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Post by wesley on Sept 14, 2014 9:25:41 GMT 10
Through out my life starting with my teacher in math class my healing cleared up for me why I became good with numbers. The day she inspired me with such few words I didn't become good with numbers but started a good relationship with the spirit of them. It was fairly simple and easy for anyone to do if they feel so inclined. And I won't say that this is truth but for me the Mother shows her children being able to show you things beyond the complications that they present. I became excited when my teacher spoke to me that I carried it straight forward to those pages of numbers. Those numbers cling to my joy as if they were also happy and excited. And still I loathed math class and any other subject. But here started that relationship that will last forever. Their never was any study needed once I became happy with numbers. Because where they present themselves they would guide me through. Tests taken then from my grade school onward were merely A s. If you look at every book of study in mathematics you'll see many things, formula, equations, word problems and so on. But none can be compared to the number of lilies in a field. They are truly created. Not by the mind. How does nature deal. For example, the bird builds it's nest not by a formula but it knows how many twigs it takes to build a nest that can withstand strongest of winds. Or the Lioness her eyes seeing the numbers of prey and understanding the balance of nature is very important when she hunts. Some say it's instinct. Or the distance an eagle can see but only she knows. How many leaves on a tree? Do you think they are there for nothing. Why not count them sometime and partake in the joy of numbers. You will have friends. Every job I had I simply refuse to be trained. Taken down process to enhance my mind and brain. There was no need too. Can you take fire into your body and not be burned. Look what these formulas create on earth. We all know. Yet after learning the job the way these numbers present themselves takes on my teaching. When we can just take time to appreciate these creatures you will understand more than the great scientist in my opinion. He studies and I will refuse too. I feel the burning as I speak this because I and the spirit of numbers are still together. Who can predict anything with an infinite spirit. The hour, the day, and the year. With an evil heart and soul do you think they will come to you and guide you. Predicting the weather by numbers and hoping it can save you from the hurricane or earth quake but the creatures of the field knows pretty well. My healing will never join evil and the perfect spirit for evil sake. I never go into their home to used them to make me a scientist. And they are my companions. They are not my servants for evil. Ask a baby to count her toes and watch how happy she is when she is done. And see what you feel when you ask. Then ask yourself does the earth need these formulas for cleansing. Can we help it with a graph or chart. With a great scientist building new cells and energy grids to generate healing. The voyage we be helpless at best. Still the calculations move forward. Trying to ty in ways of living by these evil methods. We spend all our time not relating with this spirit but trying to make and force it to be our servants on our creation. Then the numbers representing the evil of man. Really. What a false belief in my opinion. I see no evil in them in no pattern or in direction of end times. They play and are very happy and perfect.
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Post by James on Sept 15, 2014 20:30:54 GMT 10
So Wes if you were an artist as in the painter variety, you'd simply apply the paint to your canvas following your intuition and not following set or standard rules and procedures such as drawing it all out in the space provided and then filling in what you've outlined with paint. Is that how you say you do your maths - just all intuitively and not follow formulas and equations? I've not heard anything like it before. I wish maths or any subject for that matter had been as enjoyable for me at school.
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Post by wesley on Sept 16, 2014 0:37:53 GMT 10
Exactly. That way errors or flaws can be adjusted by your creativity. For example, a sun doesn't have to be painted round at the beginning a series of strokes and blending will be sufficient. If the standard outline is done what happens if the paint doesn't form to it. There will be no way to correct it. Self denial was a procedure and standard in our lives. Which lead us deeper into errors. You and I were set up for healing from our family situations. We tried what was supposed to be how to live a good life by not using our feelings. So the methods were all there. But some how it didn't seem to work out for us. Thinking positive,being good, listening to our parents and following this from straight forward for years. Now it's time to wake up to the horrors of it all. The same life goals and dreams that every person has to be to be successful here on earth. Having everything you want that society claims is the good life. But when the errors start pouring out even though you tried the standard way of living happy the struggle gets harder. I tried my best to honor my parents and they still beat me to a pulp. Until there is nothing else you can do. Something is wrong here and I can't fix it. Yes our life is all wrong and now you can see it. I am going to correct it through how I feel. And the Truth is I feel hated. I feel the world is falling in on itself. Children are the blame by the parents. No one can stand by the standards anymore. Hard work goes unnoticed. Nothing matters. Life goes on and on. No place to go nothing to do so why try too move against ones self to prove a mute point. Gain the whole world and lose your soul is what most people unconsciously want. So at most we have our healing to show us out of this standard crap. That is my life and even though it's crappy I'm living true to myself. You know the joy and comfort I feel when I'm not following the standard way. Over and over again seeing flaw after flaw in the procedure ly methods. I hate my life and seeing it that way to long for the Truth of it.
