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Post by James on Apr 10, 2014 18:06:06 GMT 10
82. We must ‘die’ first. Friday, 6 November 2013
Mary, it dawned on me today, that if as you and Jesus say we become of the new birth, are born anew, because of partaking of the Divine Love and doing our healing, then we must also first die, the old way we are must die to give over to the new. I know it sounds obvious and I’m sure we’ve talked about it before, however it struck me this morning listening to how Marion was saying she was feeling, and how we’ve both been feeling of late, that it’s as if in many ways we are dying, not so much in the physical, although that is certainly slowly down, but our old negative and evil state is dying leaving us feeling unable to do anything as we’ve done before. We’re both giving up so many things all the time now, only to find we have nothing to replace them, we’re giving up beliefs and behaviours, we’re stopping doing so many things we used to do, we don’t want to have other relationships with anyone, not even have anything to do with anyone; giving up everything so it would seem other than our bad feelings, as we’re just being left with them, they being all our early lives consisted of.
That’s right James, all your falseness, all that’s untrue within you is going, and so your evil way of being is dying, you can’t sustain it as you used to, the things you once needed to do - believed you should do, and were expected to do, you no longer can do, nor want to do. It’s all fading away, just as it can happen when you physically die, just slowing down to a state of nothing, with no inspiration, no motivation other than to just keep accepting how you feel and speaking about such feelings to uncover their truth.
It’s so difficult to just let go and allow yourself to be nothing - the nothing we feel we are. And yet we can’t do otherwise, we can’t do all those things we used to do to pretend we were something - someone. So we’re faced with just becoming more of a nothing useless thing by the day, with less and less meaning, no future, not even any desire to want a better future - nothing. Just two blobs, one tall and slightly overweight around the belly department, the other small and all but skin and bone. We have all but died except we’re still breathing and eating, shitting and sleeping, and talking about all our nothingness. Talk about being reduced down to ones component parts - the lowest common dominator. We’re grinding to a halt. And then we read about all these people who have so much in their lives, full of births and deaths, all being able to cope and deal with it all, all dealing with the complexities of their relationships, whereas we just keep slogging away trying to express all we feel, that being the whole basis of our lives.
Those people are not striving to live true James. You and Marion no longer are living that sort of life.
We never lived it anyway. We both tried, and believed we should be able to do it, but we failed, we couldn’t have a loving stable relationship with secure jobs, a house and family - children; god we’d both have died had we had to suddenly start dealing with children, Pots was enough for us.
Your lives were never to be normal James, this being what you’re slowly coming to understand. Your life conspired to stop you being like most other people who can do it all and seemingly with ease. You were to go a different way, that being the ‘Way of the Spirit’; you were both to embark upon the ‘Quest for Truth’. You were both to do your healing as you are doing it; you were both to end your evilness whilst still of flesh - that still being in your future. You are both to live a ‘New Way’, so nothing you will do, nothing about how you live, will be comparable to what’s considered the norm. Your new way is the way of the future, but a future well in humanity’s future, one when the majority of people are striving to live true to themselves doing their healing, and no longer want to be a successful normal person in the evil. Because what sort of success is that? That is still merely living on killing your soul, it’s a slow soul-death, whereas what you are both striving to do is heal your soul, bring it back to life - fill it with light from the truth you are revealing to yourselves through your feelings. Only to heal your soul from its descent into oblivion, you are having to stop being false. So it seems like on the surface you are dying, as in giving up your negative state and wrongness; however truly, on a deeper soul level, you are stopping your soul from dying and plunging headlong to oblivion, you are bringing yourself out of your inner darkness, bringing to light the true and real you, which is your new birth - the new birth of the soul. Hence you are being ‘born anew’. And slowly, as such things need time to come to fruition. And you both feel yourselves changing deep within, and even though your physical body and the other parts of you seem to be fading away and breaking down, still the inner you is growing in the light of your newly emerging truth, and one day soon that light will be too bright shinning through your physical and all other levels taking you fully out into the world expressing your healed soul, your new birth having being completed.
Yeah well Mary, every time to talk like this it sure sounds good. But how I’m feeling right now, as how I’ve felt all the other times you said such things, is shit, and like my healing will never end. And I’ll be reduced to a pulp, screaming mess of nothing-
And yet feeling really good about it!
Well I’d sure like to feel good - always good; and more than just the few minutes I do feel good every now then. And it’s becoming clearer - and how many times have said that now - that my healing is about seeing how I am - how I really am. By stopping doing and thinking all that keeps me feeling how I really am, and then just seeing - this is me. And this is me in my nothing evil negative state. This is how they (my parents) made me be. And seeing and knowing it’s true. I am my parents creation on one level, my true Parents creation on a deeper level. We the children don’t and can’t do it all ourselves, we can’t bring ourselves into life by ourselves. And we can’t remain unaffected by our parents, removed from them, we are absorbing all they are all the time through our forming years, this much I know now. I was reading where two men were saying it’s not genetics that controls us - our upbringing or coming into being, it’s our own minds, we do it all for ourselves by reacting with the environment. But I disagree, because it’s all really our soul that does it all for us, that utilises all that’s at its disposal, so the environment and the genetics and everything we are so as to experience the desired experiences to generate the desire feelings so we can use them to uncover the truth of our soul.
That’s right James, it’s all your soul, your soul driving your personality expression in Creation.
Mary I’m tired again tonight, too much sun at the Bush Bank this morning. It was our first hot day for months, and we only get one, then it’s back down to cooler weather for the next week. Anyway, I’m sure you’re not interested in our weather so I will say thank you once again for being there so readily for me, and coming whenever I have the desire to write.
Not a problem James, and we’re interested in all you’re interested in, so even the weather if it’s making you feel feelings so you can express them to uncover their truth. Speak to you soon James. Goodbye for now - Mary Magdalene. Yes, I felt like doing a full sign off for you tonight James, all to help your mind stop tying to be attuned to me once I go.
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Post by James on Apr 11, 2014 18:12:04 GMT 10
83. Posting Mary’s and Jesus’ messages Thursday, 7 November 2013
Hello Jesus; as you know, I’ve been posting some of your messages to James Padgett on the Before It’s News website, the site I posted yours and Mary’s messages to me. I had thought that they might attract more attention, as the number of people visiting BIN has tripled since I posted your messages, and as they were not written through me, people might have been more interested. I hadn’t thought about this before I posted them, but it occurred to me today it was like an experiment, and I have to conclude that very few are going to be interested in anything you said with James Padgett or through me, having seen how few people visited my posts on BIN. So I don’t expect anyone to come to my websites, or join my new DLS forum, just perhaps the odd curious person, but I would be very surprised now if anyone actually took any of it seriously. And although some people are obviously reading your messages to James Padgett as there is a very slow number of people joining one of the main Divine Love forums, but as it’s such a lame forum concerning anything to do with the truth, and personally I find it so uninspiring, so I’m not surprised that so few people have much interest in it. So all in all I’m back where I was a few months ago concluding that I can’t see humanity ever doing anything more than a few people longing for the Divine Love, but as for them doing their healing, I’m sure no longer holding my breath waiting for them to show up.
As we’ve told you James, our age is one in which humanity is to deny Mary and myself, so such denial will continue right to the end of it. So your observations and by ‘testing the water’ with the Padgett Messages on BIN are showing you the truth of this. And besides, it’s not time yet for humanity to start to consider its future seriously, it still has to wake up to and accept to some degree the fact that it’s not loving, that all it’s doing is destroying nature and itself, and that the powers that be don’t care about the people, just as parents don’t truly care about their own children. It all has to come ‘down to the wire’, and the Great Squeeze will be on. Humanity has to be forced into a hole - backed into it, and then forced past its ability to fight back by continuing on as it has done denying all it feels.
It has to be crushed you mean, like get a brick in its face.
Yes, exactly, that experience which you are very familiar about. And it won’t be long now before it happens. The warning signs are flashing but the real beginning is still a little way off. And so whilst that is all building up, so you and Marion will continue with your healing. And should you feel to keep posting your work, then you will, and those people needing it will see it. But it’s all still within Mary’s and my age, and so nothing on the level of truth so far as people sincerely wanting it is going to change very much. It might look like it in certain areas superficially, but not on deeper levels. And it’s all good for you to understand this, to understand how these things happen - how the technical ages of spirit, of light, come and go, and nothing can interfere with them. They are of and from the Father and Mother, and so humanity being Their child will move along as all children move along in their development with their parents. A child’s development as guided and fully orchestrated by its soul occurs in stages, technical stages, or stages of light. And your adult life also occurs in technical stages, carrying on from your childhood ones. And it’s the same for all of you, it’s the same for all of us in Creation, Creation coming into being in such technical stages. And one day humanity will understand this and stop thinking it knows better than God, thinking it can grow up and be God. Which is the same that you do growing up and believing you’re better than your parents, that you know better than them, playing god to your own children.
Well I feel resolved about it all now Jesus, I am no longer hoping people will be more interested in it all, even just on the level of wanting to discuss some of what I write. I’m back to where I started from, just focusing more on myself and my own healing, seeing how this makes me feel.
Which is all you can do James. And you will continue to do as you feel, and that will give rise to certain feelings as all experience does; and from such experiences you can grow in truth as your feelings reveal it to you. It’s all very simple really, and you don’t have to worry about the goings on in the world or anywhere else for that matter, you only have to concern yourself with your own feelings - that’s all life is meant to be about. And in doing so, you will grow in accordance with the needs of your soul, and ‘All Will Be Revealed’, and, ‘All In Good Time’... However, should you feel concerned with humanity as it makes you feel bad, then you know what to do with those bad feelings...
Yes Jesus, thank you.
It’s my pleasure James. Those people who are so fixed on and in their religious beliefs are not going to relinquish them for fear of having nothing to replace them. Most people of Mary’s and my age James, those currently on Earth and those still to come before its completion, are destined to move into the mansion worlds none the wiser as to the plight of their soul, and just as have countless spirits throughout our age done, work their way through the mind mansion worlds until their soul starts to point them in the direction of the Divine Love healing worlds, or the Feeling-Healing sectors that will be made available to them when the next age begins should they want to do their healing without the Divine Love. It’s not for them to begin their healing now on Earth, because they are to experience the fullness of denying Mary and I right through their whole physical life. So nothing you or I or anyone else will say is going to change that, because that’s how it’s meant to be for them, it’s what God wants for them, it’s what their soul needs. And so as much as you or anyone else, even Mary and myself, might want to help such people and mind spirits, it’s none of our business, it’s all in the hands of the Mother and Father. So there is no point in trying to sway or convince anyone as to the error of their ways, they will have to come to see it for themselves. It’s just for all of us who are more aware to continue freely and truly expressing ourselves for ourselves so we can grow more in truth, that being all anyone can do. And to conclude, to give you one more thing to think about, if someone does sincerely want to do their healing and grow in truth through their feelings, they will have to accept all you are saying and come to it through you, which is really through you and Marion. Because as we’ve told you, Mary and I can’t reveal it ourselves, so people can’t and haven’t been able to come directly to us for us to reveal such truths. All we’ve been able to do for them is to help them further their evilness and truth denial, even by telling them about the Divine Love. And all because it’s not that we want them to become more evil, but it’s just that we know they will take all we say the wrong way, using it to further their evilness. So our hands are effectively tied because we didn’t take on the evilness and heal ourselves of it, so we can’t reveal its truth. We can only do so through the likes of you and Marion, but we couldn’t do it directly ourselves.
I understand what you’re saying Jesus, and it has helped me put it more into perspective.
Good. So I will leave you now and we’ll speak later. Jesus.
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Post by James on Apr 12, 2014 21:03:24 GMT 10
84. Satan bound up and loosed again. Saturday, 9 November 2013
Jesus, this business of Satan being bound up for 1000 years and then let loose again, that’s something of what in a symbolic is way going to happen during the next spiritual age, isn’t it?
Yes. What Satan symbolically represents - the negative and so evil influences you are suffering under, will effectively be limited because of the Divine Love still being available through the next spiritual age of 1000 years, so symbolically you could say Satan will remain bound. However of course people and the mind spirits will still be free to evilly influence each other, but the higher spirits - the Evil Ones, will have nothing further to do with humanity. So the Lucifers, Satans, Caligastias and Daligastias are now all detained on their prison world sector, never to be turned loose again on humanity. They will all be held on their prison world until there is no longer any trace of the Rebellion in Nebadon. The Lucifers and Satans personal roles influencing humanity ended with Mary’s and my coming to Earth, the Caligastias and Daligastias ending upon the arrival and say so of the Avonal pair. However their evil legacies still continue to influence you all, through your own negative and evil states of mind and will, and through the ongoing influence from the mind spirits who also are still bound up in their negative states. Then as you now also understand, because of the direct influence of the Avonal pair, which will be for the next Spiritual Age of 1000 years, the Divine Love will continue to be made available by the Mother and Father for those people and mansion world spirits who long for it. So by doing this, effectively it could be said God is keeping the Evil Ones at bay, just as they have been kept at bay through Mary’s and my age, with the Divine Love being available. Rightfully, had the Avonal pair not come, the availability of the Divine Love would have been withdrawn at the end of Mary’s and my age, the Divine Love being part of the gift to humanity to do with Mary’s and my coming. And those people who have longed for the Love, have done as we’ve said, even unconsciously, have in effect, kept the continuing influences of the Evil Ones at bay for themselves, for when such people come into spirit, they will mostly because of the Divine Love influence in their soul, move to the Divine Love mansion worlds and possibly start their healing. However it’s not that people who have partaken of the Divine Love are then automatically protecting themselves from such evil influences (other people, themselves, and the mind spirits), for they are themselves still furthering their own evilness by using the Divine Love against the truth if they are not doing their Soul-healing, but still on a technical level they are protecting themselves because of the Divine Love and so have at least taken the first step to end their own rebellion, their soul now having been granted immortality as a consequence of the Love within it. And all they need do is embrace the doing their healing. You see James, people and the mind spirits being in a negative state of mind, so being in rebellion and being evil, have not chosen soul immortality yet because they have not partaken of the Divine Love, and so technically are still heading toward annihilation, the end result of all that is evil and devoid of true love.
Yeah I sort of see what you’re saying Jesus. So partaking of the Divine Love is like receiving a stay of execution. You’re not out of the woods yet, and won’t be until you do your healing, and are still furthering your evilness using the Love; but because your soul is now immortal, you can’t be annihilated. So it’s just a matter time before you do your healing and consciously start to end your evilness and stop using the Divine Love to further advance it.
Yes.
So when the Avonal’s age ends, the Divine Love is to be withdrawn even though their Spirits of Truth will still available along with yours and Mary’s, so people will then be free to choose to either continue to be in their negative states or to do their feeling-healing and become of positive mind and will and perfect natural love. And then to await the rebestowal of Divine Love. So symbolically speaking, with the Divine Love available the Evil Ones can’t ‘possess’ or ‘capture’ or ‘take over’ the souls of those people or mansion world spirits who partake of it.
Yes, and of course no one can actually possess or take the soul of another as your italics indicate, but people who have partaken of the Divine Love are ‘protected’ from being evil for all eternity because they have been granted immortality. Whereby in theory, those people who are evil, and refuse to partake of the Divine Love, and when it’s withdrawn and refuse to do their healing, can, should they so choose, potentially remain evil forevermore. And I say potentially because it’s only a theory, we’re not there yet to see if it is what the Mother and Father will allow. But getting back to Satan being unleashed at the end of the next age, that’s not going to happen, but the potential of being rebellious remains, and remains stronger because there will not be the Divine Love available to grant immortality, and so in a way, ‘limit ones downside’, ones fall into darkness. So you could say the bonds of evil will be loosed again.
So at the end of the next age, those people who don’t want to do their healing, can... what, move deeper into their evilness?
Yes, potentially they will be able to. However it will not be as easy for them as it now for people and the mind spirits, because there will be many people having done their healing and striving to do it who will condition the amount of darkness tolerated. They will not interfere with such people should they wish to continue being evil, but as to how they live being true to themselves will limit and restrict what those still wanting to be evil will be able to do.
So really this supposed prophecy of you coming again and binding up Satan and throwing him in the pit or however and whatever you’re to do, with him there to stay in chains for the next 1000 years, is not actually you and Mary, but the Avonal pair.
Yes, that’s right James, it’s all mixed up. The ‘Christ’ is returning to do that to Satan and save the true believers (people who are doing their healing and willingly follow Mary and myself as we’ve revealed through you James) and start the next age, the Christ being the Avonals for they too are Spirits of Truth - Christs. So people should be looking for them, not for Mary and I. We’ve already returned to re-reveal the essential truths concerning the Divine Love as I said I would (at least I have), imparting such truth to James Padgett. And we’re still doing it, and Mary is having her say finally through you.
All right, but still I don’t understand why the availability of the Divine Love is to be removed at the end of the Avonal age whilst their Spirits of Truth remain, surely the two go hand in hand?
Ordinarily they do, however it’s important for humanity to choose once and for all should it remain evil or not, and to choose without any higher help in the form of the Divine Love supporting or underpinning it. Humanity will still be able to have the support of the Spirits of Truth so people will be able to heal themselves of their evilness should they wish, but a ‘settling’ time will need do to occur to bring humanity gently back into its natural love perfection and all through its own doing. You can liken it to your own healing James, for although you are partaking of the Divine Love, still it’s not actively acting upon your soul removing your evilness, it’s simply waiting for you to perfect your natural love so then it can act. So it will be the same for humanity. And humanity will need time to wait, to really digest all its been through and so thoroughly choose as to whether or not it wants to remain evil. And were the Divine Love still to be available, then it would not have that time, which is a very important part of its growth and spiritual evolution, because people would be wanting to quickly get on with their ascension and the transformation of their soul. This time without the Divine Love will be a growing up time for humanity, a chance for it to make up for what it’s missed out on because of the Rebellion; a time to experience its own true goodness and to decide if it really does want to rejoin the fold, or continue to live against the Mother and Father, Mary and myself, the Avonal pair - truth and love. And it will also be a very important time in the mind mansion worlds, for spirits in them to also choose if they wish to remain evil. And a time for them to transform those worlds to reflect and express the true inner beauty of natural love, as will those people on Earth not wanting to remain evil also seek to transform Earth back into alignment with nature. And it will be a healing time for the whole planet with a lot of help coming from healed mind spirits. Everything is to turn towards love and truth, ending humanity’s living against it. And even though the healed spirits will not immediately be able to enter the Celestial spheres and will have to tarry for a time in the mansion worlds until the Divine Love is re-bestowed, still it will be a wonderful and completely fulfilling and very special time for such spirits and people on Earth, for there will be much learning and growth to be had about themselves and nature and all that natural love is - all that’s been denied because of the Rebellion and Default. Natural love is not meant to be dismissed as being inferior to the Divine Love, it’s meant to be loved and celebrated for the magnificent expression of light and truth that it is. And so this time in humanity’s evolution will be for the full understanding, expansion and expression of that.
