The blessing of the fawn
Jun 1, 2014 12:10:53 GMT 10
Post by desire2bme on Jun 1, 2014 12:10:53 GMT 10
While I was out watering the garden today, I thought I heard a lost older cat from a distance. At one point I laid the water hose down and started walking toward it's cry. It took me inside myself to the helpless infant crying...helpless...feeling lost. The cry just stopped. I turned around and walked back to do some more watering of the garden. About a half an hour goes by and it starts again. Repeat. Lay down the hose, walk toward the cry, and this time I watch a little sweet fawn finding it's way up the sloping ditch in high grasses. It was a hot day and to watch this baby deer all by itself crying out took me so easily to the little abandoned child within me crying for her Mother. I heard myself saying, "Every baby needs it's mama."
My husband inside the house heard me saying , "It's a baby deer..." and came out soon after with his camera. The little fawn had laid down and I had sat a little distance away just talking quietly to it in a soothing voice. I wanted to go closer but didn't want to create more stress or scare it and wondered if I just sat for a while, it may come toward me. Once my husband showed up with the camera and started snapping pictures, a part of me felt angry. I understood his excitement...I doubt if he had ever been this close to a fawn. I hadn't. But it pretty much ruined causing as little motion as I wanted to have around this crying sweet little one. I asked my husband it he thought I should go get some water for it. He said he didn't know...why not try? So I ran back toward the house, got a bucket full of water and by the time I came back, I saw the little deer heading back toward the ditch after watching my husband actually touch it.
"Did you touch it?" I asked him. "It moved toward me and was checking me out, so yeah, I touched it." I instantly went back to something in my memory that says, "Don't touch baby animals in the wild or the scent of a human may keep it's mothers from taking care of it." I didn't say anything to him but instead walked toward where the fawn had laid down in the grasses in the ditch placing the water bucket close to it. It ended up being afraid and heading up the other side of the ditch and laying down again.
At this point I went back in the house to investigate on the computer what I can do for the fawn should the mother not return. I knew that fawns are left during the day by their mothers while they go get food for themselves and then return to feed their babies...but I found it strange that this fawn did not stay hidden like most babies would and was out bleating, crying out and walking out in visible sight of predators. My husband thought the mother may have died if this was the case. This stirred up so much in me....got me in touch with the complete helplessness of this baby. I began to think of the protections and defenses we begin to build out of dire necessity fearing our death when our mothers go missing and do not return. What shock our physical bodies must go through when we are left alone with the fear of no one coming back to tend to our immediate needs.
I read that as the sun begins to set, the mothers will return to their fawn to feed them. My husband reiterated that he thought the mother was no longer alive. I felt myself mourning inside and decided to take a walk down the gravel road to where the fawn had been laying in the ditch all through the day. In my mind, I had decided to bottle feed this little one if it made it through the night and was not fed by morning. Right as I had begun to think about what I'd need to purchase to do this, I saw deer tracks...it was obvious in the gravel...the set of adult tracks and little ones right together. IF I was the kind who easily cried, this would have been when I would have, but I don't, and felt the silent tears inside me slide down into a pool within me. I walked a bit further and saw where the fawn had laid during the day. The grass was all padded down and the fawn was gone.
Thank you Mother God for Your Love poured into this scene for me today. Thank you for letting me touch into this helpless place of my own through the cries of a blessed little fawn.
My husband inside the house heard me saying , "It's a baby deer..." and came out soon after with his camera. The little fawn had laid down and I had sat a little distance away just talking quietly to it in a soothing voice. I wanted to go closer but didn't want to create more stress or scare it and wondered if I just sat for a while, it may come toward me. Once my husband showed up with the camera and started snapping pictures, a part of me felt angry. I understood his excitement...I doubt if he had ever been this close to a fawn. I hadn't. But it pretty much ruined causing as little motion as I wanted to have around this crying sweet little one. I asked my husband it he thought I should go get some water for it. He said he didn't know...why not try? So I ran back toward the house, got a bucket full of water and by the time I came back, I saw the little deer heading back toward the ditch after watching my husband actually touch it.
"Did you touch it?" I asked him. "It moved toward me and was checking me out, so yeah, I touched it." I instantly went back to something in my memory that says, "Don't touch baby animals in the wild or the scent of a human may keep it's mothers from taking care of it." I didn't say anything to him but instead walked toward where the fawn had laid down in the grasses in the ditch placing the water bucket close to it. It ended up being afraid and heading up the other side of the ditch and laying down again.
At this point I went back in the house to investigate on the computer what I can do for the fawn should the mother not return. I knew that fawns are left during the day by their mothers while they go get food for themselves and then return to feed their babies...but I found it strange that this fawn did not stay hidden like most babies would and was out bleating, crying out and walking out in visible sight of predators. My husband thought the mother may have died if this was the case. This stirred up so much in me....got me in touch with the complete helplessness of this baby. I began to think of the protections and defenses we begin to build out of dire necessity fearing our death when our mothers go missing and do not return. What shock our physical bodies must go through when we are left alone with the fear of no one coming back to tend to our immediate needs.
I read that as the sun begins to set, the mothers will return to their fawn to feed them. My husband reiterated that he thought the mother was no longer alive. I felt myself mourning inside and decided to take a walk down the gravel road to where the fawn had been laying in the ditch all through the day. In my mind, I had decided to bottle feed this little one if it made it through the night and was not fed by morning. Right as I had begun to think about what I'd need to purchase to do this, I saw deer tracks...it was obvious in the gravel...the set of adult tracks and little ones right together. IF I was the kind who easily cried, this would have been when I would have, but I don't, and felt the silent tears inside me slide down into a pool within me. I walked a bit further and saw where the fawn had laid during the day. The grass was all padded down and the fawn was gone.
Thank you Mother God for Your Love poured into this scene for me today. Thank you for letting me touch into this helpless place of my own through the cries of a blessed little fawn.
