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Post by James on Oct 10, 2013 21:37:26 GMT 10
Questions to ask yourself to help stay focused on your feelings.
Example A.) I have a pain in my thigh. It’s a dull ache on the side and half way up my leg. I have no idea why I have the pain, as I’ve not bumped into anything. The pain when I focus on it has a slight throb to it. The pain, is a bad feeling. I tell Marion about it.
She asks me: How does the pain make you feel? Do you feel miserable, angry, scared... what?
And this is what the healing is all about - expressing any bad emotions and feelings this pain is making me feel. And all whilst I long for the truth of those feelings.
Example B.) I have a headache. The pain goes down through my head and the middle of my right eye. It hurts more when I move my head. It’s agony.
I ask myself: How does my headache make me feel? What does it make me feel like doing? What do I wish I could I do - and why? How does doing and wishing those things make me feel?
Example C.) I feel angry that I’ve got to put more rubbish out when I’ve already done it. I express my anger to Marion about it.
She asks me: How does feeling angry make you feel? And I have to think, and feel deeper into myself - how does it make me feel? Feeling angry makes me feel... When I feel angry like this... What does my anger make me feel like doing... and how would doing those things make me feel?
Example D.) I feel yuk. Yuk, yuk, yuk!
She asks me: How does feeling yuk make you feel?
I don’t know, the question is too hard. How does feeling yuk make me feel... it makes me feel yuk.
She says, yes of course it does, but how does feeling it make you feel? Do you feel sad, happy, miserable, overjoyed, depressed... what?
And then once I’ve connected with how feeling yuk makes me feel, telling her all I can, she then asks me: As feeling yuk makes you feel miserable, how does feeling miserable make you feel? And on it goes. Always longing for the truth of the feelings that come up in me to be expressed.
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Post by James on Feb 27, 2014 21:36:39 GMT 10
This is NOT doing your Feeling-Healing or Soul-Healing.
It is doing some healing, but not your WHOLE healing so as to END your evil or negative state of mind and will. It is only doing healing to alter your mind control, to change your patterns within your negative and controlling state - perhaps to lessen it, but not to end it.
Doing your feeling-healing and soul-healing involves constantly wanting to bring up ALL your repressed yuk, to fully accept ALL the bad feelings you feel, and to constantly long to see the truth of them. And to keep going until you know there is simply no more of your repressed childhood feelings left to surface. And by the time that happens, you will know the whole truth of your evil or negative, feeling- and self-denying untrue state. So you’ll know the whole truth of all your unloving relationships with your family and carers you had during your forming years and childhood; and understand all the negative unloving patterns of behaviour and beliefs controlling them which you took on from your parents, and how you’ve outworked them and impressed them upon all relationships in your adult life, including your own children if you’ve had or got them.
The ‘healers’, counsellors, self-help workshops all of which claim to help you live true to yourself, even to your feelings, to look deeper and bring to light your ‘true story’, all whilst promoting forgiveness and ‘getting in touch with your anger’, all so you can end up getting on well with your parents and family and stop ‘parent bashing’, are all things to beware of that will sidetrack you into believing you are doing your healing, when as I said, although you might be liberating some trauma and repressed feelings, still really all you’re doing is reshuffling your inner deck.
And people can work consistently on themselves for years, most of their adult life, believing they are making progress getting in touch with their soul and living more from their heart and not their mind, giving up the control their mind has over themselves; getting in touch with the true and real person they are but which has been buried or made false by problems during their early life. But all this work, if anything, is merely preparation for when they will want to find out the whole truth of themselves through their feeling- or soul-healing.
A lot of people say they want to fix themselves, but they don’t want to have to deal with any problems in their relationships, with their family or partners. They want to somehow just deal with their shit, and once done, all their relationships will be good. Doing your feeling- or soul-healing is going right into the core of yourself, to bring to light all the pain and agony you suffered by not feeling truly loved. And it’s done WITHIN all your relationships. It’s not about going away to a five day retreat to sort yourself out, coming back and you’re full of forgiveness and no longer having all that annoying seething repressed anger there waiting to erupt at any moment.