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Post by James on Sept 16, 2014 19:43:14 GMT 10
So you look at all your patterns as rules, equations, formulas etc. you were forced to live. And if you lived them correctly then you’d be doing what your parents said and so should feel happy and loved. But you weren’t able to live their way as it didn’t make you feel good, so now you’re trying to live your way, which is just allowing yourself to feel what you feel. And looking to your feelings to take you along ‘their’ way. Your feelings being the ‘formula’ but one that’s not linear but lateral or even multidimensional. So you don’t try and control yourself using your mind, as that’s just more of what your parents did to you, that’s just applying formulas and equations again, you just try to be feeling-free.
Wes, I’m trying to put what you’re saying in my own words so I can relate to it.
So if you are JUST FEELINGS then you will paint your picture of life with presumably a structure and order but one that evolves through your feelings, and one that is fluid, adaptable, open ended and carries you along, and not one that is rigid, inflexible and fixed, ended up at dead ends.
So it’s like we are the paint and our feelings put the pain on the canvas and our life is the result - the picture. And there is an order, plan and pattern but it’s governed by our soul and not created by or controlled by our minds - who are parents.
I too feel hated, I hate myself as I was hated. Yesterday I allowed myself to feel hated by myself, angry with myself, a host of bad feelings without trying to do anything to stop them. Not once did any of my usual feeling-avoidance patterns come into play. Not even one thought of... I’ll look on the internet now... hoping something I would see or read would take my mind off feeling bad for a while.
I still find it bizarre that it’s taken me all these years to allow myself to feel what I am feeling, as if that’s some incredible achievement and not simply something that I naturally do. That I didn’t do it, that I do everything in my life but that - it’s so weird, and to think I can even survive without being true to my feelings! To push myself aside, make up a whole false reality, all pretending I feel okay, when I don’t at all. Yesterday I felt what I was feeling, plain and simple, all day long.
And then from this point of just being as I feel and not being any other way, I can decide whether or not I want to look into my feelings to find out why I am feeling what I’m feeling. I can long for the truth, speak to Marion about them, and see what comes. Or I can simply stay with them and do nothing but feel them - feel myself feeling them.
And I also realised today that as we both felt like shit all day yesterday, that I can now do that, be with another person all day long and we both just feel very bad. And not do anything to stop ourselves feeling that way. And as she said, it’s how we should always feel because we’re still untrue. And so we shouldn’t feel good until we’re true. Because how can you feel good if you’re untrue, as being untrue makes you feel bad. And so only when we are true will be feel loved, good and happy, and so until then, it’s just feeling bad.
Marion was just saying that it’s not so much that we express our feelings out of us, so when we’ve expressed all our bad ones that we’ve kept repressed out of us, we’ll feel good, but it’s more to simply be the bad feeling (or good) allowing it to fully integrate within us as we express and fully acknowledge it. Which means allowing it to give us whatever experience it will, even if that means sitting on the couch with your head in your hands moaning with the pain of your misery or whatever bad feeling you’re feeling. We can’t feel without having some sort of experience, feeling is an experience, but with each feeling comes some sort of action - it makes us do something, even if it’s just talking about it. Or at least it should make us do something if we fully acknowledge it. So if we don’t and instead deny it, then we’re denying ourselves that experience, that vital experience that will integrate into becoming part of us, part of who we are and the truth we live.
So as we fully respect ourselves by accepting and acknowledging our bad feelings allowing ourselves to express them however we feel to, then they will become integrated into our personality of life experience, becoming part of our truth. So we will know the truth of such feelings, which leads us to the truth of ourselves - as in what is happening to us to give rise to such feelings. So our repressed ones as they come up will uncover the truth of what gave rise to them.
So it’s not that we’ve got a boil on our back filled with the puss and putridness of our repressed bad feelings we need to lance and drain so we’ll be free of the pain and bad feelings themselves, but it’s that we can allow our bad feelings to move freely within us, taking up their position as part of our life experience, all adding to the person we are and the truth we live. And once integrated, we are then forever free to feel them, should we need to. And as we become truer, then I would imagine there would be less reason to feel them, as we’d no longer have them repressed within us making us feel bad.
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Post by wesley on Sept 17, 2014 15:33:29 GMT 10
Yes. That is very GOOD. Is like I wrote a paragraph in a book and the interpretation brought out more of the unseen. I read it about 4 times and decided to make my own little pamphlet. Like a second voice bringing out more feelings to observe. I guess one can be very creative when one can put it in a way that one(James) can relate too. And that is what it is written for to be understood your way. I wouldn't be able to express this unless one has their feelings involved because they will never understand what I'm trying to say just using the mind and definition. You show to not used definition and description but just how it feels too you. Taking it too your heart to give the light as you relate to my Spirit of numbers. Very good I must say so myself. And it also helps me to understand what I wrote also. This is a major part of my whole life considering that it sustain me through out my years. It is all good spiritual literature to read.
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