That all sounds good. So, if it’s the Avonals who are coming to ‘save’ humanity, then it’s the people who want to do their healing that are the ones who are going to be saved - saving themselves.
Yes, those people who believe in what the Avonals are saying, and of course not those people who only believe in what the Bible says are the ones who’ll be saved. And as you said, all by saving themselves through the truths coming from their feelings.
And so it’s the Avonals who will in effect be taking those who follow them off to the ‘Promised Land’.
Yes, that being, they will be showing them the way to begin their ascension to Paradise - the true Promised Land - by showing them how to do their healing; or at least, telling them what’s involved and how to go about it. And those people who listen to them and do their healing will when healed be able to link up fully with Mary’s and my Spirits of Truth - in effect, with us - and so we can then, effectively, take over from the Avonals, directing them Heavenward to Paradise, through Nebadon and beyond. This being what happens when they are of a Celestial level of truth, having fully healed themselves.
So the truth about the Avonals has been hidden, by putting you in its place.
Yes.
Was that done on purpose; was the truth about the Avonals coming to Earth ever predicted or part of a prophecy?
No, not directly. It was all confused and poorly understood, although my saying the Christ would return, is a veiled reference to the Avonals coming, as well as saying personally what I would be doing. The Avonals could not be known about, their coming having to comply with the evil conditions humanity would be living - the complete rejection of truth, so they were not to be revealed ahead of time as they are the way for humanity out of the darkness, and not Mary and I, as we’ve told you. And so because at this, the end of Mary’s and my age and being the beginning of the Avonals age with humanity at its most evil, it would be the last thing humanity wants, the light of truth coming amongst them, not in any way being able to openly and lovingly accept or receive such a pair of truth as the Avonals. So in keeping with this, and so as to maximise the Avonals experience of feeling completely unloved which they are to heal, nothing was said specifically about their coming. Really by the time Mary’s and my age ends, humanity will be rejecting the truth the most since its rebellion, so in that light it’s the worst time for the Avonals to come because potentially no one will want them, no one (technically no one, however in reality a few) will want to listen to what they say and then do their healing.
So they really do have a thankless task.
In that light, yes, however for them to heal themselves of their evilness within humanity’s greatest expression of such untruth, and irrespective of humanity’s complete rejection of the truth, is what will be the turning point for humanity, as there will be some people who don’t want to keep going being evil, and will want to heal themselves, so listen to what the Avonals have to say.
So the Avonals are really coming in the thick of it all, sort of like getting pushed in at the deep end.
Yes, up to their eye-balls in evil themselves and surrounded by it. And so having to deal with all of that, is all part of what’s involved in their healing, all to be reflected in their Spirits of Truth.
So as you said being surrounded by it all, meaning collectively as that’s how humanity is, and personally as to be represented by the AntiChrist, he, or they being symbolically the most evil pair.
Yes. And also, and more importantly, very personally - the most personal, being surrounded by the antichrists as represented by their parents. And so you will have existing together on the world, the most evil and untrue and the most good and true. And so people will be able to choose. However it won’t be that they will be in the same place geographically and sort of fighting it out as many might like it to be, but it’s what the words convey, the true intent spoken, that is what will ring true for those seeking the truth, or ring true for those seeking to continue in their evil states.
You mean, the people will who want to remain evil will like what they hear from the AntiChrist, and those people wanting to live true will like what they hear from the Avonals - the Christs.
Yes, each to their own, and all will be free to choose. And by the end of their age, all will have chosen.
Hmm... Thank You Jesus, all of this has been floating around in the back of my mind for some time now, and I’m glad it’s all finally come out. It’s difficult to understand, I’ll have to re-read it, it will probably confuse people more than help them understand.
It doesn’t matter James, you’ll be able to present it so it’s understood by those people who might want to understand about such things. And for those people who don’t but just want to get on with their healing and living true to their feelings, it won’t matter anyway.
Yeah well I want to understand it. Less and less am I concerning myself with other people and trying to hope they will understand it. I’m just wanting to sort myself out, and my understanding the technical side of things seems to be going hand in hand with my healing - the more I progress the more you and Mary are forthcoming about it all.
That’s how it goes James. Mary and I only helping to put into words that which is already inside you.
Jesus, I’ll let that all sit for a few days then go over it and see how I feel about it all, see if there’s more I need to ask you.
No problem James, I’ll be here.
Thank you Jesus.
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Post by James on Apr 13, 2014 18:29:03 GMT 10
85. Compensation for pain caused Sunday, 17 November 2013
Mary, Marion and I have been discussing various aspects of compensation one might have to experience should one not take full responsibility for ones pain. What I mean is, for example, suppose you kill someone causing them a lot of pain together with all the other people you actions might negatively affect. Then you have to pay for that pain you have caused, compensate for it, so you can know through your experience of that pain, what pain you’ve inflicted on others. And when you know, then your compensation is complete. This also being what one might call ones redemption. And one could go through this process in prison and so on Earth, or if not, then in the hell worlds in the Earth planes in spirit. But what’s new for me, and what I want to talk with you about, is what Marion said: that the pain we inflict on others is only the pain we are feeling in ourselves yet refusing to accept. By our killing someone else, our taking out our pain on them, we’re running away from ourselves, from the truth of why we are feeling so bad, that which we’d see if instead we decided to use our pain to uncover the truth of it.
That’s right James, you can only to do another what you are doing to do yourself, so, what’s inside you. And all the pain you will inflict on others will equal that amount of pain you have within you. And you can repeatedly refuse to take responsibility for it by not doing your healing, repeatedly inflicting it on others, but still it’s all your own pain.
So Mary, say you killed five people, causing them lots of pain and all who are involved with them, does that mean you’ve expressed one fifth of your pain with each other them, or that you’ll have to compensate for 25 times the pain of yourself?
I doesn’t work like that James. It’s determined by your soul, how the Mother and Father want you to express yourself, and it will all be based on the patterns of your early life. However overall, all the pain you have caused another will be that amount of pain contained within you relevant to such actions, but it might not be the sum total of all the pain you feel, only one part of it that you’re outwardly expressing by such gross will infringement on another. And so you might with one person express a part, then with another person another part, and so on, yet all different amounts; but yes, as you say, in the end, were you to able to keep going, which might entail interfering with a vast amount of people, all adding up to the amount of pain you are refusing to express within yourself, which is that amount of pain your parents will have denied you expressing. They will have stopped you expressing such pain, yet also giving you other outlets and beliefs and impressions as to what it acceptable for you to deny your own pain, with such outlets being represented in your actions against other people. You parents might not exactly condone killing another, telling you it’s good to do it, but in all sorts of ways they might convey that impression to you. For example, they might support you in killing animals openly or covertly or even unconsciously through what they say to you, how they react to certain situations, what they allow in your life, that you will take on as being the right way to live, so helping you develop an unconscious belief that it’s okay for you to take another’s life. It’s all very complex as you understand, and it’s hard to talk generally about it, it all being highly personal, and it’s also very easy for the reader to misconstrue that which I’m trying to say. However such are the limitations of our communication.
I understand what you’re saying Mary. I’ve seen through my healing how complex it all is, and how I’ve taken on and formed countless beliefs I’ve not been aware of through being with mum and dad and everyone else in my early life. I’ve taken a bit from here, a bit from there, how they reacted in this situation, how they didn’t react the same way when it came around again, what was not said yet unconsciously inferred, how people in books and on television reacted in situations, my absorbing overall impressions about life and how I’m meant to be - what is right and what is wrong. So I can understand how, someone with the input in their lives, ends up being able to kill someone else, it all being there in their forming years, and all being able to be seen should they want to see it through the doing of their healing.
Yes, that’s right, it is all there, you are it, it is you, and it can’t be any other way. But getting back to the pain, what you said is the most important part of it, that being, realising that you are in pain, even if you have to look to the pain you are or have inflicted on others because you are so out of touch with it within yourself. And then allowing yourself to fully acknowledge and feel such pain, which will be equal to all the pain you’ve inflicted on others. And to see that you can’t inflict pain on others unless you’re already inflicting it on yourself; unless it’s all already been inflicted on you by your parents and early carers. You begin life as a child that is growing and absorbing all of its surroundings, it’s not fully formed, not an adult, so it can only be, and so become, all that goes into it. It can’t be of more pain that it received, than it was made to feel, and so consequently it can’t inflict any more pain on others than the pain it has within it. And even though on the outside such actions of causing mass misery might lead one to ask just how could one individual have so much pain within them and not just disintegrate with it, it’s not like that, you can’t add up all the pain caused and say that equals all the pain within, not by adding it up and measuring it by using outside techniques such a ‘pain meter’. The pain within one, and the pain expressed on others is all controlled by the souls involved, it’s all very personal and has nothing to do with other people not involved.
So Hitler for example causing so much pain to so many people, didn’t have all that pain within him if one could measure such pain.
That’s right. It might sound contradictory, however he did have all that pain in him as he could only express that which was in him, however it was expressed unevenly through all he hurt, directly and indirectly. You might affect millions of people and yet have less pain within you than a person who only affects one person, or only themselves, with their pain. And many people have far more pain within them than Hitler or any convicted murder does, yet never express it outwardly taking it out on another person or creature, instead keeping it all repressed within themselves. And in fact, there is a balance for those people who can’t contain it and have to hurt others by having it out there for themselves and all to see, enabling them to deal with it, to accept it because they can’t avoid it, they can see by their own actions something is very wrong within themselves, so might be able to come to doing their healing sooner than those people who steadfastly refuse to acknowledge it within themselves, keeping it so heavily repressed, being unable to see they have such pain because they are ‘good’ people and not hurting anyone, and even to the point of never knowing they have such pain deep in their soul. And for such people who continue to pretend they feel good and happy, it may take them a very long time before they come around to wondering why they are not progressing as other people or spirits seem to be, why they are still all bound up in their minds refusing to look for the truth of themselves.
So you’re saying that possibly for some people who’ve had rotten time of it on Earth and in the hell planes, they might be able to come to doing their healing quicker not having such falseness to hide behind, thereby benefiting from the depravations they suffered by not having a ‘normal’ life, being able to get on and do their healing relatively quicker.
Yes, which then helps shed a little more light on the fact that possibly what you call having a normal life, feeling happy and good within an evil state of being, is not all it’s made out to be, and that in fact such a person or spirit might even be worse off, being so false and so cut off and disconnected from their deeper feelings, those they can so easily control and keep well under control. So the murder can’t control such feelings, can’t suppress them, and so has to look at his actions as he can’t get away from them. However of course there are still many murders who deny their actions living in a fantasy of themselves being good, but that will all soon get ground out of them in the hell planes should they refuse to face such truth about themselves during incarceration on Earth should they be convicted of their crimes. And also James, you can look at it from the victim’s side: being deprived of life by the likes of Hitler, the experience being traumatic and causing an amount of pain, pain that is also already within them, with Hitler helping them connect with it. And this might lead them to do their healing sooner than they might have done had they been able to keep up their falseness of not feeling bad and not having their life cut short by another person.
So a victim might in the end even be grateful for what happened to them.
Yes.
So Mary, someone could go to prison and not repent, not allow themselves to feel any of the pain they are feeling and have made others feel, having not compensated for their wrongdoing, and will then have to do so in the hell planes.
Yes, they’ll not be allowed entry in the higher mansion worlds until they’ve paid for their outward expression of their pain. That is the Law of Compensation, they have outwardly infringed against another’s will so will have to make amends for that, and one does that by feeling the pain and experiencing it in its fullness. So when you have felt your pain to the fullness of the pain you’ve inflicted on another, then you’ve balanced the books, then you’ve compensated, then you’ve taken responsibly for your actions, and then you are free to carry on with your life and granted entry into the mansion worlds.
And the person who doesn’t outwardly cross the line and hurt another - take their pain out on the other person, one who keeps it all suppressed, can die and move into the mansion worlds there free to carry on as they have been doing - still denying their own pain.
Yes, which is the current fate of most people when they die. Most people don’t readily cross the line causing another person such pain, they try to be good, loving and caring. But whilst one is of an evil state of mind and will, that means that you will be severely keeping repressed many of your own bad feelings, all of which will be hurting yourself further, adding to the pain inflicted on your by your parents. And that pain will accrue all having to come out through your healing. However because it’s all internalised, so you’re not penalised by having to spend time in the hell planes compensating for it. Your hell will be experienced more through your healing time. And those who have compensated in the hell planes, have only balanced the books for their adult actions, they too will still experience more ‘hell’ as they heal themselves in the healing mansion worlds, or as they do their healing on Earth. Their time in the hells in spirit or in the equivalent on Earth during which they compensate for such pain inflicted on others is NOT the doing of their soul- or feeling-healing you understand. It’s not the healing we’re speaking about through ones feelings - although feelings will of course be felt and even some truth uncovered. However should one choose to do ones feeling- or soul-healing then special consideration and arrangement will be made to achieve the compensation needed as you forgive yourself through your healing of all the pain you are causing yourself. Your healing activating the Law of Forgiveness.
Mary, why aren’t parents subjected to time in the hell planes for having hurt their children?
The hells only deal with adult to adult issues James. The parent child issues - love or no love - hate, are all dealt with through ones healing. The parent will take full responsibility for hurting its child through its healing, for then it will feel all the pain it caused its child to feel, as it will be all the pain its parents caused it to feel. So parents can ‘get away with the pain inflicted on their children’ only for so long, and only until they do their healing, feeling- or soul-healing. Of course parents can deal with such unlovingness and start to see and accept and seek the truth of their unloving actions and all they’ve subjected their children to at any time, not just when one formally decides to start ones healing. However it will be once one does formally start it, that the fullness of the pain and the truth contained within it will be able to come to light.
So what determines someone like Hitler taking out his pain on so many people, whereas another person might only ever murder or hurt one person - or no one at all?
That’s all to do with ones parenting, the patterns formed, which are formed of course all in adherence to ones soul. You see, certain souls have a role to play in affecting a greater number of people, something like on more of a collective level which will affect the whole or a great amount of humanity, whereas other people’s lives are more localised, effecting only a smaller and more personal level. It’s just the differences between us all, how the Mother and Father have made us all. And so accordingly, whether you express your denial of your pain by taking it out on one person, millions, or never showing anyone, not even yourself that something is very wrong within you, reflects all the differences of soul, the same as why some people have blue eyes and others brown. What you need for your souls growth you will have, be you a local murder or someone like Hitler, for in the end, irrespective of who and how many you might influence, it’s all for you - as it’s all always for you. And of course the same applies for the victim, it’s all for them, and as you and Marion are increasingly seeing, you are all victims irrespective of whether someone takes their pain out of you, or you are taking your pain out on someone else. The murder is to be pitied just as much as the good citizen who never breaks the law believing they have a good and happy life of love, when they too are still living confined within their evilness, trapped within their negative state, just as is the murder; and in many ways, because they don’t see the outward signs of such pain, might even be in a worse soul state than the person who is obviously very distressed, agitated and outwardly aggressive.
So the murder might be closer to his true feelings of feeling unloved because of being able to outwardly express some of his rage, frustration, hatred and anger, than say possibly the Judge sentencing him who does all he can to keep his pain and bad feelings suppressed and is considered very successful, he being so much better - ’successful’ - at keeping all his bad feelings well under control.
Yes. And you just can’t tell James, it’s all for each person to uncover the truth for themselves. For the Judge might not have as much rage and repressed hatred and anger in him compared to the one he’s sentencing... or he might... he might have even more. And the murder, seeming to have masses of pent up rage, hatred and anger, might find if given the chance to express it whilst looking to his feelings to uncover the truth of it, that actually he doesn’t have that much repressed after all, as all he had was more up within him and could more easily come out.
Yeah, I see what you mean Mary. Mary, I think that about does it, all I had in my mind. I’ll think about all you’ve said and see what then comes. So thank you again, and I go now.
Very well James, speak to you soon. Mary M.
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Post by James on Apr 16, 2014 15:22:03 GMT 10
86. Using the Divine Love to further advance your evilness. Sunday, 24 November 2013
Jesus, I was thinking about longing for the Divine Love, and how important it is should we not want to stay forever bound to the mansion worlds, and then I thought of all the people in the various religions who might have received some Divine Love because of their sincere inner longing to be at-one with God. And I thought how they with the Divine Love in their soul still carry on in their religions, and perhaps feeling even more conviction about believing all they do and more committed to their faith because of the presence of the Love in their souls. And then it occurred to me that for such people, the Divine Love coming into their soul is not healing them of all sin and error, for they maintain their steadfast beliefs in all their error. And they are not being led to do their soul-healing, nor to break down their minds control over themselves, so they are using the Divine Love to further their negative, sinful and evil state. So they are the same as those people we’ve talked about who do what you said to James Padgett, longing for and receiving the Divine Love, yet are also refusing to break down their minds control and do their healing, so who are also using the Divine Love to further their self and feeling denial. And that really the Divine Love, having readily been available and unconsciously longed for and received right the way through yours and Mary’s age, has not helped anyone do their healing, for had it, then surely by now they’d be accounts of people having done their soul-healing. So it’s now obvious to me that the Divine Love itself doesn’t affect ones healing or even make one start it, it of itself doesn’t have any such effect on a person who’s received it in a soul-healing sense.
That’s right James, it is as you say. All we’ve said about such Divine Love people, you can apply to religious or non-religious people who’ve partaken of the Divine Love. As we’ve said to you, unless one is looking to do ones healing with the Divine Love, one is only using it to advance their negative state. So all those people with it, yet who are using it to further their belief in such error, are using the Divine Love for their own self-gain.
