That question hit me like a ton of bricks. And that is in line with me just looking at things and not being aware of the deeper issues. YES I am. So much fear exploded through me an accumulation of every fear I ever had to one great fear the fear of God the Father. It's like being in a class and never asking any questions just accepting a grade. Could Mary or you James see or feel it by my answer or would it be something Mary could see in my soul? I drew confidence in my spirit friend only as I would speak to her all the way through Divine Love prayers. Talking to the Father seemed to be to far off. Maybe I would be making it all up and deceiving myself. I here so many people say what God told them through them increasing there negative state and maybe that is part of it. And simply I might think that I need definite proof that my Father did say something to me. There was never any male figure that would listen to me besides you James so maybe that's part of it too. And it seems I can go on and on about so many other little fears that built up in my life. And maybe all the evil I'm going through would be the last straw and the Father let's me take on something I am not ready for and totally admit that I deserve it but still unable to endure the consequences. And again yes I do fear talking to the Father. A very awakening question.
"Could Mary or you James see or feel it by my answer or would it be something Mary could see in my soul?"
Mary could. I'd just finished reading your reply and was thinking if there was anything I wanted to say back to you, and then I felt Mary asking me to ask you. And I say 'felt', by which I mean, I start to think something and then my words are taken over and move in another direction and then I 'feel' it's Mary guiding them.
Lately I've been considering just how much we fear the Mother and Father if we fear our parents. Meaning: We only fear God if we fear our parents. If we loved our parents we'd truly love God. The word ‘truly’ being important, because I don’t mean believing and feeling we love God when the hidden truth is we’re using those so-called love feelings to hide our fear of God. The patterns are laid down concerning our relationship with our soul Mother and Father through our relationship with our physical mother and father. So every dysfunction we have in our relationship with our mum and dad, so we'll have with the Mother and Father. Yet not necessarily specifically, however the fact that we are not truly connecting with our parents, means we can't truly connect with our Heavenly Parents. So even if we feel we strongly love our Mother and Father and feel Their love for us, still, if we've got anything that's wrong in our relationship with our own parents, that will be negatively influencing our relationship with God. However by that I don't mean that we have to perfect our relationship with our parents so as to then have a perfect one with the Mother and Father. But we do have to prefect the relationship within ourselves - become perfect ourselves, so as to have a perfect relationship with Them. So we have to heal all our mother/father circuits and patterns within ourselves, thereby perfecting within ourselves our inner relationship with them so we can relate truly to ourself and to Them.
Currently I feel once we leave our parents, that's it with them. We are on our own looking to perfect and live true to ourselves and true to God. As to whether we might ever have anything to do with our parents again, even if they were to do their healing, I don't know. I imagine possibly for some people they will, and I image possibly for others they will not. But as I said, I have no idea, and it waits to be seen. But the beauty is, we don't have to have anything further to do with them if we don't want to, so we can heal all ourself without needing their involvement, and so irrespective of whether or not they do their healing.
So every bad part of our unloving relationship with our parents that we uncover the truth of, expressing fully all the associated feelings, is doing the same in our relationship with our Mother and Father. So by the time we finish our healing, being completely set free of our parents - of their negative influences, so we'll be free to take our first real steps of being perfectly true with our Mother and Father. Then I imagine we’ll start to get a real understanding about what it feels like to feel truly loved and to be truly loving.
Uncover the truth through your feelings, and you're FREE!
It really helped me a lot understanding that fear of speaking to the Father. It lead to the opening to many other ones that seem small but to my dismay they (fears) had an impact. My spirit friend is also helping me also with it. Wow I never would had thought I had that fear. Until you both acknowledge it. I guess little by little something new cones up to show what healing all en tells. We'll getting caught in just prayer leaves you stranded so to speak. And now as I gain confidence shortly I will speak to him. I can feel his presence much stronger now as well as my spiritual friend. The Mother I do speak to which is a happy process to me. Very warm feelings I have with her. As she really at this time wants me to find my true self. Concentrate on my healing. Really get my feet wet before anything else.
It's my first time writing to her and what an easy encounter the Mother gave me. She knows the problems I have centered inside me and eases my pain as I go deeper into them. Knowing that I have my work cut out for me she gently guides me on my way. My journey becomes finally my journey. Not doctrines and beliefs that are propose to us through out our lives. She says to know who I am first and we will have the awful clouds in my life cleared. And doing it through expressing how bad I feel. The Mother waited for me to finally come around and gave me strong and loving feeling. So maybe one day I can receive this into my soul. Even thinking how easy she made it for me is very special and wonderful. Feel with joy that I tried writing to the Mother. How bad I felt not knowing her for these many years and how better I feel to understand that this path blind sided me like a ton of bricks. Which was my whole tortured life lead to this warm feeling that I feel when writing to the Mother.