Doing your feeling- and soul-healing is about going into the whole truth of your relationships with your parents, and accepting that as you do it, you will probably destroy your relationship with them. And it’s wanting to HATE your parents for all their bad treatment of you. And allowing yourself to bring it up, all that dreaded repressed misery, guilt, fear, anxiety, anger and hatred, and whilst not necessarily having to confront them with it, still allowing yourself to accept and express it and uncover its truth, which can take tens of years as it all has to be worked through in daily life. And you will have mountains of repressed anger and misery and sadness and pain and all the other bad feelings within you, all buried and hidden with you, all waiting to come up and out.
So potentially as the truth comes to light about your relationships you have to prepared to let them all go, for the truth might show you how false they are. And it’s about keeping on going, longing for the truth, longing for all the bad feelings you’ve repressed in you to surface, longing and longing hard, as much as you can through the day; and especially when you’re in your bad feelings, expressing them, and looking for the truth they are to show you.
And it’s about following your feelings and ending all your mind control over your feelings. And if there is to be any forgiveness it will naturally come, but don’t expect it, don’t work for it, that’s all getting caught up in your mind again. It’s not about looking to have nice, happy, forgiving and loving relationships. It’s not about trying to become unconditionally loving. It’s simply about UNCOVERING THE WHOLE TRUTH OF YOUR NEGATIVE STATE OF MIND AND WILL THAT YOUR LIFE IS - THAT YOU ARE. And when you are fully healed, then you can feel how loving you feel and all the attributes of such love. But until that time, it’s about allowing yourself to hate and feel as unloved as you do feel, and expressing all such vile and putridness in you, all the zillions of repressed bad feelings you’ve felt from conception right the way through to twenty-one. And breaking down all the controlling mental patterns that you have which stop you from naturally accepting and expressing all such feelings.
All the other therapy, psychological work, the counselling you receive, the self-help, sure, it can change some of the surface layers and deeper trauma you might be suffering; relieve a lot of stress, even make you very happy and loving and feel open to love, but it’s all only one small part of what’s still remaining deeply buried in you. And the problem with accepting that this is your healing, is that you run the risk of inadvertently burying your deeper childhood repression even further, making it all the more harder when you have to look once again deeper into yourself and face the truth that with all the ‘healing’ you’ve done, all that hard work, you’ve still only been deluding yourself and living a fantasy that you have healed yourself.
If you’ve had a parent that was good and bad, loving and unloving, for example, someone who was violent in one moment but then extra nice trying to make up in the next; or you believe something like, even though your parents got angry with you, ‘overall they loved you’, then naturally you’re going to want to hang onto the good times, any love, and block out the bad stuff. So there is a huge temptation to do the healing work on yourself all so as to forgive your parents for the bad stuff, or see the ‘more loving parent’ in an even better light, to come to some kind of self-resolution about it, to rationalise it aside, and to feel you’re on top of it, it no longer controlling or having any power over you, all so you can continue pretending that you’re okay and don’t have to keep going into all the really bad stuff. So you can pretend your relationship with your parents is now okay, now you understand: okay, they had some bad stuff they were dealing with and it was hard for them - it’s hard for us all; okay, so now I understand better why they were so angry to me; now with my own children I understand more how trying it is, so I can forgive them... but it’s all rationalising their unlovingness away.
With your Soul-Healing and the Divine Love, or your Feeling-Healing without it, it’s about keeping on wanting and longing for the all the bad stuff to keep coming up, to move past the temptation of trying to forgive and forget, to keep remembering through your bad feelings just how bad and unloving it was for you, all until you know there are simply no more bad feelings repressed within you.
People who never felt loved at all, or might only believe they did with such beliefs providing a very thin veneer covering the truth and underlying bad feelings, will find it much easier to just keep going because they don’t have the so-called ‘good times’ and ‘love’ to use to hide the bad ones. So these people will feel they are down their hole of despair and depression permanently, hardly able to keep their head above water; but should they just keep going accepting and expressing and uncovering the truth of their bad feelings, will work through their yuk faster than those people who keep delaying facing the bad stuff, who have to wait until life pushes them yet again forcibly back down into their yuk showing them there is still more to go - you’ve not finished yet.
We all so desperately want power so we can have control over our bad feelings, so to go the other way and not want it, to submit and keep surrendering to our bad feelings, even praying for them to keep coming up and longing for them to do so with all our will, can take a lot of courage. And of course, in the end, you can only do what you can do. But so long as you keep longing to uncover the WHOLE truth of yourself and want to bring to light all your childhood repressed yuk, even with it possibly destroying ALL your relationships, then your stuff will keep surfacing.