I don’t know why this hasn’t dawned on me before, it’s now so clear. I’ve understood it, but kept the religious people with the Divine Love and the ‘Divine Love’ people in separate camps, but now I see they’re just the same. Really the Divine Love people are just trying to develop their own religion based around what you and the Celestials said to James Padgett. Just another religion of the mind.
That’s right, it’s just another version of the same thing. And each person will be offered the opportunity to move into the Divine Love healing mansion worlds when their time on Earth is over, there to be faced with the need to do their soul-healing should they want to progress up through the Divine Love worlds to the Celestial spheres.
Thank you Jesus, that’s all I wanted to say. I’ve had another one of those shifts in my orientation as to how I see such things, it’s all much easier putting such groups together this way. It all makes more sense.
It’s your mind continuing to sort such things out based on your evolving soul-perceptions, as you work your way through your healing James. You are to eventually arrive at seeing it how Mary and I see it, so such inner adjustments are always happening as you ascend. I’ll speak to you soon James. Jesus.
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Post by James on Apr 22, 2014 14:25:08 GMT 10
Speaking with Mary Magdalene and Jesus book 3 is now complete and available as a free pdf here
87. No crying for the criminal Tuesday, 26 November 2013Mary, Marion’s latest book she’s reading is about a woman who feels very bad about herself being full of self-hated, and is completely jealous and envious of a younger girl who’s fifteen years old, a girl who seemingly has it all - the full love and respect from her parents, all she wants, the boyfriend she loves, lots of friends, fully enjoying every moment of life. And having known the younger girl for some time and harbouring many horrible thoughts about her, asks her back to her flat and strangles her, later burying her body in the bush. And as we read these sorts of stories, as much as it is so terrible for every one of the victims family and possibly even the victim herself (although one can’t be sure unless one was to speak to her in spirit), no one feels sorry for the woman, she obviously being in such a bad state that she can take another’s life. As Marion pointed out, this woman obviously grew up feeling very unloved, and to such an extent that she is able to kill another person, so she’s had a terrible life, only to commit such a terrible crime and then be persecuted and locked away for the rest of her life, having only more of a terrible life. And few people feel any real sympathy for her and all she’s been through, for the shit time she had as a child, and now the shit time she has as an adult with the added burden of her crime weighing on her. And of course, we all should feel sorry for everyone involved, as we’re all so fucked in our different ways, so we all should feel sorry for ourselves. However we so much need to be able to blame and accuse someone, trying to feel more powerful because we feel so powerless, that we can’t allow ourselves to be sympathetic, as we’ve got no sympathy in us, as no one was sympathetic to us when we were growing up.It’s all so you don’t feel bad. To allow yourself to imagine how bad the murderess feels brings up too many bad feelings that are unwanted, so it’s far easier to identify with the victim, as there then seems to be a way to deal with your bad feelings at least, by as you say James, blaming the other person. Not to blame the bad one means you have to be in touch with your own feelings of feeling powerless and wanting to hit back at those you feel have power over you. And to understand how such self-hated can motivate you, if it doesn’t just consume you, with you destroying yourself. The further you and Marion progress in your healing, the more you are aware of such bad feelings in yourself. And so you lessen your need to blame, to gain power by blaming and accusing someone, such as in your cases, each other or even yourselves, so as to make yourselves feel like you have some power. But you can’t actually gain any power through blaming and accusing another person for being bad, even if they have done the bad thing, that is not the way to true empowerment. All you can do, as we’ve told you, is accept, express and seek the truth of your feelings. That is all you do whilst you’re of your negative states, because although your feelings might make you feel it’s all very straightforward - you feel (believe) you are to hate the ‘bad’ one, nothing is straightforward for you in your wrongness, nothing will be as it seems.I want to smash the bad person, even mum and dad, only as soon as I stop and start to think about why they were bad, then I can relate to them not feeling loved and respected, then my need to blame them decreases. But then I feel bad again, and whoosh, up comes my hated of them, and fuck feeling sympathy for them, I want to smash and kill and hurt and maim and make them feel as bad as they’ve made me feel.Which is all understandable James. And whilst you feel such anger and hatred you MUST keep on acknowledging it and expressing it as best you can, all whilst you long for the truth of all you’re feeling. And if you one day arrive at a point where you don’t feel hatred for them, and you no longer blame them, so you go with those feelings. And as you say, if then more hatred of them surfaces, then you go with those feelings. And one day you will no longer feel hatred for them, as you’ll no longer feel bad. And within you, they’ll no longer be hurting you, you having brought your truth out through your hurt and pain that was caused by them. And it will be the same with other people. You might hate the murderer and want to throw the book at them, consigning them to prison never to see the light of day, and so you go with those bad feelings expressing them all and seeking their truth. And then in the next moment, or the next day, or year or whenever, suddenly you might no longer have such feelings for them, no longer feeling hatred of them, no longer feeling threatened or scared of them, no longer feeling they have power over you - no longer projecting your parents power over you onto them. And so you won’t hate them anymore. And it’s the same if you feel such things about God. If you hate Him or Them, blaming Them for all the suffering you’ve been through, then you accept and express these feelings seeking the truth of them. And you keep expressing your hatred and anger and looking for the truth of it for as long as you keep feeling it. And one day when all the truth has come to light and all your repressed childhood feelings have been expressed out of you, that hatred will go. And it will all go, because one day you will be true and perfect and only of love, that day being when you start living your new life of a positive mind and will. But I stress again, IT IS VITAL THAT YOU ALLOW YOURSELF TO FULLY FEEL ALL THE BAD STUFF AS YOU FEEL IT; AND EXPRESS IT THE BEST YOU CAN TO YOUR FRIEND (or to God or write it down), AND LONG FOR THE TRUTH OF IT. For only by seeing, understanding and uncovering the truth of such feelings, will you be set free of them.I understand Mary. I am feeling myself changing, and things that I thought were black and white are now only grey, and even having colour added to them in some instances. So many things I thought and believed in, have gone altogether, simply no longer being part of my life, with other things I now know to be true replacing them. Mary, I want to ask you another question, but I’ll start a new ‘message’.Very well James, do you want to continue writing now?Yes, if you don’t mind.No, not at all, please continue.
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Post by James on Apr 23, 2014 18:31:46 GMT 10
88. Which comes first: emotions or thoughts? Tuesday, 26 November 2013
Which comes first: emotions or thoughts?
So Mary, how does it work, do our emotions or thoughts come first? Does one create the other?
Your emotions and feelings come first James, always; they always have for they are closer to your soul. You felt things through your forming years, even though when you were very young - in the womb, a baby and toddler, you weren’t able to know fully what those feelings and emotions were, but still they were fully present; and based on them, or around them if you like, so you formed your mind and it’s beliefs, your behaviour and your thoughts. You form into being, you could say, from your base chakra upwards and outwards, yet all being expressed from your primary will line as it is what actually comes into being first, it being what your soul manifests first so it can literally will you into Creation. So you have your will first, then your spirit body together with your upper (higher spiritual) and lower (more physically orientated) feeling (including your emotions) and mental system, and the subtle etheric systems that link them all. Then last your physical body manifests. So you have feelings that are comprised of one or various emotions. A feeling can be simple or complex. You can feel angry, but as you express the emotion of your anger, moving with it, it might lead you onto other deeper bad feelings. You have a whole subtle body full of emotions and the feelings they comprise, and so the more you express and grow in truth, the more complex your feelings become, the more passionate about your emotions and wanting to express them and allow yourself to feel them, you will be, and also the more familiar with them you’ll become, so they will seem in some ways, simpler.
Yeah, I know what you mean Mary. I’m not as yet very passionate about feeling and expressing them, although I am becoming more determined to let them be so I can express them, and I love it when the truth comes, but I’m still too afraid of them, I’m still uncovering the truth and understanding why I was made to be scared of them. But still, the more familiar I become with them, the more complex psychology is attacked to them, yet the simpler they are, or easier they are for me to recognise and acknowledge. Feelings and emotions I struggled with to identify years ago are now second nature, I can move with them straightaway going into deeper levels to see what they are showing me. Yet still however, there are lots of times when I feel bad and still can’t put my finger on the actual feeling, even when it’s just more anger or fear. And it takes time to work my way around into expressing them, just making a noise to start with, a groan or whimper before they start coming to life.
Those times James are when you’ve moved into yet another hidden place within yourself, and one you’re not familiar with, so it is as if you’re having to start all over again identifying your anger or fear and going from there.
Okay Mary, so if the emotions and feelings come first, then how come we live so much with our thoughts in control.
Because you’ve been made to, it’s as simple as that. You were forced to deny your feelings and their emotions by controlling that part of yourself with your mind. And how your mind takes over is then by creating other emotions and feelings for you, ones based on its controlling beliefs and your underlying self-denying and negative behaviour, that which you’ve developed through your early childhood. As soon as your parent or carer stops you from expressing a feeling or emotion, they are interfering with you by using their mind. And as you are absorbing them, coming into being, so you wrongly think and so believe, that how you are being treated is right for you, as if God has told you Himself. So you become as they are making you be, you follow them, doing and thinking as they are, so your mind takes over, following their mind as it imposed itself on you. And then once you’ve become untrue to your own feelings, now with your mind in control of that part of you, so your mind generates other feelings, and these you then feel and so believe to be what you’re really feeling. But what you are really feeling remains hidden, suppressed, and you’re no longer in touch with it, not even knowing such feelings exist within you. So your ‘false’ feelings as they could be called, although for all intents and purposes, they are still feelings - vital and strong and real feelings, are only being derived as a consequence of your controlling mind.
So as we are forced to deny feelings, our mind takes over, and in taking over, then generates other feelings, and these feelings we believe are our real and true feelings. And yet the are not our real and true feelings, only what we’ve been programmed to feel. So as we change our beliefs and behaviour through our healing, so we lessen our minds control over us, and so too lessen its generation of such ‘false feelings’, getting more in touch with our real and true feelings and being more free to express them.
Yes. And added to your mind taking over and to some extent creating feelings that will only serve to lead you further astray from yourself and not help you to come back to the truth of yourself, so too does you mind create corresponding thoughts. And often people who are more thought-orientated think their thoughts and mind is doing what it’s meant to do, be the controller, even be god, yet it’s an imposter, false and untrue, which your truer feelings will quickly point out to you should you look to them for the their truth.
So really once our mind has control, it doesn’t matter what our thoughts and feelings are, or which comes first, as they will only help us further our negative state.
That’s right. And so the only way out of your predicament, is to look to your feelings, even though they are being derived from your controlling mind, and express and seek their truth, as they will yield it to you. And slowly as you progress in your healing, your feelings will get closer and closer to being as you truly felt when the damage was being done, with your mind no longer in the controlling position. And so when you’re healed and true, then you’ll know and feel all your feelings and their accompanying emotions will be true, and your thoughts, beliefs and behaviour - even your body language, will also be true.
So our body language is untrue too?
Everything is untrue whilst you’re of your negative state James. And it will all change. You’ve seen how your body language is changing, it helping Marion to read you more so you can keep bringing up your repressed feelings. And you’ve been able to feel the changes in yourself.
Yes, I have. I only wish all the stuff I do that I don’t like and know is wrong would also hurry up and change.
It has to take time James, there’s an awful lot of inner and outer changes that need to take place. Your whole forming is a complicated business, and you have to be able to see what is wrong with how you are, and change it, and all incrementally so you don’t traumatise yourself even more than you’re already doing.
By which I take it you mean Mary, that every moment I remain in my negative state, in my traumatised condition of mind and will, I am adding to my distress and trauma.
Yes James. Being evil is traumatic. It’s not a good state to be in, it doesn’t make you feel happy, and it should make you feel very, very bad. So as you say, every moment you remain in your evilness, you’re only adding to your trauma, even if a lot of what you are doing to help yourself makes you think, believe and even feel, it is lessening your trauma or the impact of it. Everything you do in your self- and feeling-denying state is making things worse for you, every moment of every day. And the longer you remain in it, the harder it will be for yourself to heal yourself.
Mary, thank you once again. I’m going to stop there, I’m too tired to continue.
Very well James, speak to you soon - Mary.
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Post by James on Apr 24, 2014 17:59:45 GMT 10
89. Prayer to God for others - does it do any good for those you are praying for? Thursday, 26 December 2013
Mary, I’ve been thinking about praying to God asking Them to help or heal other people, such as Marion. And I’ve been wondering about whether it does any good, so I’d thought I’d ask you about it. Jesus and I talked about it some days ago, but as it’s still been on my mind I wanted to discuss it with you.
You are to do all you feel you want to do James, but as to whether or not you actually do it, is another matter. But what you can do is speak about all you feel to do with your desire to do it, to use your feelings to help you uncover your reasons for wanting to do it, the deeper motives that might be driving you. And whilst you’re in your negative state, there will also be deeper hidden reasons, that much you can be sure of. So if you feel to ask God to help Marion, then you fully acknowledge your desire to do it, speaking with her and expressing all you feel about it. Such as: why do you want to do it; what is making you want to do it; what do you hope to achieve by doing it; and how does such things make you feel. And further: what if what you ask for or ask God to do, doesn’t happen - how will that make you feel; what if it does happen - how does that make you feel; and how do you feel about asking God such things, do you feel good about it or bad; is it something that you’re feeling you naturally and spontaneously want to do, or is it something that you think you should do - and how do these things make you feel. All the while longing for the truth of such feelings.
I have been speaking and expressing all I feel to Marion, and one odd part that came to light was my belief that nothing will come of it, that I can’t pray to God asking Them to do something for me, because I have no right to ask; and also, who am I to tell God what to do. Marion pointed out that I am only asking, and asking is of course not telling, but for me the two go hand-in-hand, by asking I am not only telling, I am demanding. So by asking God I am telling God, yet I don’t expect God to do anything for me - to just do as I tell the Mother and Father to do. I could never tell mum and dad to do things, and they would happily do them. I expect them to say no. They did to the occasional thing I asked and they got me mostly what I did ask for, but still I have a deeper feeling of not to ask, so I hardly ever did. And as Marion said, that means you believe you are better or higher and more powerful than God by believing that you can influence God, even if you don’t believe you have any influence.
Yes, and that’s what it’s all about, uncovering the truth of such things within yourself. And this is all what’s important, not even so much your asking and prayer. It’s paramount that you heal yourself of your evilness, this being for everyone, so all your efforts should be to do just that. So when the subject of prayer comes up, when any subject comes up, there will be feelings and no doubt bad ones coming up too, so you can concentrate on them, irrespective of whether or not you end up praying. And as the truth comes to you through your feelings, so you’ll know what is best for you and what you should do; when and why, and all how you feel about it. It’s all about getting to know yourself James.
I understand that Mary, but so many things get in the way.
But they are only in the way because they are making you feel bad, so they are there to help you with your feeling expression so you can uncover the truth of such feelings.
Marion said that if you look at yourself as a young child, you had to ask for what you wanted, we do right from the very beginning and then all the way along, and so still being that young child even though we’re adults, we should still be asking. However as I was stopped from asking, and was made to just be happy with what I got and what happened to me, so I don’t see the value in asking, so what is the point of praying, of asking God, when I can’t even ask my parents.
And the point is that you are to uncover the truth of all of this through your feelings, all so you can understand more about your unloving relationship with your parents. And as you do, then you’ll become more true to yourself, so more truly as how a child is, so free in your feeling expression and being able to relate freely to your Heavenly Mother and Father as you should have been able to relate to your mother and father.
So does it do any good - prayer for someone else? I have found prayer for myself, asking the Mother and Father to help me, has worked, something always comes of it, even if it’s more bad feelings to express. And I have prayed to Them to help Marion, but I still feel its none of my business to interfere with what she’s going through. That I might stop her feeling bad, and as that’s not what she wants, as she’s determined to feel as bad as she does so she can become true to her untrue state and so hopefully heal it, then not do it. And then again she pointed out that God doesn’t have to do what I ask Them to do. We can all ask, must ask if that’s what we feel to do, but that doesn’t mean we’ll get what we ask for. I can ask her to do something for me yet she doesn’t have to do it, and it’s the same with God. Which I know is obvious, but it’s amazing how when you start dealing with such things all through your feelings, you have to go over it all, even if you do think you know it, because there’s always more to do with it. And as it’s turned out, I believed if I asked someone to do something for me, the HAD to do it - even God. Because when my parents asked me to do it, I had to do what they asked. I couldn’t say no. I tried and dragged me feet as much as I could, but still I had to do it; and do it their way, how they wanted it done, I wasn’t free to work out how to do it for myself.
You only ‘know’ it in your mind James, it all being things you’ve picked up along the way and made into beliefs. You don’t actually KNOW the truth that’s resulting from your feeling acceptance and expression. So you’re coming out of your mind and into your feelings, so you have to go over all the basics, breaking down your mind and moving to live it all spontaneously through your feelings.
But does it do any good, as I’ve not seen God helping Marion in response to my asking Them to.
It’s because you’re conditioning yourself as to what to look for as the answer to your prayer. As the Mother and Father have told you Themselves, They are helping you both to feel bad, accept those bad feelings, express them, and uncover the truth They want you to see resulting from them. So your prayers are being answered as this is really what you are praying for.
Yes, that does happen Mary. I don’t ask Them to take the pain away, I do ask Them to heal her. I no longer ask Them to make her or myself feel good. I long to feel good, and ask Them to help me with my healing like you said, but I’ve given up just asking them to fix me... however, no, that’s not being honest... I do ask them to heal me, to fix me, to stop me feeling bad and to take all my pain away, when I’m feeling very bad... but then I also ask Them to help me to bring up all my bad feelings so I can express them and make the pain go away that way, when the truth comes and I no longer need it. But Mary, what I was wanting to know, is, when I read of people praying to God to heal their sick mother for example, what happens then; and are those prayers beneficial or just a waste of breath, or something for the person doing the praying to feel good about. Just another way for them to deny their own bad feelings.
It’s all again about the feelings involved James. Is the person who’s praying doing so to make themselves feels better, to block out their own bad feelings. Are they praying wanting the person or pet they are praying for to block out their bad feelings, and so deny the one they are praying for the ability of using their feelings in a true way. The one thing through it all James concerning the Mother and Father is, in no way can you sway Them, They will always do what They want to do, and that will always be the best for all concerned, Themselves included.
