This very day and every day onward can be a day of what bad feelings, pain and a life time here on earth of wrenching, unexplainable acts done to children will be undisputed the horrors of life. I've have felt every type of pain and bad feelings connected to the physical, mental, spiritual and any other type of body that is not mentioned. How I am still alive is still hard to believe. So what about the Soul? I myself still can not grasp an inkling of what it is. Probably kept me on my feet even when I couldn't see me doing anything. How hard and how long does the deadly pain continue until our Soul surprises us. Will I be able to endure this path. I let myself soak into the question of seering pain until my demise. Could I maintain my sanity through it all. So expressing it can at least be my starting point of it. Will my Soul show to be what it Truly is in its condition or will I still be longing for just a peak of its being. The only thing that has not had its time in the sun. Will I be able to accept what the results of all my bad feelings. And knowing longing for the Truth can add even more horrible feelings yet to come. And still I must heal. It is the death of me this very day and every day onward. How you James plugging away through all you post and write for these years. While I was alongside of you unknowingly going through this healing process. Yet only my eyes being opened only a year. But we are here! And there is work not like anything on earth that can compare to healing our evil.
That’s right Wes, and still I am accepting that my life is only about healing myself. My programming has been so heavy along the lines of I must find my ‘thing’, the thing in life that makes me acceptable, the thing I can earn a living from, have my own house, all what so many people are able to have and provide from themselves. And yet that’s not my life as it wasn’t part of my early pattern, as I am still accepting. And as it’s turned out, my healing is my life, something that wasn’t part of my early life so something that I’m having to still accept as I move deeper into it. And yes, there will be nothing harder for any of us than doing our healing, however it’s no harder that what we’ve already been through - what our parents put us through during our forming years. All the difficulties we face are those they made us suffer, and so on it goes. Daily I am astounded how the deep confusion within me keeps surfacing, so many wrong parts to my mind, so much unloving behaviour.
Uncover the truth through your feelings, and you're FREE!