We just have to keep bringing out all our bad feelings no matter what they are or when they come up, and just see what happens, because we can’t know. And if you’re scared that you’ll be left alone without anyone loving or liking you or you loving or liking anyone, then these are simply more bad feelings to accept, express and seek the truth of.
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Post by James on May 5, 2014 14:17:28 GMT 10
Free pdf books about how do your healing - here
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Post by James on Jun 27, 2014 18:39:42 GMT 10
Morking on
Up comes the yuk, Marion talks on and on about how bad she feels. And it becomes too much. I start to feel overwhelmed, like I’m fading out, as if I’m being pushed aside, out the door, out of the world, out of life. And on and on she goes, and my eyes start to get heavy, I want to sleep, go away, block it all out, disappear. And when I go on and on, morking on about all my yuk, she feels the same.
And it’s right that we feel the same. The one morking is having to go on, the bad feeling being too much and relentlessly pushing up. But it’s not right, if we were true and perfect we’d never mork, they’d be no reason to. The one morking is having all the power, the victim and powerless one is having to sit there being subjected to it. And even though I’ve written about the need for us to be friends for each other, to listen and allow the other to go and on should they need to, still it’s not right for either to be subjected to such things.
Ideally in true conversations, one can feel bad seeking to express all they feel, however by including and wanting and making sure the other is also an equal and retains their power in the interaction. It not being one-sided. So with the listener putting in, almost as much as the one expressing their bad feeling, with both actively participating in the interaction, rather than how it was with my parents, with them having all the power and me the powerless victims on the receiving end, unable to saying anything back to them, unable to actively participate, just having to sit there enduring their dumping on me.
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Post by James on Jun 27, 2014 18:40:15 GMT 10
Fearing our parents’ bad experiences.
Let’s say our parents have a bad experience at some point in their lives. Then fearing it, they do all they can to prevent us from having to suffer all they suffered, believing they are lovingly protecting us, shielding us from the pain they went through. However we are not them. They are forcing us to passively experience what they did, but we don’t understand what’s going on - what they are going on about. So much of what they said we can’t relate to just having to take it on adjusting ourselves and screwing ourselves up even more.
My mother falls down a hole, it scares the shit out of her, so she knows to beware of holes. Then she stops me from having anything to do with holes, so in no way can I find out about them. And the hole my mother fell down no longer exists, so I can’t even fall down the same hole she had and have the same bad experience she had - I am not her. So she parents me to be scared of that hole - ‘her hole’, and yet I don’t understand what she’s going on about. And so I become scared of this hole that I’ll never come across in my life. And being made to be afraid of so many ‘holes’ has only served to fill me up to overflowing with things I’m scared of which I have no idea about, things that will never happen to me in life yet which I fear in some ways have already happened, as they happened to mum, and will happen again at any moment.
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Post by James on Jul 2, 2014 18:39:54 GMT 10
Another helping hint being the friend of the person who is trying to express their deeper bad feelings seeking the truth of them.
Marion says she had a dream, she needed a pad but on going to get one they all had blood on them.
In listening to her saying this, I have certain feelings - yuk pads, tampons with blood, yuk blood, worry - what’s wrong, why did they all have blood on them; oh no, what are you going to do because they are all used. These things wiz through my mind as if I’m her suddenly finding myself in this situation.
In casual relationships, say someone was telling the story of this dream, one might make the appropriate sympathetic noises of yuk or that’s a bad thing being in that position and so on. And one might say something or not, but basically just listening to the person tell their story.
In a working-on-ourselves-doing-our-healing-with-each-other relationship, one in which we’re wanting to go right into our feelings about it all and see what they are all about, then really it’s not necessary to make such sympathetic noises or facial expressions, but to stay attuned to the person to see where they are going with it - what feelings did they have, and how do they feel about having them.
So in this case with Marion, it’s about her expressing all to do with her dream. I can have my feelings and thoughts about it as if I am her, but I’m there wanting her to keep going, to keep telling me more about all she felt about it.