Yes, I understand that Mary, it would be a poor show to think the Mother and Father would suddenly stop doing what They are doing all because I ask Them to. So if I wanted to pray to God asking Them to help Marion because she is sick, then provided my desire is genuine, I can ask, then see what happens... or ask, not even expecting anything to happen.
You can do either James, but all so long as you keep addressing all the feelings that come about through it all. It is all ONLY about attending to your feelings all the time - I can’t stress this enough, it’s about feelings, not outcomes; fully embracing them, expressing them, and longing for the truth you are to see from them. And you can of course ask the Mother and Father to help you to do this.
So it’s not about the result.
No, it never is, that part is not in your hands, that’s all God’s business. Your part, which is completely respecting yourself, is attending to your feelings all along the way and uncovering the truth they are to show you. That’s where you should be focused at all times in life. As to what happens or doesn’t happen, there will be yet more feelings to embrace, express and uncover the truth of. You were made to focus only on outcomes. And if you can see the outcome being negative - in your opinion, then what’s the point of doing it. And yet look at all the life you’ve been denied, all the bad feelings.
Yeah I know, every day I’m waking up to that more. I’m slowly understanding that I have missed out on so much, because as you say, I believe the outcome will be bad so I avoid doing it. And as I am expressing my way along and just taking things one feeling-step at a time, so many things I couldn’t see the point of doing because of bad outcomes, I can now see the point of doing, even if there is still a bad outcome, because everything creates feelings. And often the bad thing doesn’t happen, which is still very surprising for me because mum and Gran said it would, but now I’m finally finding out for myself that that’s not necessarily true.
That’s right James, mostly your world is outcome driven, with the desired outcomes making you feel better, which is understandable. But the further you’re moving along in your feeling acceptance, as bad as bad feelings make you feel, still you are seeing the value of them, even needing them to help you uncover the truth of your falseness and negative state.
Yes I am Mary, slowly. I still want to block them out, that’s still frustrating and Marion still has to pull me up on it, and I do find it hard to want to feel bad all so I can uncover the truth in me. I want to uncover it, but with good feelings, not always feeling so bad.
Yet it has to be through feeling bad James whilst you’re of your evil state, because evil makes you feel bad, it’s unloving, and that’s the truth of it you have to uncover for yourself. Because you’ve been programmed to wrongly believe being evil makes you feel good - when it doesn’t. So all your so-called good feelings, whilst being good feelings, are all founded on untruth, and are really all designed to make you feel even worse. They are not based on genuine love, so you have to keep wanting to feel bad, or at least allowing yourself to feel bad when you do, all so you can look to those feelings to help you understand yourself, understanding what’s really going on within you.
Well Mary, I’m just going to do what you say. I am going to pray for myself and anyone else should I feel that’s what I want to do, and then look to see why I feel that way and how doing it makes me feel. And even though I do of course want what I pray for to happen, still I understand all I can do is ask, the granting of my wish is not in my hands. The other thing that occurred to me when I was speaking about praying to Marion was that the Mother and Father might like me asking Them for things and to do things for me. I know at the Fishing Park with the little children, I loved it when they asked me for help or about things or whatever, I just loved the interaction with them when they so willingly included me. So perhaps God would like it to, and that by my not asking because I can’t see anything happening, I am depriving Them and myself such a nice experience.
More feelings for you to explore James.
Mary I like how you don’t just tell me the rules. For example: Yes, it is good to pray because...; or, no, it’s not good to pray because... I do appreciate how you always keep returning to the feelings and encouraging me to work it out for myself through my feelings.
It’s not for me or Jesus to tell you how to be James, I am not like your parents always telling you how you should be. I want you to work it out for yourself, there’s no value in it for me to do it all for you. I have my own life to live, my own feelings to accept, express and uncover the truth of. I don’t need to take over your life and do it all for you, it’s your life as strange as that might sound to you, so it’s all for you to do.
I wish you told that to my parents and they understood it. I detest how my parents and so many parents just believe it’s their right because they are the parents to control their children telling them how they are to be. I wish my parents had encouraged me to express my feelings and seek the truth of them, to find out such things for myself through my own feelings. Then I wouldn’t be so fucked up and confused about everything.
And like everything James, there is definitive answer to such things, as we are all always evolving and growing in truth. Truth is fixed and constant, however we are always evolving in it, we are always growing and advancing our souls in it, that being when you are striving to live true through your feelings. So as to your relationship with prayer, as with your relationship with everything, it’s always evolving, so really there’s no point in my just telling you a list of instructions about how you are to live in life. That, as you can see from the religions of your world, doesn’t work, just as you are seeing for yourself from the instructions your parents and grandparents gave you that didn’t work. Life is not about locking it all down, ritualising it, and dogmatically going about it all, all according to the rules of your mind. It’s a fluid feeling experience, it’s dynamic, never stagnant, even when like of late you’ve been feeling so bored.
I have Mary, and hating such bad feelings, yet within them I am still feeling and so moving as you say, that I know understand that even though I feel bored to tears so much of the time now.
All truer to how you felt with our parents James.
Yeah, I know, I can almost ‘taste’ being back with them during such bad feeling times. And I had no idea I felt so bored with them. Mary, thank you for your advice and insights again. I am looking forward to praying more to the Mother and Father. I can’t even ask Marion to do anything for me, so asking is a big thing for me. I still believe I should be able to do it all myself. But I can see how I’m denying our relationship by not asking, so it is the same with God by not asking Them - I just became aware of that as I wrote it.
And it’s true James. I’ll speak to you soon. Mary M.
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Post by James on Apr 25, 2014 17:58:11 GMT 10
90. Untrue and true feelings Wednesday, 1 January 2014
Mary, Marion was just saying that concerning memories of past good feelings, she no longer has any, because all she lived was untrue. And as she’s expressed all the bad feelings out of her to do with her untrue past, so all the good and bad feelings of the past have left her, leaving her feeling like that was all for a purpose back then, but of no relevance to her now. And as she was saying this, I understood what she meant, by: all her past feelings were based on her being untrue to herself, so there all really untrue feelings. And the more she heals herself the more true her feelings are becoming. And when she’s finally healed all of her being untrue, then all of her feelings will be truth as she is true. This all being what you have said about all what we call love to be in our negative state, it all being false, not being based on truth. That the feelings we have at the time are real enough, so ‘real love’, but all relative to and relevant for that time of being untrue. And so overall, not being real love feelings, so being false. And when we are true, so will our feelings of love be truly love, all being based on our true and perfect self.
Yes James, that about sums it up well enough. It’s what I mean when I say your feelings, good and bad, are all false and untrue whilst you’re in your untrue evil state of mind and will. For how can they be true when you are not true! They are good and bad feelings, sure, but as you said, all relative to your state of truth-denial, so in that context, are all untrue - or false. And as you said, just to repeat you, when you are fully healed and so living true to yourself, so too will all your good and bad feelings be truly expressed - so be true.
And will we still feel bad feelings in our true states Mary?
It’s possible, only not as you feel them now with them all being attached to deeply repressed bad feelings from your early life. But mostly you’ll only feel better and better about yourself, completely true and perfect, and so knowing that all your feelings of love, truth and happiness are real and true. You’ll truly be happy. It won’t just be a contrived show.
Thank you Mary.
Anytime James. Speak to you soon. Mary M.
91. Relationship difficulties. Saturday, 4 January 2014
Mary?
Yes James, go ahead.
I was just speaking with Marion about relationships and what I’m seeing about myself currently, and I wanted to ask you about it. It’s still a bit confused in my mind, but I’ll see if I can say what’s on my mind. Today expressing my bad feelings led me to see that really I am scared of Marion - completely, and so scared that I am terrified that as soon as I open my mouth she is going to growl at me, yell at me, scream and rage at me, criticise me, reject me, chastise me, tell me not to say what I did or not do what I’m doing, crunch me, and so much so that I feel like I’m going to die - be crunched out of existence. (All being a great basis for our relationship!) And I think it’s the same if I do anything near or with her, or even look at her, I am scared she’ll react in the same way, which always all amounts to my getting the brick in my face, that experience always comes back to mind and all the problems it caused me when it happened at the kinda all those years ago. It was something of a shock today seeing that I am terrified of being hurt, not so much physically, but emotionally and spiritually, by my wife. The one person in the world I think I love and want to be with - share my life with; the one woman I chose out of all other women, I’m the most afraid of. I mean, how fucked is that! And I can see that it’s not actually Marion herself the person that I’m scared of so much, but it’s mum, dad and Gran whom I’m projecting onto her that I’m scared shitless of. But still, it doesn’t do much for the relationship.
Oh but it does James, it does a lot, because you are coming out, you are becoming truer to what you really do feel. And Marion understands that it’s not personal, it has nothing actually to do with her, it all having to do with your parents. But still, Marion has all the patterns in her that make you feel bad. She actually has all the opposite patterns to you, but as you express yourself and interact with her, she reacts accordingly expressing her patterns, and because they are not actually as your parents patterns are, so you feel bad, because Marion actually isn’t doing to you what your parents did to you. She is only being something like a mirror to you, reflecting yourself back to you, so she is not actually making you feel bad, you are yourself, you are making yourself feel bad by using her to do so.
You’re making my mind hurt, it’s twisted up enough as it is Mary. I feel demented enough all the time, but I think I get what you’re saying. So I have all my unloving patterns still in me, and everywhere I am and in every interaction, I’m not really with that person but still back with my parents. So I actually expect Marion to treat me as my parents treated me. But she doesn’t because she’s not them. So then I feel bad about that because I can’t slot in pretending I’m alright like I learnt to do with my parents. So in fact I feel bad. So in fact Marion does make me feel, or helps me feel how it actually was with mum and dad, as they did make me feel bad and I can’t pretend otherwise.
Yes that’s right. So in a negative way Marion is giving you what you expect by making you feel bad, and as you use these bad feelings to lead you back to your parents, sort of like going back and being face-to-face with them, so you can see what is really going on between you both - how they really treated you and how it made you feel.
So I met Marion thinking one thing, that my relationship was about one thing, and yet it’s turning out it’s about something else altogether.
Yes, because you were living against your soul. And now your soul is bringing you back to the truth, and so you’re seeing the truth of your relationship with your parents through Marion - or with her help. So today you felt very scared of her when you spoke, and as you expressed your fear you can then feel that was actually how you felt with your mother, and really you don’t know how you feel speaking with Marion because you’re so highly conditioned by your relationships with your parents.
That’s right, the further I go the less I know what I feel about her, about anything to do with myself or my life. It’s almost even as if she doesn’t exist, that I am still only with mum - which really makes me feel weird.
Yes, because it’s all to do with your parents, all as it was as you were forming, and there’s not been anything else really, all other people just being there allowing you to delude yourself that you’re no longer with your parents, but the truth is you are still with your parents and not really with anyone else.
Yeah, that’s a horrible thought. But it’s true what you say, that much I’ve been feeling and becoming more aware of these past couple of weeks.
So the more true you become to your bad feelings, the more you’ll be able to express to Marion just how you feel about her, which is not really her, but your parents. But you have to use her, you have to direct and express all you’re feeling to her, staying focused in the feeling-moment, so connecting with her; and the truth will surface that it’s really your parents you are still with, as you’re taken back through your feelings connecting back to yourself being with them. But you have to stay in the present with your feelings to keep directing it to Marion, seeing how Marion is making you feel and how you feel expressing yourself to her. You need her - being the world, and your new world, a new one outside of and so separate from your parents world - to give you feedback, to throw it back onto yourself, all so you can become more self-aware, and so individualise, bringing your true personality out, which your parents stopped you from doing.
Yes, she keeps me doing that. I do tend to want to skip her and do it all directly with mum and dad, but I can’t actually do that, that then is allowing my mind to step in and take over, and I lose the feeling connection. So I have to keep saying all how Marion is making me feel to her, and at the same time seeing it’s really mum or dad or Gran or whoever - or all of them that I’m talking to, and I can feel this ensures I’m still bringing all those old bad feelings from way back them, up and out and into my present state, which is purging them from my soul.
That’s right James. You are not to go back and be the little child that you feel you still are, you are to be an adult man, but simply getting back in touch with all those repressed childhood feelings and bringing them up into your adult life, all so you can then understand by using your adult mind, what they are all about - the truth they are wanting to show you. So you have to keep focused on Marion, expressing to her all she is making you feel, all whilst at the same time in answer to your longing for the truth of these feelings, you are seeing that it’s really all about your parents.
So Mary, really we link up within our relationships - marry, in my case with Marion - with our parents, never actually getting away from them.
Yes. However mostly for other people it’s not all their parents, as Marion is for you James, but certain aspects of their parental relationship they might be connecting with in their partner. But for those people who want to do their healing with their partner, both parties being fully committed to helping each other, then you will both represent each others parents for each other, as it is with you and Marion. So you both very quickly found that you weren’t wanting to be together because of any deep love you had for each other, but for more spiritual reasons which have since come to light. So you both agreed that you were in more of what could be called a working relationship, helping each other to accept, express and seek the truth of your feelings, and see what happens. And to not worry about love, or even the lack of it, just to keep going expressing all you feel and see where that takes you.
Marion’s led the way in all of that. I feel so mental about it all so much of the time now, I don’t even know if I do want to have a relationship with anyone, Marion included. But as yet I can’t leave her, so we keep going.
And you only don’t know what you feel about it all James because you’re parents interfered too much with you, not allowing you to know what you felt. So with one lot of feelings you want to scream and rage at Marion - your parents; then with the next lot, leave her - leave your parents; then, never leave her - never leave your parents, and on it goes. It all being how it was with your parents during different ages and stages of your development.
And overall I couldn’t leave them, just like I can’t leave Marion. I’m too scared as to what might happen to me, that I’ll be lost, crawl up my own arse and disappear - I don’t know what to do. So I just stay feeling like a demented idiot because of not knowing what I feel, and we sort of get along - really we get along well enough to do our healing together, and as everything is too fucked anyway, we feeling too incapable of doing much, so the idea of actually having to separate - it’s just too hard.
So you keep struggling along expressing your feelings the best you can and see what comes of that, see what truth comes up in you. And really James, that’s all you can do, and that’s all that’s needed to be done by both of you. It doesn’t matter about love, not when you’re both existing in an anti-love state, so there can’t be any real or true love between you anyway; so it’s best not to worry about that, or if you do, then express those bad feelings. It’s best to just keep going: you feel this now, now this, now this and now these feelings, and that is your relationship, your ongoing expressing yourselves to each other.
Yes, that’s how Marion sees it, that’s how she’s trying to get me to be. Or rather, not actually trying to get me to be anything, even though that’s how I wrongly think it is, but she’s just telling me how she’d like me to be. Or not even me, but someone who does love and respect her, someone who is considerate and genuinely interested in all that she is, and someone who does want to hear every feeling she feels she wants to express. It is all slowly getting ground out me, all what I think our relationship should be. I get so caught up in the mind stuff, trying to work it all out.
And as Marion says, it’s not about that, it’s only about expressing your feelings - nothing more.
Yes, every day she reminds me, every day it comes up because I’m not just staying true to my feelings, I’m off somewhere in my mind not truly relating to her, which is not fair on both of us. Mary, I’m getting tired and I can sense you wanting to end it here, so goodnight and thank you again, and I’ll speak to you soon.
Bye James.
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Post by James on Apr 26, 2014 18:00:59 GMT 10
92. Mary and aliens Tuesday, 7 January 2014
Hello Mary?
Go ahead James, I’m here.
Mary, having asked Jesus about this before, this time around I thought I’d ask you. It’s come up again, the notion about aliens interfering with us as it seems to be growing in popularity, almost reaching fever pitch at times, and sounding like something is about to break, being right on the threshold of a major revelation or confession from someone in the know, some government authority coming and out and declaring it’s true, aliens are interacting with humanity, and have been doing so for many years, if not always; and there being good and bad aliens. Specifically I was reading about people in even quite large groups, up to twenty and thirty in number, disappearing in public forests in America - and where else would they disappear, when it comes to such weird things. And speculation that those people are being taken underground to alien Grey’s bases to be used as food for the aliens or whatever they’d do with them.
And you’d like me to tell you if there is any truth to it?
Yes, and if there is any truth to any of it, and if not, why all the intense speculation about it. As I said, Jesus has spoken about this with me as you know, but I’d like to hear what you have to say about it.
No. James, straight out I will tell you the same as what Jesus told you, no, there is no truth to it and humanity is not being interfered with by any alien races - never has and never will. Only higher spirits have interfered with you, and only the mind spirits continue to interfere with you. And everything that is attributed to aliens of any description can be attributed to secret goings on by governments or mind spirits. Some governments want to create the illusion that anything odd can be explained, or at least suspected, by their being some sort of covert alien influence going on. So it’s the governments doing experiments on people in secret locations and the like.
Which does go on?
Yes, terrible things go on James, but it’s all home-grown you might say. And it’s all going to get exposed, humanity has to be shown up for what it truly is and there will be such shocking ‘disclousures’ that will cause much pain in a lot of people.
I don’t even want to think about it, we’re horrible enough as it is with all I can see.
I understand, however what you can’t see is very dark and it has always been going on to some degree, the depraved side of humanity’s evilness always needing some expression.
Yes well I can see it would be easy to create the aliens as some sort of scape goat.
Yes, but as I said, it’s all going to be exposed, that’s what we’re all waiting for, the time is coming. It’s not time yet, but all will be made known; and as I said, many people will be so shocked this being part of the pressure coming to bear on humanity that we spoke about whilst writing my comments on Revelation of the Bible.
And Mary, what about ufo’s, as in spaceships, Jesus said they have come and visited us, but have any of them really crashed?
They do periodically visit you, but as he said, they keep their distance and don’t allow themselves to be known to you, just as it is with so many unseen spirits being right with you in all you do and you mostly being oblivious to their presences. Those so-called space ships are all things you are ‘meant’ to see, and things being created by the same sources, governments, secret societies and corporations or the mind spirits. As Jesus told you, it takes nothing for such spirits to project such images onto your mind, cameras and recording devices, so you ‘see’ or ‘hear’ the aliens and their spacecraft, just as it’s easy to make you believe in dreams you are being visited by such aliens, and it’s no trouble for governments to engineer such ‘crash’ events, even in foreign lands to confuse the ‘enemy’.
