Post by wesley on Feb 21, 2015 13:49:06 GMT 10
My life began quiet. Then I met my controllers. They imprisoned me and created in me my evil heart. I tried to struggle but it was no use. Told that obey these evil ones and life here on earth would be honored. So I did. Then upon their request I was no more. I saw in myself a beggar who couldn't beg. Just obey. I grew in massive amounts of evil. My smile hid my agenda growing up. So growing up turned into survival the best way I knew how. But being evil was the only source to connect to. Because trying to be good would land me in the back of the line. So this is it day in and day out. Until my evil nature caught up to me so bad that I broke into tears just to know the Truth regarding my life. If death was my reward so be it. Part 2. Why I was created. I wanted love not pain. I wanted happiness not grief. I wanted my parents to love me not despise me. These are the things I wanted. Yet strangely enough I never ask for them I was to evil to ask. It should have been my gift. I should have been loved. My mind finally gave me the thought. Ask for the Father's Love. That's it. Basically I am saying erase my mind. Take away my beginning. Give me your love so I can be filled. This way I can be free. And I felt his love. Small amounts but enough that my mind can still lead. Farther into self denial. I pushed aside my evil and stretch my consciousness towards the skies. Part 3. How my Father tested me with his love. I was in the clouds. Until the thunder started clapping. The pain started a crusade with in me. I stopped my prayers. It wasn't helping me anymore. The clock stopped ticking. I had to find another way. Me. Not the Father. It was I myself to do something. Part 3. I needed to do something. How is it finding the Father's Love increased the pain inside of me. I felt so bad. Until I found that part of me that shook like a leaf in the hurricane. And there was THAT Tree(Mother,Marion,Samantha,desire) and that Oak(James,Wes,forum) and that Spirit of Truth (Mary M,Jesus) poured upon to say we were created to FEEL!! Part4....