And if for example she just carried on saying: but it was all right because I then found some unused pads, end of dream, she not feeling bad or anything, then I can ask her about feelings I thought she might have felt - those I had by putting myself in her place. For example: But didn’t you feel scared not having any pads or tampons; where you annoyed about not having any; and what about suddenly finding yourself in that situation - how did that make you feel? And how did you feel when you then found unused ones - did you feel relieved? Or whatever it was that was going through me as she was telling her story. All being said to really help her express more about herself. However I’m not the therapist just asking questions so she will talk more about herself, I have to be genuinely wanting to know, so genuinely wanting her to tell me more about herself so I can understand her better for myself.
Of course one can also ask such questions of people who are not doing their healing, depending upon your relationship and just out of curiosity; but for the sake of wanting to help one do their healing, then it’s all about getting to know the other person, and helping them get to know themselves, so encouraging them to bring out more of themselves, to go a bit further, a bit deeper with their feelings if they are not doing it themselves. In our society mostly people don’t want to go deeper, it’s not about looking into themselves to uncover the truth of their repressed selves, so they brush such attempts of making them face their bad feelings aside, and it’s not polite or ones business to push them. So one can ask, but then one must also confront ones motivations for doing so when the other person is not wanting to go that way in life.
And in this case with Marion, she might not have any further feelings about it all; but then again, she might, with my questioning helping her to focus on parts she’d not focused on herself.
And although I can write this having something of a picture and understanding about it, it has come from Marion, as I can’t actually do what I’ve written. So what she’s trying to help me see is there are two levels of relating to other people; the more casual superficial one with other people who aren’t doing their healing, and then the more intimate truth-seeking one like I’m having with her.
And I’ve not been able to do either. But now because of my healing I can do the superficial one but still tend to relate to Marion that way too, so now she’s helping me see that it’s not helpful or needed when she’s telling me about her bad feelings, and I need to be another way with her for that.
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Post by James on Jan 17, 2015 22:10:49 GMT 10
A healing relationship
Based on Marion’s and my relationship experience as we work through our healing, I want to make a point of saying our relationship is what we call a “Healing Relationship” and one that is not ‘normal’. And if you are in a relationship in which you are both intent on healing yourselves, some of this might be applicable to you.
As I’ve said before, it’s all been instigated by Marion, and I’ve chosen to go along with her. I’ve not been able to do anything else. And all along I’ve felt this is right - that she (her way) is right. And right from the start she insisted that we should not try and have a loving relationship, that as we’re both fucked, let’s forget about love and trying to do all those things that make the relationship loving or show there is love there. Let’s try and go the other way and be all about hate, being free to hate each other when we feel such terrible feelings, and not try and dismiss them, blocking them out so as not to upset the other person just in case they say they have had enough and want to leave.
So the focus of ones ‘healing relationship’ is being with each other to help bring out all the yuk, to empty yourselves of your rottenness, to bring up and express and be in all your vile most putrid evilness. To spew out all over each other all you feel to, all your anger, resentment, guilt, hate, resistance, all the stuff that’s usually a no-no in a normal love-seeking relationship. To even do all you can to break down all that love stuff, to not have sex, to bring up all the sexual fantasies, to talk about it all, all the love-craving, depravities, all what you want in love and don’t have, all you are longing for, all how you hate the other person for not loving you and giving you what you need, and for them not being how you want them to be.
And to understand that any moment might be the death of the relationship you are in, that it might get ripped apart and you’d be alone and feeling all those awful feelings. ...And then again, it might not fail, it may continue to survive, limp along, or even surprisingly - thrive. It might actually be able to weather all storms because each of you is looking to it to help make you feel bad, so those bad feelings can be fully acknowledged, expressed, and their truth sought. So that the aggravations and dysfunctions between the two of you are blessings, are right, are needed, so as to constantly keep stirring the pot, making each other feel bad. And the constant stresses and strains are the required tension needed to face ones untruth and break down all the false beliefs and bring to light all the false unloving behaviours that are actually standing in the way of uncovering the truth of oneself, of ones evilness. All of which is fully honouring ones unloving state, all that’s usually covered up by the pretext of being loving.
So to acknowledge, that most, if not all, of what each of you call loving is not loving at all, but what you’ve learnt to do so as to survive in the pain your soul is in, all trying to make things better than they are. So to understand that possibly most of what you call love is going to be broken apart, your loving actions shown up for being hatful and not truly loving, the very opposite of what you’ve believed they are. And that possibly all your so-called loving feelings could dissolve away into being what they were - a contrived pretence of love.