So really it’s probably true, a lot of what I read in the alternative press concerning all the odd and secret stuff being attributed to covert government agencies.
Yes. Leaks occur, that’s all part of the natural way of things as it all involves people, and no matter how much you might threaten some people, they will still leak the information. But also of course there is a lot of misinformation and untruth as that area is ripe for anyone making up anything for whatever they believe they will gain from it. And so to be able to be discerning and pick your way through the untruth looking for the truth, that I feel James is not for you to even consider or worry about.
Yeah I know Mary, I wouldn’t know where to start anyway. I’ll just stick to trying to understand it all from a spiritual point of view, but it’s good to hear what you and Jesus say, and to feel it more so when you are telling me.
And there is going to be a lot more speculation about such things James, it’s all only just beginning, humanity will be awash in certain areas with such things, some true, some with only a hint of truth and much untrue. The end of Jesus’ and my age will see an increase in spiritual light bringing about all I’ve said which will occur crossing over into the Avonal age. And as the spiritual light intensifies so it’s going to bring to light a lot of the truth, so much of what has been hidden will be exposed. Little things are happening now, but mostly they are still being coordinated by the powers that be, but in time those powers will start to lose the control they have enjoyed and then things will open up. And you understand James, everything is controlled on some level and by a group, groups or individual, it being how you all live, all being controlled initially by the Lucifers, then Satans, then Caligastias and Daligastias, and now by your own kind as in the mind spirits, just as it all starts with your parents control. You are all controlled, it being all what living in the negative is all about, all varying levels of control, and all starting off and being manifestations of parental control - that’s where it all begins and ends now James, now that the Evil Spirits have been removed. And what’s personally important for you to keep doing is expressing all your anger at such control in the world and by the world, and at your parents, as it comes up. Marion doesn’t have such patterns within her so she doesn’t understand why it interests you so much being so concerned about what the world is doing, but she will understand why it is this way for you as you bring to light the reasons within yourself through your feelings.
Yes Mary, I understand that I am pressing on, it’s for me, not for her, and I am going to bring it up as you say when I feel angry like I did this morning. That was good to get all that off my chest, not even knowing it was on my chest, and I feel all the better for it understanding more about why it is that I’m interested in all this hidden control, as I come to see how controlling Gran was behind the scenes, she being the arch manipulator that’s stuffed me up so much. She’s like the unseen evil spirits controlling things, because I have no memories of actually being with her and being subjected to her control when I was very young, but now my healing is leading me through my feelings to reawaken such feeling-memories. And I’m coming to see more clearly that how it is on my inside, is how I see and hear and project onto my outside - outside into the world. So I can use all I feel about the outside, the goings on in the world, to help me understand about all my inside - all my forgotten goings on from my early years. Mary, would you like to say anything more about the aliens and so on, as I’ve asked you all the questions I wanted to ask.
No James. Jesus and I will of course ‘be in touch’ when things start to unravel and become more apparent as to what’s really going on behind the scenes, and we’ll be able to help you understand more then.
Okay, that sounds good. I’ll go then and speak to you soon. Thank you again.
Bye James - Mary M.
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Post by James on Apr 27, 2014 18:06:49 GMT 10
93. Adoption Friday, 10 January 2014
Mary, I’ve been thinking more about parenting and adopting, and how there are so many unwanted and rejected babies and children arriving in the mansion worlds every day, offering many further parenting opportunities for those spirits who were parents on Earth, and new parenting opportunities for those who weren’t parents. And really, does it matter whether or not you are parented by your biological parents, it all depending on whether or not your parents love you.
Yes James, I’ve been following your thoughts, adding a bit here and there which has made you want to write with me about it. And as there’s no need to repeat what we’ve talked about regarding such children and their arrival in spirit, I’ll lead you into other areas. I want you to understand that owing to the immense population on Earth and the sheer volume of unwanted foetuses, babies and young children, and because when so many people move into the mansion worlds, being so happy they feel young and alive again with a whole new life and not wanting to tie themselves down with childrearing, there is a overabundance of these unwanted young spirits having to be nurtured in communal nurseries. So this adds further to these rejected spirits feeling unwanted, neglected and uncared about - that they don’t matter.
I can understand Mary, with so many people feeling and believing they have to live life a certain way which is not really as they’d choose to, it being imposed on them by society and all the standard expectations, and then when it’s all finally over, and being free as you say in a whole new life that has none of the trials and difficulties of the physical, the last thing I imagine you’d want to do is tie yourself down again. However I can also imagine that a lot of people moving into spirit would feel unhappy about not having being parents on Earth for one reason or another, and so would find happiness finally being able to be parents in their new spirit lives, but I’d reckon that would be a minority compared with those people who have been parents. And then of course they’d be those people who love being parents and so would be overwhelmed with joy in the afterlife to be able to continue on being so. And as I personally have never felt like being a parent, and unless some major change occurs in me between now and my death and arrival in spirit, I can’t see myself wanting to parent.
It is as you say James, the majority of spirits want to live their new freedom doing what they’ve always wanted to do, and opportunities to do so abound in the spirit worlds. And comparatively few want to restrict themselves with children especially as they feel they’ve already done that and can’t really see any further value in it, all because they missed the whole point of being a parent, because of not being in a truly loving and positive mind and will state.
Can you elaborate on that please Mary - missed the whole point?
In your negative states and being unloving, you can’t fully enjoy the true love from your child nor enjoy giving your true love to your child, it’s as simple as that. It’s all perverted, corrupted and damaged how you love, what you call love, how you parent, what you call being loving parents. So parents go into spirit having been a parent not understanding that it wasn’t as it should or could have been, had they been true and perfect and of a positive mind and will. So really you could say, which you just thought James, that they’ve only experienced being a parent in an unloving way, and being a parent in a truly loving way awaits them as a completely new experience, should they wish to take it.
And do many spirits take it Mary? They’d have to be Celestial spirits to begin with having healed themselves, then descend into the lower mansion worlds, but that can’t happen as yet, can it, because spirit children still need to grow up subjected to all the unloving and negative influences of yours and Jesus’ age. And the Celestials, were they to be parents, would interfere with the negative experiences, because of themselves being perfect and true.
That’s right James.
I think I might have written that Celestials can be parents, I’d have to change that if I have, should I ever come to reread all my work.
They can be ‘part-time’ parents so to speak, not full parents. They can visit children and have certain influences on certain children, but not as yet can they be full time parents. With the new Avonal age, spirits of Divine Love doing their soul-healing and spirits doing their feeling-healing in the mind world sectors, will be able to parent spirit children adopting them as foetuses and onwards. But still to begin with the Celestials will only be able to remain part-time parents, although becoming progressively more involved as the spirits progress in their healing. And should people succeed in completing their healing whilst still of flesh and have children that die, such children being from positive willed parents will be able to be raised by Celestial spirits who will live in the feeling-healing sectors.
And will such perfect people still lose children?
Yes, there is always a percentage that have children but won’t parent them, those children needing to have other experiences in the mansion worlds as they grow up with spirit parents. However those spirit children will not feel unwanted or rejected should they come from healed parents, and so will be adopted by the Celestial spirits who’ll be able to maintain such good loving feelings for them.
And presumably in future after the Avonal age and without the inclusion of the Divine Love, those people who do their healing and lose children will know their children will be readily looked after in the feeling-healing sectors by spirits of the same level of truth as themselves, even potentially fully healed ones as the Celestials will no longer be able to have anything to do the mansion worlds.
That’s right James. For now and through the next age the Celestials will be able to help those still doing their healing in the Divine Love mansion worlds as the Divine Love will continue to be made available to such healing spirits and people on Earth who long for the Love, but once the Avonal’s age technically finishes, no new people or spirits will be able to receive the Divine Love, and either begin their healing with it, or just accumulate it within their soul like what can happen now, without wanting to embark on their healing.
Mary, I was thinking what happens if all the so-called End Times things happen and there’s a swift decline of people on Earth... but then there’s no need to say what I was going to say because there’d be all those people in spirit, more than enough to cope with the lesser numbers of future babies and children coming into spirit due to Earth’s reduced population.
Yes, and through the Avonal age things will balance out more or less as people will not want to have as many unwanted children. As part of the psychological changes that are to occur people will not be having children for the same reasons they do now, so there won’t be such a grand plan to populate the Earth whilst you can’t even feed and sustain yourselves. The folly of such ideas will be seen for what they currently are, with the emphasis being more on the quality of life, and a lot more focus on ‘getting back to nature’, but still in a progressive material way. Fewer people will want to confine themselves to being slaves to the commercialism and materialism that currently exists, with no desire to live crammed into nature-denying cities living unfulfilled lives of chasing the dollar. The changes will be severe enough to show humanity the current way of life does not do anything good for anyone, even for those people who feel successful in it, they only destroying all the good and true enjoyment that could come from a more down to earth and real life. So with fewer people, and then with those people moving into spirit, they will want to adopt all such babies and children having enjoyed a more happy and fulfilling family life when on Earth, even those people still well entrenched in their negative states. So the current prevalence of nurseries and the mansion world equivalent of institutions for the masses of unwanted children will diminish and eventually cease to be.
So all those unwanted babies and children really are the sign that we’re not loving. That we end out lives with the last thing being that we want to keep ‘having to look after children’.
Yes, if you could see the overall state of affairs and just how few spirits do personally want to parent in the spirit worlds compared to the continual and increasing numbers of newly arriving unwanted young souls, you’d see the full extent of humanity’s unlovingness. Because were it loving, there’d not be one little soul left unloved, humanity would abhor and detest the notion of anyone feeling unloved, and would do all it could to ensure all such little people and spirits were wanted, loved, and felt like they mattered. But sadly you don’t feel such love because of your condition, and so can’t make yourselves be what you are not. So many people feel so free when they arrive in spirit, free to do all those things they’ve always dreamed of doing but which their children prevented them from doing... and free to busy themselves indulging in such pursuits, without any desire of being a parent again, parenting being for many such spirits something they would rather forget.
But everyone says they love their children and being a parent. (I know that’s not true, but I want to see what Mary would say.)
And they all live in their contrived fantasies James, but in their new spirit lives such fantasies are harder to maintain. There are of course a lot of people who more than others did and do genuinely love their children, however I think a lot of people will be surprised when they have to face the truth of what they really felt about being a parent and having to be tied down with all that responsibility, and how much they had to deny, when really they’d rather have been unencumbered. A lot of people James reading this will probably not like what I’m saying, but that can’t be helped, for when they come to do their healing, then they will feel the truth for themselves. The truth arising from their healing is all that matters, and humanity will find that it’s hiding a lot of truth from itself, preferring to remain in its fantasies and illusions of love.
Mary, why do you want to tell me all of this - about what it will be like in spirit?
Because you want to know it James. Also because it will help people to think more about such things, which will help them move around and beyond their limited understanding of life and life after death, and even help them think about what the future might hold. It will help people open up their minds to new alternatives, all that is part of, and so representative of, what’s to come in the next age.
So Mary, all children, babies, foetus that arrive in spirit, even if through what would be called natural causes, will, because of simply being born during yours and Jesus’ age, feel rejected on some level.
All children do James, whether they remain living on Earth or move into spirit life - you all do, as I’ve said, as you’re all inducted into an evil, truth-denying and so love-denying, life. So everyone will when they come to do their healing, if they don’t already feel such bad feelings, have to embrace, accept, express and uncover the truth of such bad feelings. And it won’t be until humanity has fully healed itself, and everyone is a positive mind and will, that everyone conceived will feel fully loved by their parents, because all parents then will be truly loving.
And it’s this pain that Marion and I keep feeling; a deep heartache and a deep feeling like we’re not right, will never be right, that we don’t matter, that nothing good will ever happen, that we’ll never feel loved - have never felt loved, and we’re all wrong, and what’s it all for, will persist, it being the pain of all that you’re saying, the pain of feeling so unloved and unwanted, that we don’t matter, all indicative of being conceived into evil.
Yes James, and that pain will stay with you all through your healing as you get to know the truth of it - that being, what that pain is.
But what about those people who don’t feel it, surely most people must feel good about themselves and their lives or else everyone would be so miserable and unhappy and nothing would work.
It’s all in their mind James, how they were parented, all to give them the illusion that they are all right. But how they conduct their lives, what they view as important, what they think and feel, if you knew what to look for, you’d be able to see they are just hiding the truth from themselves. And when they come to do their healing, they will be taken by their soul into such bad feelings so they can learn all about them, accept they have them, and uncover their truth. Everyone will in time have to come to terms with that feeling of feeling unloved, that terrible feeling they carry in their heart and soul... and all the bad feelings that arise from it.
Yes, I think I’m going to focus more on it Mary. I have thought it would diminish as I progressed in my healing, only it’s getting, not so much stronger, but clearer; so I think it’s time I pay more attention to it - to what it really is, and what I do feel about it and how it makes me feel. How it makes me feel feeling so unloved by my parents and the world, how being in the world is not a loving experience - I don’t find anything of my life loving, and I’m certainly not loving.
I’ll leave you with those thoughts James - Mary M.
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Post by James on Apr 28, 2014 18:02:13 GMT 10
94. The soul keeping the body healthy. Friday, 10 January 2014
Hello James, Jesus. You were intending to speak again with Mary, however I thought I’d say hello, as we’ve not spoken for some time.
Yes, hello Jesus, it’s great to ‘sense’ you again.
And you wanted to talk about something you were just reading, how certain foods will combine with heavy unwanted and poisonous metals ridding the body of them through natural evacuation.
Yes, a guy has been doing some experiments seeing how effective some foods are at ridding such things like lead and mercury, but he’s having difficulty apparently trying to find natural foods that can rid and so protect the body against harmful radioactive elements, such as the ones spewing forth from the radioactive water and gases that are going into the atmosphere and Pacific ocean because of the Japanese nuclear disaster Fukushima.
Yes, well as we’ve spoken of before, the soul is more than capable of ridding the physical body of any harmful substances should it be required to do so. It can alter the auric system or call upon the help of ones Indwelling Spirit and guardian angels to take care of such things. You’ve had such experiences of this James, periodically your stools being so heavy and sinking as if they contain lead weights. That’s the sort of thing that can happen, and on all levels. Essentially anything that is ingested by the body or put into it can be removed by it should it be necessary and with a little help from spirit. Even severe cases of radiation poisoning can be rendered harmless, the effects reversed, whatever is required, as I said. However for the most part the soul also allows and supports such poisoning and also death from it, all to give you the desired negative or unloving experience you require whilst you want to remain in your unloving states of mind and will. And those people who do their healing as Mary and I have encouraged your readers to consider, will find that as they progress in their healing, then less and less will they need such bad things to happen to them as they heal themselves of their unloving state. You’ve found James in your healing that although bad things still happen, the are very minor now compared to what they were when you first started, and often are of themselves not even bad, such as your new car getting scratched, but it’s all how that makes you feel that’s important.
Our new car getting scratched is not important - Jesus, what are you saying! What could be more important than our new car saying in pristine condition forevermore. Isn’t that what it’s all about?
Your soul is the only part of you that’s all important James, as you know. And the condition it is in will be reflected by your spirit and physical body, and even more so your spirit body than the physical, for you don’t need to be a continual youth with a good body to feel happy within yourself - happy within your soul. And so your soul orchestrates your car to be scratched to make you feel certain feelings - it all being part of your experience you currently need. And all to show you that such things are not important, as one day your car will return to its component elements, whereas your feelings, as transient as they might seem to be, are the expression of your personality, so vitally important. Without feelings you’d not grow in truth, so you’d never ascend to Paradise, doomed to stay hoping your car never gets a scratch on it.
So you mean when - or rather, if, I finish my healing before I die, I won’t have the body of a sixteen year old... that’s a bit of a bum.
You’ll remain an old codger James, but one that feels happy in his soul.
So my body will be falling apart, but at least I’ll feel happy.
You’ll have to wait and see how it will be for you and Marion, we’re all waiting to see how it will be for you both, for no one has as yet healed themselves of their evilness whilst still of flesh.
And you reckon we will finish it, that I still find hard to accept as much as I want to believe it, because I still feel I’ve got a million things wrong with me and so much repressed anger and yuk in me still to be liberated. Surely I’ll be dead before it’s all come out of me. I’m currently accepting that my healing is just my life, it possibly going on for many more years - even hundreds, and maybe it will never end.
It’s all coming out James, however we can’t tell you anything specific about how long it will take you.
Yeah well I hope it is all coming out. And I understand you can’t say anything about the time, and really, as much as I would love to know it will be over soon, still I appreciate the value in not knowing, my mind can’t lock onto that as yet another escape. By not knowing the end, I have to come back and stay focused in the present. I’d like to talk more about it Jesus.
Yes I know, but I have other things I’d like to tell you about. I want to say that all Mary has told you I concur with. I know you know this, but it’s for the record. As you understand, potentially lots of people will take what you’ve written and do things with it; but at least for us to say it, then those people who want to keep it as true to what you have written will need to hear such things, and be able to cross reference them.
I have no idea about that Jesus, so if that’s what you want, of course that’s fine by me, I want you to write whatever you like ‘through’ me, with my only worry being of course that I’m blocking and interfering with what you and Mary might really like to say. So will people mess around with my writing, mucking it up as they do everything else... I guess it’s to be expected.
Some people will James, they will try to use parts of for their own gain - for power and control over others. And as we’ve told you James, you’ve got nothing to worry about so far as interfering with or limiting what Mary and I might want to say to you, because it’s all coming out one way or another. And the details are not so important as the ideas and understandings we want to convey. Humanity will evolve the details into place as it heals itself, so there will be plenty for everyone to do as they work through their healing. And some of what you will say and write will need to be altered (updated), as it will be understood that you said and wrote such things in the limited context of your growth and healing, but you’ll always be able to show people that there is more, and more will certainly come if they look to their feelings for their truth.
