it affected them making them into the false and untrue person they were as adults, what they did in their adult lives expressing all they went through, and then what really happened through their Healing.
So I’m gaining more of an understanding that our actual Healing is the first phase of the truth of wrongness coming to light. And that we actually have to be Healed, and so true, to be able to put it all into perspective and see the greater and deeper meaning of it all. So that all keeps unfolding for a long time after we’ve finished our Healing, which stands to reason because coming to understand just how involved it all is, how so much did happen to us through our early life as we were forming, that you’d have to be a far more advanced level to understand it all. I mean, so much happens to Marion and I, and because our minds are not developed enough to grasp the deeper understanding of it, it’s going to take time for us to grow in truth so as to understand and see it all. And looking back over my Healing years I can see how much I have grown in those areas of awareness about myself, and yet still I feel like I’m just starting out.
So it is quite possible that all the pain and suffering might end giving rise to a certain amount of truth, and yet there will always be more truth for us to see about ourselves. And that is a wonderful thing, because to be able to understand it ALL, everything that happened to us and on all levels - wow, the mind boggles at the enormity of it.
So this is helping me feel more resigned to it, doing what I can feeling wise, trying to express as much as I feel, whilst understanding it is so involved and with so much to see about myself, that... that it might take much longer and that doesn’t matter.
And it’s never mattered to Marion, yet for me because everything with mum had to be done yesterday and she got so angry if you were slow or things were boring and tedious, just discarding them without a second thought if they were holding her up, so that’s all I’ve got in me to do with the Healing, just wanting to chuck it and get it over with, so my real and good life, the great one I was promised, would begin. But slowly as I give all that impatience up, I’m even beginning to savour the duration and all the subtleties.
Marion and I are still exploring (for want of a better word) our feeling unloved within ourselves, feeling unloved by each other, feeling unloving - that we can’t love, and feel alone even though we’re living together, so horrible it is being in a relationship and yet you don’t truly love each other. All we can do is express all our bad feelings we feel about that.
And they are really dreadful feelings, feeling alone even though you were with these people for so many years and all of your forming years. That you had nothing of a good and loving relationship with them, that it was all unloving, rejecting and negative. And for myself, not knowing that it was like that, being told it was loving, being so blind and shut off to my feelings so I couldn’t see the truth. To be so shut out from other people, other families, who I might have seen were different to mine. And to not have even given it any thought when I was young, just to grow in in a vacuum that was their doing, then to wake up and turn around to see the harsh reality that it was wrong and I wasn’t loved, is so hard.