And to keep going, working it all through until there is simply nothing more to do. Then to be left completely in your no-love states, both fully and unconditionally accepting each other for being what you are - unloving, and not trying to do anything to change that. To let all your warts show and to see that surprisingly you are still with each other, and you’ve gone much further than you thought you possibly could together, and all your relationship values and beliefs about what you thought a relationship was have changed. And you still keep going together.
And then one day when you’ve completely healed yourselves, possibly you will feel love, true love for yourself and for each other. And every morning you’ll wake up so much looking forward to seeing your partner, mate and best friend, that nothing more in life makes you feel so good and loved as they do. That you want nothing more than to be blissfully together enjoying the pleasure being in each others company brings. That you feel such a great love for each other, relishing every moment together with no greater love, other than feeling so in love your Mother and Father and feeling so loved by Them. That you feel so secure, so happy, so wanted by each other - so happy to be alive; content, peaceful, naturally wilful and truly empowered; feeling-free, totally feeling-expressive, all the opposite to how you felt feeling so unloved.
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Post by James on Jan 18, 2015 18:31:39 GMT 10
Love thy neighbour?
We are told we should love everyone. That it’s wrong to hate, that we must be nice, kind and caring, and not a selfish shit who doesn’t give a fuck about anyone other than himself.
If you are spiritual, you are all-loving. The two, so we believe and so make ourselves be - or just believe we are anyway, go hand in hand. Or, if you’re not all-loving, you should at least be aspiring to be so. You should by trying to ‘turn your thoughts to love’, open your heart to the other person, feel their pain, give yourself selflessly and without condition, love your neighbour as want them to love you.
Which is all fair enough if we could do it, but living in love-denying states, we need to go the other way and own up and fully accept and acknowledge that we CAN’T LOVE. How we can love and be all-loving when we are not truly loving ourselves? It’s an impossibility. We can’t make ourselves be something we are not. We can certainly pretend we’re something we’re not, contriving our love and good feelings all to cover up how we’re really feeling deeper inside ourselves.
If through your healing you feel yourself wanting to move further way from people, wanting to isolate yourself, even if not physically but emotionally, mentally and spiritually, allow yourself to go with such feelings. They are not wrong.
Being evil as we all are, means we are not loving. So instead of uniting and feeling pulled together with one another through love, really we should, and do, feel the opposite: rejected and wanting to reject, and not wanting to be with anyone else.
Being evil means we should end up completely alone and feeling completely unloved and devastated about having such a nothing, no-love life. But as we can’t allow ourselves to be true to our no-love evilness, so we have to contrive and pretend we’re not as we truly feel we are, that we are the opposite, so feeling good, loved and are loving.
It’s important to allow yourself to feel separate to the rest of humanity, if you feel that way, like you are not one of them, not able to play their games; because in evil we’re all actually fighting against ourselves, all trying to get away from all that is loving and bonding, and yet we try to go the other way making up friendships and keeping them when really there is nothing there to keep, because, who wants to be lonely?
We marry and have sex and love through fantasies of our mind, not with the truth from our soul. For the truth from our soul whilst we’re living untrue and anti-truth, is hate - that we hate ourselves and hate each other; that really we should hate our neighbour as we hate ourselves, and even as we want them to hate us. So because that’s how we really feel, it’s what we should accept.
And if we could all stop and admit and live true to our self-hate, and so hatred of each other - live true to our unloving evilness, then we might be actually able to in some way come together in commiseration and sympathy for each other feeling so bereft of love as we do. And even though we’d not be able to love each other, we’d still be able to be there for each other, accepting our own and each others evilness, and understanding there is nothing we can do about it other than just be true to it. So we can hate each other openly saying, I hate you, knowing that if any bad feelings come to light as a result of such harsh unloving words, then those are just more bad feelings that need embracing, expressing and looking for the truth of.
And so it’s better to not worry about love - not trying to love, and to try to go the other way if that’s how you feel; even to hate. To allow yourself to pull away, to not want to be part of the deception and untruth, to not want to keep playing the game of: Let’s be false pretending we love each other.
So consider ditching the brotherly/sisterly love, and even though it is true that we are all in it together, we still have to be true to what it is. That being, evil, and so no love and no truth.