I’m very hot at the moment Jesus, so I’m sorry for stopping and starting, I have to wash my face and get some water. It’s our first summer hot spell, with more to come next week so the forecast said, a bad heatwave engulfing many parts of Australia, and unfortunately causing many animals and birds to die - fruit bats dropping out of the trees in southern Queensland and dying because of the heat. And then in parts of America they’re freezing setting new cold temperature records. It’s global warming one moment, global cooling the next, I can hardly keep up.
As Mary’s been telling you, it’s going to keep getting worse, and I’m afraid nature will suffer quite a bit, however it’s all still within the natural order of things.
Well it has happened in the past, and the natural order is... natural. But it’s just that with all our interference, surely it makes things all the more difficult for the creatures, that’s what I don’t like.
Yes James it does, but that too can’t be helped. It’s where humanity is being taken by the Mother and Father and it’s all for the good of everyone involved in the end - even the creatures and all of nature and the Earth, that much you can be sure of, even if you can’t see it or understand it for yourself.
Intellectually I understand Jesus, but it’s hard to see the suffering happening right before your very eyes and being unable to do anything about it. Marion and I have vacillated between hating dog owners, to only hating the ones who let their dogs off the leashes as they chase the birds and other wildlife; to not hating them, the dogs or their owners; to hating them and not hating them, and now we’ve both come to feeling just how wonderful the dogs are, as they are dogs - a creature; and as far as humanity goes, well we’re all fucked, and unless one is like you or Mary who can see deeper into the soul and feel the inherent love and good that might be hidden and suppressed within our true selves, it’s sure is hard work having to be with people.
All part of the struggle James, the struggle of self-liberation, liberation from the self-hate you feel and project onto everyone else.
Yeah, that’s the horrible part of it all, I can’t just keep it focused on myself.
And you’re not meant to whilst you’re not focused on yourself, so you hate everyone else expressing those bad feelings as you do, whilst longing for the truth of them, and the truth leads you back into yourself.
Was there anything else you wanted to say Jesus?
No James, just to have a chat with you about whatever comes up, all so you can feel and experience my presence. You need it from time to time to balance Mary, although you’re needing it less and less.
Currently I am feeling more drawn to just speaking with Mary, I find her very soothing when she ‘writes’ through me. And it’s so easy to do, even easier than with you Jesus. It is still easy now with you, but you’re still more a bloke, and well you know...
I do, and I connect differently with you being male to male. And your relationship with Mary has another whole aspect or dimension to it, which we’ve touched on with you concerning you allowing her to express herself - that which she wishes to say, which people back during our time on Earth didn’t allow her to say. And as you allow Mary to do this through you, so you’re also allowing Marion to do it, and then also allowing yourself to do it, so you’re working on the physical and spiritual levels of accepting the Feminine Aspects and Principles of Truth. I said all I needed to say when on Earth and then following up with James Padgett, so really there is no need for us to converse so far as the Masculine Aspects or Principles of Truth are concerned, however I am coming to you more as a friend and also to help give humanity yet another ‘feeling’ for me through your work.
Yeah well I can’t be objective about that, what it might seem like to others, but I can see what you mean, and I hope it allows people to gain some more of a feeling for you and Mary.
And for yourself and Marion, James. All things being considered within the limitations of the written word.
Yeah, and my writing of the written word, my bad self and English expression. Daily I am uncovering just how bad my communication is, it’s incredible that I can have so many things wrong with it, so many little things all of which I have had no idea existed, and yet when they come to light, they are huge things and all so obvious. The complexity of all the psychology; and no sooner have I seen yet another thread of confusion that I am, and I forget it, as I’m onto the next one. If you asked me what did I go through yesterday and what truth did I uncover, I’d not be able to tell you, other than to know that it was my usual daily quota, so a lot. Everyday is a ‘big’ day, always more truth, insight and understanding coming up through my feelings, and always more bad feelings.
You don’t need to remember it all James, as Marion tells you. It’s all within your soul, and that’s all that matters, it’s all part of you, your life experience and so your truth, and it all makes you be the person you are, the person that it coming into Creation. And should you need to bring such things back into your awareness or consciousness, they will come and be there, it all being easily done by your soul. As Mary and Marion both keep telling you, all you need to do is keep focused on trying to express all you feel and long for the truth of those feelings, and all the rest will take care of itself. In fact your whole life will be taken care of, and you’ll know what to do and when to do it and why you want to do it all through your feelings; and you’ll see just how difficult you’ve made it all be for yourself by controlling every part of it with your mind.
I am seeing it more clearly, and wishing I could get my mind out of it, but it’s a slow process, and one I certainly can’t control or speed up. And Jesus, Mary said you didn’t want to add anything regarding commenting on Revelation from the Bible?
No James, all Mary said is enough. We’ll still be imparting to you bits and pieces as you progress further in your healing, but there was no need for me to be directly involved in that work. And as I said, it’s important for people to relate to Mary as a person, a spirit, a personality in her own right, and one that is more than capable of standing on her own and delivering all the necessary truths humanity - and indeed Nebadon - requires from her. And that she is not dependent on or subservient to me - I am not the dominant one in our relationship. She is the Mistress of our universe as I am the Master, and we’re completely equal in all that we do. So all that people give to me and focus on me they should also give to and focus on Mary.
All the time you mean.
Yes. And if they open their hearts and minds to Mary as they do to myself, then they’ll be opening the way for themselves to connect with our Spirits of Truth which will guide them through Nebadon and on towards connecting with their Heavenly Mother and Father on Paradise. So it’s good that Mary can demonstrate all she does with you James and without my disturbing that, which is why you’re feeling more drawn to just writing with her.
I have up until lately had you both sort of divided up, I will speak to Mary about those things, things mostly to do with the healing and feelings - women’s stuff; and with you about the worldly things - men’s stuff. But working through Revelation with her helped me to break that down within myself, now I feel happy to talk to you both about anything and everything.
Which is coming about as you’re uniting the masculine and feminine within yourself James, that which Mary and I are symbolic of. You are exorcising out of yourself, your unloving and untrue relationship with your mother and father, able to more freely relate to us and even the Mother and Father and yourself and Marion.
Now you put it like that, yes, I can see that is what is happening. I guess it’s been happening all the way along, only it’s becoming more apparent now if I look at my relationship with you both as a guide.
Time for bed, is it James?
Yes. When I get tired now Jesus, when writing with you and Mary, I start to feel like I’m detaching from the words I’m typing, sort of floating away on what you’re saying, and not paying attention to the words. Which is all right until I realise I’m still saying the words in my mind but no longer typing them. So I have to make myself come back or stay put or whatever it is. I quite like the sensation, but I fear that I will lose the connection with you and go off writing under my own steam making it all up.
We’d not let you do that James, we’d wake you up or just stop and you’d know that we’d withdrawn. As it gets even easier for you to write with us like this James, so you will actually have to apply your mind a little more but in a different way than how you used to when you feared your connection wasn’t good enough.
Really Jesus I’d love to ditch my life here in the physical and come over into spirit, it’s not very appealing anymore being here, not that it ever was. As you know, I used to maintain the fantasy that the good things were about to happen - any day now. But I’ve given that up, as the any day never arrived and never will. So now I’d like to move on. I feel I understand the truth and all you and Mary have told me well enough, so really I can’t see the point in staying here. Other than to complete my healing before I die... but that might not happen... more thoughts and feelings going around within me... And daily Marion says she wishes it would end for herself, that she’d cease to be altogether, or die and go into spirit - she oscillates between the two. (And re-reading this: April 1 2014, as she’s been feeling a lot better lately, she said today that she doesn’t mind if she lives another twenty years or more, and in fact she’s looking forward to doing it, should that be what the Mother and Father want. And I just feel more resigned to plodding on.)
I understand James, but it’s still what you need to do: face the truth of your unloving state, and feel all what it feels like. So you’ve got to keep going feeling all your bad feelings so you can get to know it thoroughly, all that it’s composed of - all that you are. Because you are wrong and evil and unloving, and as you can’t run away from that, it is how you are, so you can only stop and accept it - accept yourself for being exactly how you are.
The last three weeks have been hellishly boring, lots of things have still happened, lots of bad feelings and truth coming to light, but the overall feeling has been one of intense boredom for us both, bone destroying boredom, soul destroying boredom, and just how fruitless, meaningless and nothing our lives have been. Not even a waste of time as that would at least be something, but just so NOTHING - of nothing good.
All which is how the truth of evil is. It’s anti love and truth as you know, and so there is no meaning or point to it, it is hellishly soul-destroying and stops all creative and self expression. It is anti life, anti feeling good, anti happiness, so it’s right all that you’ve both been feeling because that’s the truth of your evilness, the truth of your negative states. And so the more you progress the closer to the truth of your nothingness you are getting, which is what you’re currently feeling. And as Marion tells you, you are already it, it began at conception, so all you’re doing is just accepting yourself fully, and seeing for yourself through your feelings just how you are - and how you feel about it. So really it’s nothing new, you’ve not been anything else other than this negative state, other than bored to nothing, only you’ve not until now been able to feel and see it for the truth that it is. You couldn’t understand it and see the truth when it was all happening to you through your forming years, but you can now. And as you know, when you see it all, when you know yourself, when you know what being evil feels like for yourself, then you’ll be free of it, because then it will have served its purpose and you’ll no longer need to be in such a soul-destroying state as they’d be no value in it. So you’re to no longer deny it - deny yourself, and instead accept - and all through your feelings and NOT just with your mind - that you are The Living Truth of Evil. And that is where everyone is to get to - to understand that about themselves. And having reached that climax James, I think I will bid you goodnight and leave you to it.
Yes Jesus, that was rather profound. I like having such headings to consider. You and Mary are the Living Truth of Love, as we too will all be when we’re healed. But until such time, as we’re all living in denial of our own love and all love, so we’re the Living Truth of Evil. Yes, I can accept that, that makes sense, and as my eyes are now going blurry, I will stop and say thank you Jesus, it was good to speak with you again.
Until next time James - Jesus of Nebadon.
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Post by James on Apr 29, 2014 18:02:58 GMT 10
95. Healing yourself by expressing your feelings. Monday, 13 January 2014
Mary, Marion said: Medicine is only looking for a way to kill the symptom; the disease being the symptom not the cause. They refuse to look deeper for the real cause only looking to the physical.
Yes James, what she says is true, which is why you keep subjecting yourselves to such invasive interference from other people, all because you fail to understand how to take responsibility for yourselves through your own feelings.
So even though we’ve talked about this before, I’d like to go over it again as I’m now different to how I was before, seeing things in a better light; so, all or physical problems are only manifestations or expressions of deeper unease and unhappiness within us. But how do such problems, such as disease, become manifest in the physical?
It all is brought about by your soul, that’s where you begin. Then your soul manifests it through your will, and as your will is existing against yourself, so you will into being the negative manifestations of such bad feelings of feeling unloved, in your spirit system, then into your physical, as they are all interconnected. With your physical being the last or outer expression of such problems. And then within each system, the physical, spiritual and will, all of which also include your subtle systems of mind and emotions - higher and lower, there are other layers all interacting with each other, all interconnected, all being expressions of what’s in your soul, all being represented through your personality as your beliefs, behaviour resulting from them, and your feelings. So for example, let’s imagine that you feel hurt by your parents not loving you, by their rejection of you when you are four years old and you run to them seeking sympathy and they shun you, saying stop all that nonsense, stop crying, it wasn’t anything, you’re not hurt, stop all those tears, you’re a big girl now and big girls don’t cry. So you feel rejected, unloved by them and very, very hurt. You feel hurt to the core of your being, because it’s you - you the person, you their child whom they should ONLY love, and you know this intuitively - you feel it; and you want it from them, you look to them for it, you expect it to come, but when it doesn’t and then you try and demand they love you, only be rejected again, so your soul resorts to other measures to try and gain that love. So you fall over and hurt yourself looking to them for sympathy, only to be further rejected because this has all been going on since your conception you have to remember, I am only picking one moment in time with your parents for this example, but it’s all connected, and all rejection is linked to all other rejection. So deep in yourself your pain is complete, you feel devastated by their rejection of you. You feel so scared for how are you going to be able to survive if they don’t want you, you’re too young, you know you can’t live without them, and it’s all too much, to horrendous to even contemplate; and besides, they are showing you that it’s all up to you now, they are not going to help you, so you have take it upon yourself by changing, by becoming more how they want you to be if they are going to look after you and show you any affection, sympathy, and love. So your soul makes the necessary adjustments, burying those hurt feelings as another part of yourself is destroyed, rejected and all but annihilated, as that’s what it really feels, as you suppress your bad feelings, banishing them and so that part of yourself deeper and deeper within yourself, buried away and mostly forgotten about. And so as bad and unloving experience follows bad and unloving experience, all within you, you make the necessary adjustments all to please your parents, all to try and gain their love, with some people having to change themselves drastically, the more heavily controlled they are and rejected by the very people who should not be controlling, and who instead should be unconditionally accepting and loving all that you are. And so the layers add up, building upon each other as you grow and advance your mind evolving your psychological makeup, as you build your beliefs and resulting behaviours all expressing the false and untrue person you’re increasing becoming with each bad ‘episode’ you live through. And as you grow and change yourself, from the perfect to the imperfect, so such imperfection is manifested not only in your soul, but through all your personality expression systems. So on the will level if were you able to see it as some of the higher angels can, you’d see all the ways you went against yourself, all the ways your will was forced to manifest this false you on all levels. With those imperfections being manifest in your mental and emotional systems, and in your spiritual and physical bodies. And in your spiritual system you’d see the damage to your chakra or light-body systems, from the smallest minutest level up to the biggest main or primary light centres. And then in the physical things might seem all right, as not all your imperfection needs to be manifest at the same time. But then as you get older for example, suddenly your cells become corrupted by your soul through your will expressing the already present spiritual imperfections. So your physical starts to break down, expressing such imperfection and you become sick. All to make you feel certain feelings. All so that through your illness really you should look to your feelings to understand why you are feeling bad, what is the truth of such bad feelings your illness is making you feel, and there will be feelings to do with all sorts of things, not just how the physical pain makes you feel. And if you go to the doctor and undergo treatment according to him, then you’ll be denying yourself the expression and so truth of all those feelings, burying them yet again, all of which is a hugely unloving act, all of which is further cementing your self-rejection, the same rejection brought about by your unloving parents; all of which will only take your further along in your imperfection and so evilness - yourself being an unloving expression of personality, and so soul. And medicine might heal you, your soul might allow that, all so you can move further into your negative state giving you the allusion that you are in control of your life, albeit via the doctor, but at least you went to him, so you rationalise, and so in your negative way you are able to determine (wrongly) that you are in control, but really only of furthering your negative state of mind and will. All of which will only cause you yet more pain and bad feelings at some point further on in your life. And your soul might not allow you to ‘win’ or beat that disease, and you might die, only to move into your new spirit life and then have all your disease taken away giving you also the illusion of death being the right thing for you - that it took all your pain away, making you move yet further into your negative self-rejecting state. And so it goes until you decide to do your feeling- or soul-healing and go the other way, starting to love yourself by accepting your feelings and no longer denying them.
So the doctor is really just an extension of using our negative mind to control our feelings.
Yes, you’d do it yourself if you could, as many people and mind spirits do by using their minds to deny their bad feelings, through such things as positive affirmation which is really just applying your will to deny your bad feelings, all what you’ve done since conception as your parents didn’t allow you to fully express all of yourself - all of your feelings. So as you can’t do what the doctor does for yourself, so you enlist his help and he does it for you, but he’s only doing what you want, so he’s only an extension of your self and feeling denying mind and will.
Okay, so let’s say we do honour our pain and all the bad feelings that come up when we start to get sick; and let’s say we express them and start to uncover the truth they are trying to show us, then what happens in our bodies and subtle systems.
Then you start to reverse the process that brought about all your self-denial. And on the way through you come to understand, all through your feelings, how you really were treated - and truth of how you felt about that. So you have to uncover and then face the truth of not being loved by your parents, and go into your feelings of how they were annihilating you, and how all of that made you feel. And you will see how you changed yourself trying to gain their love, you’ll see all your problems - all your imperfection; all your erroneous beliefs keeping all your unloving behaviour in place, and you’ll understand through feeling it: all your will damage, how you are willing yourself along in life against yourself - how you are willing your falseness and untrue state into being. And your soul will keep manifesting in all your systems that constitute your aura, including your physical, all that needs to come out, all that pain, all the layers suppressed and repressed in you, all until it’s all come out of your soul - all the light of your self-denial. And when you are true and perfect, no longer being false, then you’ll be the true person you are, the true person that should have come into being had you been fully and truly loved, this level of existence being equal to and so an expression of the first Celestial sphere of truth. And so being true and prefect you will no longer have any untruth and imperfection within you, so you’ll no longer be or get sick, as you’ll no longer need such an illness to make you feel bad. As you’ll no longer need bad feelings now in your adult life to help take you back to those same feelings during your forming years, so as to connect with the truth of what really went on between yourself, your parents and your early carers.
So our inner systems, and physical are always fluid, changing as we move through our healing.
Yes, stuff is always moving around, unblocking and healing your light centres so everything works properly. And so changing and ‘reprogramming’ your mental and emotional subtle systems and those etheric ones that connect them to your spiritual and physical bodies, all resulting in all the aches and pain and weird energy experiences you have had James through your healing - all the so-called ‘adjustments’ as the Mother and Father call them. And there is a lot to adjusting - or really, readjusting - that needs to take place, as you are understanding. And as all of this is taking place, so you are also liberating or revealing the truth of yourself to yourself through all your feeling expression; and as you grow in truth so too is your consciousness growing, your soul-perceptions are evolving, your intuition is expanding, your understanding intellectually and on a feelings level is maturing, the whole of you is expressing each part more truly as you become more true. And on the physical you are getting more healthy, you might have periods of sickness or the beginnings of sickness, and lots of pain, but that’s all to help you feel feelings you are to embrace and seek the truth of. And as you do so, those symptoms change or go away and others come, and on you go slowly progressing closer to becoming your true self. And the same is happening in your spirit body and on your will level. Some blocks unblock in your light centres then new ones form as you are bringing to light yet deeper unexpressed feelings. So any ‘psychic healing’ dabbling in these areas can interfere with what your soul is doing, just as medicine interferes on the physical level.
So Mary, can we heal everything through our healing, even all physical problems?
Technically, yes you can James, however it’s not as easy as that. It all depends on the experiences you require. But the truer you become to yourself, the less you’ll need to rely on anyone else other than yourself - that is a general rule, however there’s always other specific reasons why this rule might be broken, all again depending on what the Mother and Father have in mind for you. But overall, the more true humanity becomes to its soul, the less people will have the need for outside help or intervention, and in the end when humanity is perfect and true, no such help will be required. And so this is generally what will also happen on the individual level.
So what about if you are doing your healing and you break your leg.
You express all your feelings, seeking the truth of them; and by all your feelings, I mean ALL of them, right the way along through the experience until there are no more to express, which could be all the way through until you’ve healed your leg or until whatever happens and you no longer feel bad. And whilst expressing such feelings, if you feel you need help to fix the break, so you will seek it, should it be available. However you are not to worry about whether or not you should do anything (if you do worry, they are more bad feelings to express and seek the truth of), only keep expressing your feelings and looking to uncover the truth they are to show you, and along the way you’ll find you will do what you need to do, be that go to a doctor or not. And the same applies with all you do in life.
But what if there is no doctor, or even if there is yet you feel you don’t want to, but your leg mends damaged.
Then that’s you still honouring and doing what your feelings make you feel, and seeking the truth of them whilst you are expressing them. And you’ll live the resulting truth and keep embracing and expressing feelings and uncovering the truth of them; and your damaged leg would no doubt give rise to many of them; or it may not, you having fully expressed all bad feelings to do with it, and you just accept that’s how it now is for you, how your soul and God want it for you. And if they don’t want you to have a damaged leg, there are other unseen forces that can be applied, through the angels, nature spirits, and your indwelling spirit, they being possibly called upon to fix the physical break - so there are other options available. And until you go down such a road completely honouring and living true to your feelings, you won’t know what is best and right for you. And as humanity embraces its true healing, it will be regularly surprised as to what does happen. You and Marion have experienced many different avenues opening up when you’ve looked to your feelings instead of pushing on with your negative mind in control.
We have. No miracles as such, but still, miracles in smaller and other ways. And even as you said, just a new path, something I’d have thought wouldn’t happen or didn’t even know existed.
Yes James, all to help you see there is more to life than just what’s on the surface, and in fact it’s the deeper levels that are calling the shots, not just the superficial. And by humanity choosing to live with its mind in control so with it believing it’s in control and playing god, you are greatly limiting all your experiences, so you construct a meaningless existence for yourselves in which no one feels truly happy, fulfilled and loved.
Thank you Mary, it’s time for breakfast.
Speak to you soon James.
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Post by James on Apr 30, 2014 18:03:48 GMT 10
96. The effects of radiation Monday, 13 January 2014
Mary, I’d like to ask discuss with you again more about the harmful effects of radiation and how one might protect oneself against it - by doing their healing. So, will doing ones healing protect one from such harmful effects?
James, I can’t give you a definitive answer on this, which is why you’re asking the question. People are to understand that first: Anything is possible. Second, it’s up to what the Mother and Father want them to experience. Third, you are to realise you can’t control everything in your life that you might like to control. Fourth, by doing your feeling- or soul-healing, as you uncover the truth of yourself through your feelings, you’ll do just that: uncover the truth and what is right for you. AND IT IS ONLY WHAT IS RIGHT FOR YOU - not necessarily right for anyone else. So as it’s not what is right for another person or for everyone, I can’t make a sweeping statement such as this. However, having said that, I can reiterate that technically, which means potentially, doing your healing will protect you not only from harmful radiation but from everything else. However one then needs to ask oneself and seek the truth through ones feelings: why do I feel I need protection - what am I scared of, what are my great fears? And is it death, because, what is wrong with dying, as there is nothing wrong with it, you simply move into a new phase of life. And death of course - dying and pain and suffering should such feelings be part of it, involves - or can involve - much fear and all sorts of bad feelings, all of which need to be embraced - fully accepted, expressed completely, and their truth longed for and uncovered. It’s a very complex business that of evolving YOUR soul in truth. And every experience is for YOU and no one else. It’s all highly personal - the most personal, all really between you and your Heavenly Parents, you and your Creators. So you must take things up with Them. And if you don’t like how They are making your life, all They are making you be and experience, then there will be yet more bad feelings for you express and seek the truth of. So neither Jesus or myself are going to make such sweeping headline statements, but you do know that anything is possible; but as to what happens to you is a personal journey of feeling-experience. So you can approach your healing with an open mind, you can certainly long for and express all your wishes and desires, together with all your fears, and you can ask your Mother and Father for what you want. You do all you please, all whilst you keep embracing and expressing and wanting to uncover the whole truth of your relationship with yourself through your feelings. And as long as you keep looking to your feelings instead of denying them with your mind, you’ll get there - to the truth of yourself. And as you’ll find through your healing, it’s more important to uncover the truth of your relationship with your parents, with yourself, with nature and God, and with all the other people who participated in your forming years, than it is whether or not you die or suffer from radiation poisoning or any other bad thing. And it may be that you are to suffer, and to a lesser or greater degree, but all so you will bringing up yet more bad feelings so as to uncover yet more truth about your relationship with your parents; because even though you might not be able to see any direct correlation between the two, it will be there, as EVERYTHING will relate back to your early relationships and whether or not your felt loved.
So anything that makes us suffer in any way, that makes us feel bad in even the slightest way, is there in our lives provided by our soul and so the Mother and Father, to give rise to such feelings so we can use them to uncover more truth about our relationship with our parents, which then leads onto our relationship with ourself - whether we’re living true to ourselves or not.
Yes. And if it’s not to be part of your experience, then you’ll not be in a place where such radiation can effect you. If it is, then you will. And even if you are to only feel scared about it, yet not actually suffer any harmful physical effects, it’s all the same, just more bad feelings for your accept, express and seek the truth of. It’s all ONLY about uncovering the truth of yourself. That is your way out of your evilness. It’s not about how long you live in the physical or the extent of any suffering that might befall you, it’s all only about things happening to make you feel bad so you can use those bad feelings to go deeper into the truth of what is really going on inside you. And if you don’t complete your healing in the physical then you can carry on doing it in spirit. Everything else is secondary - or should be.
So all that happens to us that makes us feel bad is really good and helping us, should we want to live true to ourselves and heal ourselves of our untruth.
Yes. And your soul will make it all happen, it will all be done to you by the Mother and Father through your soul. So even though it might seem like you’re minding your own business and suddenly you’re engulfed by a radiation cloud, still that’s what is to happen to you so as to provide the next lot of bad feelings you need to move along in your healing. And it has to be bad feelings whilst you’re denying them, because it’s all about stopping yourself from denying them, so allowing them to be, allowing yourself to fully feel them, and then to express them seeking their truth. So this becomes your focus and way of life with everything - focusing on YOUR FEELINGS TO UNCOVER THE TRUTH OF THEM; your relationships, your family, your friends, your work, what you eat and drink, your beliefs and behaviours, your dreams, goals and fantasies becoming secondary. You can of course have them, but all whilst you put your bad feeling acceptance first. So any time you feel bad even in the slightest way, you stop, pay full attention to such a feeling, expressing it and speaking about all to your friend or partner or even to God if you have no one else - even to yourself out loud if you can, or write it down, and even speak out loud whilst you’re writing, and all whilst you long hard to uncover the truth of yourself. And whilst you’re longing to know the truth of what and why you’re feeling in that moment, you can ask God to help you see that truth, to see what your soul and God wants you to see about yourself. And you are to have no expectation as to what They might want you to see; and you keep going expressing and talking about all you can; and the truth will come of its own accord and when it’s time for your soul to show you, when you’ve expressed all those repressed feelings out of you that have been preventing it from doing so. And you will go this way and that. You know yourself James, one day you might feel bad about a specific problem, and for days more fear or anger or misery comes up making you feel so powerless about being unable to do anything to stop what’s causing you the problem. And once you’ve expressed and uncovered all the truth those feelings were to help you see, then you might no longer feel bad for a time; then feel bad again, and so it goes, as you roll along in your feeling expression, one bad feeling following another, as the truth comes to light and as the picture of your whole negative and anti-self state unfolds. And the years pass. And your healing evolves, you’re working on this part of yourself and your relationship with your parents, your feelings shedding light on such things; then you move to a different part through new feelings; then back to the other part yet on a deeper level with more of the same bad feelings surfacing again. And on you go, whether that includes something like being subjected to radiation or having a tooth ache or feeling bad because the man over the other side of the road won’t stop his dog running into your place. Whatever it is that’s making you feel bad, it’s all the same, simply something else to make you feel bad, those same bad feelings your parents made you feel which you stopped yourself from expressing - or where stopped - all those years ago, but which are still in you, still making you feel bad. So the bad thing happening now in your life is only doing so, so as to help you get back in touch with those same bad feelings from your early life, all so you can then link your bad feeling now with your bad feeling back then, all so there is no time interval, no past, just all in the present. And the truth will come to light so you can see what it was all about. And being subjected to something as harmful as radiation might seem like a bigger worry and problem compared to the neighbours dog coming into your yard and digging unwanted holes in your lawn, or having a little argument with your partner in which you feel slightly angry, but it’s not, as they are all equally important, equally as large because they all make you feel bad. And every bad feeling - every feeling - is very important, and so denying any of them is the worst thing you can do to yourself. Denying one feeling is far worse than even willingly exposing yourself to radiation, as it is what is really killing you, - killing your soul and personality expression in Creation, not the actual radiation, as that will kill only your physical body. Humanity has to one day understand just how unloving, how evil, it is to deny but one small seemingly insignificant feeling. It is the worst thing you can do to yourself. IT IS THE GREATEST SIN. And yet you’ve all been trained to not only wrongly believe it’s okay to do so, but that it’s right to do so, it’s right to stop yourself feeling bad in any way you can, when it’s absolutely the worst thing to do to yourself. The right thing to do being to allow yourself to feel all your feelings, good and bad, and to feel them and express them fully, passionately, with the full emotion, feeling and intensity of them. And one day the self-bondage will be removed from humanity, then it will be truly liberated, which simply means, free to feel and express all it feels. And whilst doing so, longing for and uncovering the truth of such feelings. And that is all life should be about, you don’t need any laws or books to guide you and tell you how you should live. Your feelings and the truth gleaned from them will be your guidebook, yourself showing yourself how it’s to be for you, and all through your very own feelings. So you throw away all the rest, it all becomes secondary to your feeling-led life; and if it’s required it will be there and you’ll use it, but all only according to your feelings. And you’ll soon see life goes on, you have no say in that, and your feelings will guide you, and your life will change and adjust as you change and heal yourself, and God will look after you through it all, just as They’ve looked after you since your conception and all through your evilness. Life is really very easy and simple to live James when from your true feelings and with a positive mind and will. It’s nothing like the excruciating agony you are subjecting yourselves to each day whilst in your anti life states of feeling and self denial. And you only make it all so complicated because you fail to understand that it’s your feeling denial that makes it all so hard for you. So to end that, and even though it will be hard to end it, your healing being very difficult and very trying, once it is over, then you’ll be free to really enjoy all life has to offer you, living with your newfound truth and enjoying all the love and happiness that results from it.
Thank you Mary.
Speak to you soon James. Mary M.
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Post by James on May 1, 2014 17:59:54 GMT 10
97. Feeling angry about being mistreated during my early years. Monday, 13 January 2014
Mary, I am feeling very angry about how I was mistreated during my early years, Marion having read out of a book conversations by a mother with her children, which although far better than anything I ever had with my parents, still was so controlling not allowing her children to express all they felt and thought. She was too busy, always with too much work she had to get done, so she brushed them aside telling them to go and amuse themselves outside. She cut short all their natural curiosity, all their being able to express all they felt, and that happened to me so many times - this being what I now can remember and understand all thanks to the truth that’s come to light within me as I’ve progressed in my healing. I now completely see that being able to freely express ourselves is the most important thing of all, right from the first moment. And were we allowed to, we’d feel loved and so would be naturally lovingly, expressing all we felt. We’d certainly not be the horrors we are in our fucked up states.
What you say James is true, expressing yourself, all you feel, all of your personality is the most important thing - it’s the only important thing, around which everything else can revolve. And it’s what Jesus and I have stressed all the way along in our communications with you, helping you to see how everything you do is all apart of your feeling denial, showing you how much you don’t freely and naturally express yourself.
I’m longing to the Mother and Father to help me see why I’m not doing it. I long to Them to help me uncover the truth of myself through my feelings, and to help me become fully self-expressive. I’ve got so much wrong programming in my mind, in how I relate to Marion and everyone else. I am seeing more every day how I live in a self-made reality for myself. Marion says something to me, just a few words, but I take what she says, misinterpret it into what I think she is saying, what I think she should be saying, what I am meant to hear, and then how I’m meant to react to what I’m making up, and so much so, that when we work it all through, and she asks me to repeat the words she said, I say different words, I’ve actually changed them in my mind, and all instantaneously, all subconsciously and effortlessly, all to conform with how it was in my family.
That’s right, and all of that you need to see so you can understand why you aren’t truly and freely expressing yourself. And you need to see just how real it all is, it’s not something you’re making up. When you have metal circuits that are programmed incorrectly, all you can do is misinterpret everything, because you’re not on the right wavelength. And as you say, you make it all up for yourself creating your own fantasy reality - which is really what is meant by people who say you can ‘create your own reality’. That being what they do (what they are already in fact doing as you all do it right from conception being conceived into a feeling-denial world) - as you have done for yourself James - is create a whole unreal, untrue, self-deluding, fantasy reality.
So in this way I am creating my own reality.
We all do James, how can it be any other way, however all in accordance with how our soul has been constructed, all how the Mother and Father want us to be. However as you’ve been forced to live away from the true leadings of your soul - anti them, so all you are creating is all you were forced to create for yourself, all the falseness you turned yourself into being during your forming years. It’s all now unconscious within you, the patterns are fixed and you just enact them out. You can’t as an adult actually create your own reality by applying your mind like many people believe they can, it all being simply that their soul allows them to add or subtract new beliefs over the top of what’s already there, and it does the creating of reality for you. You are not in control, your soul is - God is. This being one of the greatest truths you are to come to understand and live. Evil says you are in control, you believe your own lies, but you are not in control and never can be, and one day all your so-called control will fall apart as you crash into the untruth that you are. And like it all, it’s all within your soul as to when the day arrives.
So we are all to stop what we’re doing and look to express ourselves fully and truly.
Yes, and that would certainly change things. However you will do it when your soul time comes. When it’s time to begin healing your evilness.
All right, now we’ve sorted that out Mary, how about you tell the Mother and Father to change everyone and make them be true.
That’s not for me to do James. I’m very happy allowing Them to guide me through my soul, I have no complaints. I’m in awe of Them every day I exist, just how it - my life - all unfolds and comes about. And so in no way do I want to interfere with what’s already perfect. And how They are with you James and everyone else on Earth, is perfect - you currently being perfect in your imperfection; or, perfectly imperfect. You can ask Them James - They might do it for you.
Yeah right, and deny everyone all those lovely horror healing years they will have to slog through when their soul says time up. Na Mary, I take it back, I wouldn’t tell Them either to do it, as I wouldn’t want to deprive anyone of those experiences. Mary, I just want everything to be made right, and for me to feel good and live happily ever after, like in those books I used to read when I was young.
Too much nonsense you were exposed to James, and all whilst you weren’t allowed to express any of what you felt.
Marion keeps asking me: why did you say that, why didn’t you express your feelings about it.
And I still, after all these years, can’t do it. She still has to point out to me that I’m not doing it, that I’m refusing to do it - but I can’t do it. And I know I’ve written this now so many times before, but I didn’t do it, it wasn’t part of my beginning, so it’s just not in me. And I can’t make it up, shit I do enough of that already.
And it’s important to understand that you can’t be what you are not; if it didn’t happen through your forming years then it’s not part of you, not until you’ve fully healed yourself of all that’s wrong with you. You can’t change yourself into being how you think you should be. You can only keep accepting yourself as you are by uncovering the truth of your untruth, and as you do, the Mother and Father through your soul will change you when necessary, and ultimately you will become true and perfect.
I think we’re all so mad Mary, all the time and effort so many people invest in their religious adherence and beliefs, and all for nothing so far as growing their soul in truth. All just more feeling suppression and denial. When it could be as you said earlier today, all so easy, we’d not need any of those spiritual or religious systems, just ourselves and our feelings. It’s so bizarre that we’re so far off the track.
Yes James it is, however it is what it is and we can all only do what is in our soul to do. You are doing your bit, expressing at least something of yourself as you carry on with your healing, and gradually more of you is coming out and so more of you is being expressed. And all the repressed anger you suppressed when you were young, that’s all got to come to the surface, that’s why when you read what you do and see parents with their children stopping them freely express themselves, you feel angry, because as you know, it’s you with your parents, and they are stopping you from freely expressing yourself. So your soul organises for that book and those words to come into your life, and when Marion reads them, you now instantly get angry - which is huge improvement on how you used to be, not even reacting as if nothing penetrated - and can talk and express those feelings to Marion.
Yes, that’s the only good part of it, I’m no longer scared of my bad feelings, and when they come up strongly, then I can express them, that part is easy enough for me now. But often the feelings are so faint, I can hardly detect them, yet often these ones lead me to the deeper insights and revelations about myself as I work hard trying to focus on and stay with them and bring them out.
Like tips of the iceberg James, just enough to break into your awareness, for you to feel, recognise and then apply your will to expressing them. And applying your will is very important, by using it being very determined to bring out all you can, to connect with such inner hidden feelings, and liberate them, drawing them up to the surface as if they are proving to be somewhat stubborn. Driving yourself to really connect with them, to get passionately into them, to get onto expressing them, to long hard with all your will to uncover the truth of them. It’s all awaking your repressed and all but dead will-circuits.
Stubborn - ha! It’s as if my own mind fights me over them, it saying no, and my will trying to say yes.
Which is only how it was for you with your parents James, it was a fight, and they forced you to turn against yourself, so now all your battles are on the inside, which you project onto Marion and the world, all that you’re currently seeing about yourself.
Yes, well thank you again Mary. I’m getting tired now and it’s hot so I will go.