So we can’t be as Jesus is, we can’t be all-loving, and really it’s only delaying our progress of becoming like him if we use our mind to try and live a fantasy ideal of being like Jesus; when instead we should use our mind to help us go with our feelings, which if allowed to, will take us down into the core of our untruth, pain and wrongness. We can’t, and so won’t, be as Jesus is, UNTIL we’ve healed all the wrongness from ourselves. We can long to be as he and Mary M are, but still accepting our limitations and so working to uncover the truth of them.
However, along the way in the course of your healing, should you feel loving and loved, then of course these feelings you are also to express and seek the truth of. We are to embrace all our feelings as they come up. And eventually as we want only the truth of ourselves from them, so they will lead us in the best way for us to uncover and find that truth.
So I write these things only for something to consider, to be more aware of. And it is to understand there are no hard and fast rules to any of it; I for example might feel hatred for myself and everyone else at this point in time in my healing, whilst another person in their healing might be feeling the very opposite, completely in love with themselves and everyone else, wanting nothing more than to help everyone feel as good as they do. And I might feel in one moment total self-hate, then in the next self-love. I might even feel both extremes at the same time. And we do our healing striving to live true to our feelings understanding that we’re all still part of the wrongness, it manifesting in all sorts of different ways at different times for us. All in the pursuit of TRUTH.
So whilst doing your healing, if you feel that instead of feeling like you are progressing becoming more loving, that you are actually going the opposite way hating more, then good, that is how it is meant to be currently for you; and of course, fully embrace such feelings moving with them as you express them and seek the truth of why you are feeling this way. And it’s not wrong to be so unloving in one sense, it is right, because it’s how you are currently feeling. It might be wrong overall in the bigger picture - wrong to be evil, however when you feel the bad feeling, it is right - you are right in feeling it, for it is you, and so it (you) must be given its full due.
So as we progress in our healing we will stop looking to the world for our self-worth, reasons to live, our good feelings, even for love. We can like things in the world but they are not to make us feel loved. We can gain a pleasure looking at the beautiful thing, even loving the wonder and splendour of nature or another person, but we are not to look to it to love us and fill in all our love gaps. We are not to look at it, or even at God for that matter, at anything outside ourselves in the hope that that thing will change us somehow, changing us into feeling good instead of feeling bad. We are only to look to ourselves. To our own feelings.
We are to pull away from the worlds entanglements. We are to stop having to be nice to people so people will like us, make us feel wanted, and love us. We are stop keeping our pets, feeding the dog or cat so it will love us and make us feel good. We are to eventually stop doing all the things in the world we are doing in the hope of feeling good and loved.
And these things will happen of their own accord. They will happen naturally in accordance with your advancing truth. When it is time to give up something that you do that is untrue, you will stop doing it or it will be removed from you, without any need to apply your mind, it all being down through the ongoing acceptance of all your feelings. And you might even find through your healing (though a stage in it, and one that might consist of many years), that you feel like going the other way and trying hard to gain friends, to be loving, have lots of pets, all so you will give rise to the feelings you will need to accept, express and uncover the truth of. And you are certainly NOT meant to stop having pets or friends or doing all the things you wrongly believe will give you love, just because I or anyone else says you should and it will help you with your healing.
We are all only ever meant to do as we feel, going this way and that, working through all the different levels and layers of belief, behaviour and untruth. So again I am only writing this to support you if you feel in your healing you are tending to move opposite to all you’ve believed are the right ways to go, that you’ve believed is what advancing spiritually is all about. If your feelings are leading you in your quest of truth, then you are to go with them wherever they take you. It is your own personal and private mission - to live true to yourself. No one else is to be involved in determining that for you. Other people of course will be instrumental in helping you, they will help you feel feelings, but it is only and always up to you, and no one else, to accept that these feelings are you, they are how you feel, and only you feeling them matters. And if in a situation everyone is crying and you are laughing, or everyone is laughing and you are crying, then you are not to dismiss your feelings, but go with them following them into the truth that lies in wait for you to find. The truth of your feelings, which is the truth of yourself - the truth of your soul, lies like treasure at the bottom of the rainbow of your feelings. The truth is within, waiting for your feelings to take you to it. The truth of yourself is not out there in the world, so looking out there will not find it, it will only distract and prevent you from living true to what you are already feeling.
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Post by James on May 27, 2015 21:36:01 GMT 10
Our healing is our Will-Healing
Remember our healing is really our Will-Healing. All the business of looking to our feelings, expressing them and uncovering their truth is to help us understand how our will was interfered with - denied its expression. And how not being able to be true to our feelings, freely expressing all we felt, is all because our will was compromised. Our soul drives its personalities into Creation through our will. Our feelings are the direct expression of our will, and so the closest part of us to our soul. Our mind is then to be used to understand and cognise all that we feel, all that’s going on, and ultimately to embrace and understand the truths we are to live naturally through our feelings. Our mind it to help us differentiate between feelings, to say this feeling is... and this one is... and this is what feeling... feels like. Our feelings are to remain free to come and go, and us with them, up and down, all that enriches our lives, because without them we’d just be dull minds functioning robotically. Which is about how I’ve lived most of my life.
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Post by James on Jul 27, 2015 16:24:22 GMT 10
They said if you stop being angry you’ll get what you want, so I stopped being angry. But I never got what I wanted. I’m still waiting. And I can’t be angry about waiting so long, because if I’m angry I won’t get what I want.
We’ve got to be how we are now - the truth, the truth in this feeling moment. Thus living true to our feelings. It’s also what is really meant when people say we’re to ‘live in the moment’. How can you live any other moment than a feeling-moment? So it’s the truth you see and feel NOW - how it is for you now. How fucked up you are, what your problem is, and why. Feel the feelings of it - NOW, and don’t try and work it out with your mind, instead long to see the truth of your feelings. Want the truth to come through your feelings, resulting from your feelings, nothing to do with thinking about it and working it out with your mind.
So you feel angry, so you keep expressing how angry you feel. You don’t try to work out why you are angry with your mind, saying something like: I’m angry because it’s how my parents treated me... You express all your anger as you’re feeling it, longing to see the truth it is to show you about yourself. And the truth will come, you just keep going, keep being true to your feeling. And if you feel your feeling wants to be expressed you speak or write or do whatever you feel. We are to let our feelings take us to our truth. The truth will come if you keep your mind back and don’t allow it to interfere.
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Post by James on Dec 13, 2015 17:29:23 GMT 10
Not controlling our feelings
We are to let our feelings control us, not the other way around with our controlling them by using our mind and its beliefs like we’ve all been taught.
And if we lived freely allowing all our feelings to be, and looking to them to lead and guide us in life, then we’d never be ‘out of control’. We would just feel what we felt, and over time, if we hadn’t grown up that way, get used to feeling the intensity and subtly (at times) of our feelings. We only ever feel out of control when the control we’re exerting over our feelings is not working, and we believe we must quickly exert more control to regain control.
So like most things to do with life, we’ve been made to be the wrong way round and made to believe that the right way is not going to work and will cause us harm, when the wrong way we’re forcing ourselves to live is causing us all our pain and harming our personality expression.
Our feelings are not to be feared, they are to be embraced, even lovingly, and even the bad ones, but that’s so hard to do when we’ve been made to be scared of them.
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Post by James on Oct 10, 2017 16:26:24 GMT 10
We’re to wake up to the truth that we are. We are realise how fucked we are and accept it.
We can’t change ourselves - we’re not meant to change ourselves, that’s using our mind. We’re simply to allow ourselves to be as we are, whilst waking up to the whole truth of what that really is.
But what happens when what you see about yourself you don’t like - hate? What do you do then? And what happens when you’re so angry about being fucked and wrong and false and not a nice true and perfect person? How can you accept that that’s how you are when you’re so angry about it and don’t want to be that way? Am I to be angry about being so fucked and scared forever? Yet being angry hasn’t helped me change myself - it’s not worked.
And being angry, all you can do is keep expressing that anger and longing to the Mother and Father to show you the truth of yourself, your feelings - your anger. And perhaps one day you’ll express all the anger out of you, you’ll give up being angry because you no longer feel it, and then you can fully accept your miserable, scared, pathetic self.
Our Healing is accepting ourselves how we are in our falseness. Finding out all about it through our feelings and coming to terms with how we are, that we’re a product of being unloved - this is me, fucked and all.
AND THEN WHAT HAPPENS? Are we to stay that product and in the whole truth of it forevermore?
Well God - what about it?
And we have to wait and see what happens when we are fully true and fully accepting of our unloved state. And we believe, hope, that at some point our full transformation occurs enabling us to give it up completely as we become Celestial - of a Celestial level of truth if we’re still on Earth.
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