Speak to you soon - Mary M.
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Post by James on May 1, 2014 18:01:17 GMT 10
98. I feel like writing... Tuesday, 14 January 2014
Hello Jesus and Mary, I don’t have anything in particular I want to speak with you about, it’s too hot to go to bed and I feel like writing, so is there anything you’d like to talk about?
Hello James, I will - Jesus. I see from ‘reading’ your mind - your mental circuits - that you’ve been reading other writing that claims to have been written by myself.
Yes Jesus, I have. There’s an endless supply of people speaking with you. I’m a bit sick of it though, sick of it all really, all the wrongness and misunderstandings. So as you can no doubt see in my mind, I didn’t pay it much attention.
You’ve only retained the part where I was supposedly saying that ones needs to understand how reincarnation works so as to understand ones ‘life stream’.
Gee, I couldn’t remember that, is that really still in my mind, I must have read it this morning during breakfast. And as I remember now, yes, I thought it was just more nonsense so dismissed it.
Yes, your daily mental actively is still within a part of your mind which Mary and I and other higher spirits can access.
Well in that case, would you please erase it out of my mind, I don’t want to have my mind filled with such rubbish. I can’t bear all the things you supposedly say through these people. It’s all the usual rubbish, nothing that makes any sense, all the mind spirit stuff. It would seem that if anyone can speak to spirits then they are of course speaking with you - just like I am!
Your Indwelling Spirit will erase what’s not needed whilst you sleep, it will be ‘processed’, and all that’s to be retained will be stored as the light of the experience within your soul.
Sorry Jesus, but I’ve been feeling more angry with mum and dad, hating them more. I was saying to Marion that still my mind always goes back to any good experiences I had with them - more with dad than mum. But I only have to think about all I now understand about my relationship with them and how unlovingly they treated me, and anger races up inside me and I hate them to death. And those ‘good’ experiences turn into bad ones.
It can take a long time for the truth you are living to come to the fore, and it’s not time yet for you James to have it all to cement into place. You need some of your past feeling-memories to be retained so as to provide you with further experiences - feelings - to progress in your healing. But in time such false feeling-memories will fade, then to be replaced by your true ones. And your true ones are getting stronger all the time, this you can feel.
I can, I am, it’s no longer difficult to accept any of it. It’s all becoming more obvious by the day.
I see too James you read an interesting comment by a person saying most of the UFO sightings are being faked by various governments.
Yes, all supposedly preparing humanity for an extraterrestrial invasion - or disclosure of some sort, as the Americans say.
And that comment was true. Certain governments are doing such things to distract people from other things that are going on.
Jesus, as much as I keep wanting to read all this sort of stuff, always hoping someone might have the behind the scenes scoop so I can understand what really is going on, I feel I’m getting rather bored with it. I’m tending to think about letting it go and not bothering with it. But I’ll have to wait until I feel that way, as for the time being every day I wake up looking forward to see if today is the day - has it happened yet? And I ask myself, has what happened yet, and I still don’t know. It’s as if I’m waiting for something to happen, and when it does I can then say, yes, it’s happened, now... and I don’t know what then happens, what happens after ‘now’. I’ve spoken about it a million times with Marion, trying to express and go deeper into my feelings about it, but so far nothing much has come up. I’ve seen lots to do with how I’m projecting my stuff to do with mum and dad onto the world, and it’s good to come back to just being angry with mum and dad, letting the world go, but I still hope... I hope you and Mary might say something, Marion will, or something will happen to her that will ‘be the sign’, or something will happen in the world... and I wait... I’m always bloody waiting.
Possibly you are waiting for it to happen within yourself James.
I’ve often thought of that too. I am my own prophecy that I’m waiting to be fulfilled, and I’m just as mad and addicted to it as those Christian’s that keep trying to read the signs. I’ve often thought it’s when I finish my healing, that’s when the trumpets will sound and God will speak to me, and... and then I don’t know what. All more of my fantasy no doubt still waiting to be healed - the truth brought to light.
Well James you just never know. Finishing your healing is a big thing, it’s the greatest act of self-love you can give yourself whilst you’re unloving and self-rejecting. It will be a tremendous accomplishment.
Yeah, but my healing feels like it will never end, so I’m not holding my breath... just hoping everyday is The Day. Jesus, I’m not too tired to keep going, so if you had something else you wanted to say or expand further on what you have said. I seem to be hogging it all.
No James... just touching base as they say.
Well it’s good to speak with you again, and thank you for talking with me. I’ll go now. And it wouldn’t surprise me about the governments making all the UFO stuff up - nothing about anything humanity does would surprise me - it just keeps horrifying me. Which I suppose is a surprise in itself. So I have to change what I said and say it ALL surprises me as I still can’t accept how bad and cruel and unloving we are - it’s just too much to take in. I think I’m suffering mind-strain.
Until next time James - Jesus.
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Post by James on May 1, 2014 18:02:57 GMT 10
99. I’m very angry about not having been loved by my parents. Thursday, 16 January 2014
I’m very angry Mary about not having been loved by my parents. Marion’s reading a book about a family during the war in England who moved to live on a farm to get away from the bombs in London, and the youngest son bought a baby squirrel home, which the mother (the father being away in the war) reared as a pet with no restrictions - no cage, it just being free to do as it pleased in their house and outside with the children, it happily stayed in their pockets and with them all the time whilst it was young. The mother seems very open with them, there for the three children, and they converse all normally expressing their thoughts and feelings. And it’s the ease at which the children can do this, with their mother and other adults, with each other, even with the squirrel, that I’m envious of and so angry about, not having relationships like that in my early life. The daughter is the eldest possibly in her early teems and the author of the book, she being able to easily recall so many conversations she had with her younger brothers, mother and other adults, and I can’t remember one conversation I had with mum or dad, Nicholas and Suzi. I can only remember being outside mostly with Nicholas looking for cicadas, beetles, caterpillars and other insects. I can remember Gran going on and on and mum yelling at me, but no actual conversations, whereas this girls whole life revolves around them, they are what is central to her well-being and love of life, as she loves being on the farm. My family certainly didn’t focus on the art of conversation and expressing all one thought and felt, and all my relationships have consequently suffered. Marion is continually pulling me up asking me about what I said and why, and telling me about alternatives and showing me how deficient in normal conversation and self-expression I am. And I know I’ve written about this before a few million times, but every day I am feeling more and more angry about how retarded I am in such normal everyday feeling expression. And because it didn’t happen as part of my forming, it sure is hard trying to get it going now. I feel it’s beyond me, I can’t do it and never will be able to do it, something as fundamental as learning how to express oneself during ones early life. It’s as if I never learnt how to walk, and now to try, my body can’t do it, it just doesn’t function that way - so I don’t function that way.
I understand James, and it’s what you are to see about yourself. How not being loved destroys all self-expression; how being evil is the negation of all personality expression. However as Jesus and I have told you, all such personality denial will be healed when you’ve uncovered all the truth you’re to see about it. So for the time being just keep on expressing your anger when you feel it, that’s all you have to do, express it and talk about it, about all how it makes you feel. And gradually your system will be rectified - you will be healed. The truth will come, and as you wake up and see and feel it about yourself, just how inadequate you are in your communication and self-expression, so such imperfections and traumas will leave you.
It’s so annoying, so frustrating feeling so disconnected, doing and saying things half of which don’t make any sense, and not even being connected with myself to know why I’m doing or saying them. I feel so stupid so much of the time, and like there is something fundamentally wrong with me, that my brain doesn’t work properly and so I’m fucked.
It doesn’t work properly James, not in those retarded aspects of yourself, which is where your soul has you currently focused. And your brain can’t work properly as it would, were you of a positive mind and will. Nothing of you works properly. You can seem to get around and do what you want, but you’re still all wrong, so it’s right that nothing works properly.
Yeah but it’s so annoying, I can’t accept it.
Not with your mind, no you can’t, so all you can do is keep on expressing all you feel about yourself being this way, and longing for the truth of such feelings.
Mary to change the subject a bit, in another book Marion just read, the woman was badly sexually abused by her father right up until she was eighteen, with her father telling her she will not remember any of the bad things he did to her, even giving her two abortions (he was a doctor) because of getting her pregnant, and incredibly she didn’t believe anything, she completely blocked it all out. But as her life progressed certain things started to break through and slowly with a lot of therapy, dreams and hypnosis, was able to bring up and connect with a lot of her trauma. But the thing about it was she still kept going back to her father, and in the end before he died, she was struggling with forgiving him, believing that if she couldn’t completely forgive him, she’d never be able to let him go and be free of him. And yet she was trying to do it all with her mind, it wasn’t want I’d call true forgiveness because no sooner had she a breakthrough believing she was free of him and forgave him, things would happen to give rise to yet more pain, anger and all the bad feelings coming up from finding out about what a horrible uncaring person he was. And then she’d have to seek professional help, spending a fortune on such help over most of her adult life up to writing the book, all so she could once again forgive him.
It’s not true forgiveness James, it is as you say, just trying to control things with ones mind. It’s a nice idea that closure as they say will come with complete unconditional forgiveness, for how else can forgiveness be, but you can easily read between the lines from what she says showing she’s only making it all up for herself. And she has her breakthroughs, her cathartic purges, her deep insights and revelations as her memories come back to her; and she expresses and purges herself of a lot of repressed anger with her parents, but still she’s not looking for the truth of her relationship with them. She’s still trying to excuse them, to package up all her bad stuff and bury it yet in a different way, with the ‘I forgive you daddy’ label. And that will supposedly keep her happy and even feel good about herself raising her self-esteem for a time, but sooner or later the cracks will come again and she’ll fail in her resolve, having to go around yet another circuit of therapy and purging and trying to forgive. She’s not truly looking for the truth. She understands she needs to bring to light her trauma, so all those hidden horrendous experiences she had can be seen, but all so once she’s purged herself of them, she can be free of it all through forgiveness in her mind. If she were to truly seek forgiveness through embracing the truth her feelings are leading her to see, then she’d first have to completely allow herself to fully hate her parents, rejecting them as they rejected her. So although she believes she’s making progress, really she’s only going around in circles adding yet more mental layers of self-denial. Using forgiveness like this is how you use everything about yourself and other people all to gain the power you feel so deprived of. By saying: I forgive you, you’re announcing to the world that you are the perfect and good and loving one, able to rise above it all and remain untouched; and they, the perpetrator will never rise as high, doomed to their life of hell and torment they should deserve; but, oh no, you can’t talk like that, we have to forgive and forget and move ahead with our lives. True forgiveness James, as Marion said today, you don’t need to work for or cultivate or learn how to do. You only need to live truth to yourself and your soul, to heal yourself and become perfect, and then you are truly loving, you are unconditionally accepting, so there is simply nothing to forgive. You won’t feel unloved, won’t be needing false power, won’t be as you are, so forgiveness won’t even figure in it. And this is where your negative lives are so interesting James, because you deny so many feelings, you are left with ones that are an expression of a corrupt and evil mind, even if you appear to be the most loving and caring person on the world. Because as I’ve spoken about many times before, it’s not love based on truth, it’s love contrived by ones mind, and as such a condition has been brought into being over many years, so it’s going to take many more years to heal oneself of such problems.
Mary, I’m sorry, but suddenly I feel very tired. I thought I’d want to write more, but the heat has taken it out of me. And there’s another hot one tomorrow. So I will stop now and perhaps we can carry on another time.
Anytime James, I am here. And it’s always a pleasure speaking with you.
Mary M
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Post by James on May 1, 2014 18:07:45 GMT 10
100. The real power behind the scenes. Monday, 20 January 2014
It’s interesting Mary that the more I read it seems there is always the misleading public front of governments and the dark mysterious behind the scenes real power, be it the controlling elite who are trying to bring into being the New World Order, or aliens of one description or another. And then there was the Caligastias and Daligastias who were the front spirits directly controlling the Rebellion on Earth, with the hidden more powerful, darker and more evil, Satans and Lucifers behind them, controlling the whole System Rebellion. And then coming back to myself, I have mum, up front controlling me and everyone she comes into contact with, and behind her a more darker, subtle and insidious controller - her mother, Gran. And she allowed me to be with Gran who took me in hand and told me what it was all about - all according to her wrongness and misinterpretation of everything, showing up mum’s faults and yet also saying I must still do as mum says, so binding me to both of them, always having to do as they both say, and yet always not doing what the other says, as mum also told me not to listen to Gran. So there is always this front dominant person and then one behind the scene, which is just the same as all you and Jesus have told me about humanity’s unseen and mostly ignorant relationship with the mind spirits, they too being hidden and the secret controllers behinds the scenes.
Yes James, the pattern set by the higher spirit controllers of the Rebellion is the one that the rebellious planets all follow, they have to ‘do their bidding’ because they were so influential. And like you said in your relationship with your mother and her mother, it’s all there, all so through them you can seek to understand the truth of such a pattern, which you’ve been doing in your spiritual investigation. And humanity will always whilst it remains in its negative and so rebellious state be governed, or rather, controlled, by two levels, that which seems like your master, and the shadow real controllers. It’s been the same in all civilisations since the Rebellion began, just as it’s been in all tribes, with the mind spirits being the hidden controlling ones. And you have it in your own families, with the woman seeming to be in control yet deferring to the man whether she wants to or not. And you’ve always had people, societies and communities trying to break that control, trying to have it more equal, or such as women’s liberation is trying to achieve, have women in control of the men.
I’ve not thought about that Mary, but I suppose that’s what women’s liberation does ultimately want, not just equal power, but to be the all-powerful ones, the controllers. And why not, I can understand that, we men have had it all our way for so long. I guess a lot of liberated women wouldn’t agree with what you said, however in the context of the rebellion, so on a technical spiritual level, that’s what it amounts to, doesn’t it. It can’t be any other way when you feel powerless and so are trying to regain that power through your mind and at the expense of your feelings.
Yes, because it’s not the true liberation of women, which will only come (the true liberation of both women and men) when they choose to liberate all their feelings and look for the truth of them. The current liberation is simply a power play for women to gain more power and so more control, and ultimately to prove they don’t even need men, they can do without them and it’s much better that way, just as your mother in her way showed you by divorcing your father and telling you he, and all men, were weak, whilst she was the strong one, and she could make just as much money and survive and look after you children without any of his help, and it was so much better off without him and his childish and perverted alcoholic ways. But as you also know, she still looks for her fantasy man, as if there is a right man for her, but he will never come because she wants all the power. So she has as much as she will ever have with her fantasy man in you James, because being her child and so under her control, you did as she wanted, you didn’t criticise her and tell her what her to do. You allowed her to have complete control over you.
Yeah, I didn’t have much say in it. And it’s all so sad and pathetic how mum and dad were, and I feel so angry about it all Mary, more of that has come to light this morning for me to work through.
Which is why I thought I’d add that bit, from the personal perspective, so as to give you a little more to think about - and feel about.
Yes, I can see how I am her fantasy man in many ways, not that she saw me in that light, but that’s what she’s tried to turn me into, just without all the sex stuff.
She could only do it with a child, so you must always remain a child in her mind, and so that’s why as you were feeling and saying this morning you still feel like really you’re still with her and have never left and never will leave her, even though you’re a adult man living with Marion.
It hurts my head trying to get my mind around the psychology of it all.
You only have to express all it makes you feel James. And as you long for the truth of such feelings, you’ll see through your soul-perceptions all that your soul and the Mother and Father want you to see - the truth They want you to see about yourself.
Which leads us back to talking about the power we’re all needing and with some people willing to gain it out front whilst other’s want it more hidden away and from their secret places.
Yes, which is why the whole alien agenda is so appealing to so many people. It’s far easier to project all ones fears of ones own family and the power structures within it, onto something as fanciful as humans being controlled by off-world alien beings. And so it’s also easy for the hidden controlling powers to capitalise on the alien appeal, all adding to the distraction and creating more fear so people can easily be ‘saved’ by them, if such a thing needs to happen.
You mean as is speculated by some people in the alternative media, to create an alien invasion and then for those in control to save the people, with the people willingly complying with what the hidden controllers want.
Yes. It’s best to have at your disposal numerous options, as the American’s say, all of which you can implement should you need to.
It all sounds too mad Mary.
I know James, however such things are contemplated by and acted upon by certain people.
Mary, I know we’ve been over this many times before, but really, is there such a hidden agenda being implemented by a hidden controlling elite?
Yes James, hidden agendas on all levels, in anything in which more than one person is, and even within the actual individual. Look at yourself James, at how many hidden agendas you’ve had going on in your mind, your mind sectioned off with all the rival parts vying for control within you, and control over your feelings.
Yes, that’s true, it’s a real mess, and about as confusing as I find reading about all that’s supposedly happening behind the scenes in the world. I guess we’re the same, the world and I in that respect - I’ve not looked at myself and my relationship with the world in that light either. Thank you Mary, that helps me see more about how I am, and it’s true. Marion’s mind is not all divided up with secret bits battling for control over other secret bits, and then all presenting one face to the world which is nothing like what’s really going on within me. I’m the nice guy up front who hates everyone underneath.
You pretend you like yourself James, but really despise and can’t bear and hate yourself. You bite your nails trying to make yourself go away, the you that you don’t like, the you they didn’t like, the you that felt hated by them, so hates itself. You are doing nothing more to yourself (and can do nothing more) than what your parents did to you, for they were the same, and you can only be as they were.
Yes, I do understand we’re a family of deceivers.
Self-Deceivers mostly James. You don’t have the wherewithal to deceive very well in life, not like some people can.
No, perhaps not, not on a criminal level Mary, but still I can see how I try to manipulate people to my agenda. I’ve been accused of being manipulative.
Yes, by a man who himself was far more manipulative than you, and felt he couldn’t control you because you saw through his manipulations, so he felt threatened by you, that you could perhaps beat him at his own game and show him up for the deceitful one he was.
He was so obvious about it Mary, anyone could see it - at least that’s what I thought anyway. But I guess I saw it because that’s what I am.
Yes, how you were trained, so that’s what you look for in everything and everyone, and that’s why you’re always looking to see what’s really going on behind the scenes, and don’t trust what’s up front like Marion does.
Yeah, gee Mary, lots of insightful goodies today you’re giving me.
You’re at a point where I can say such things to you James without interfering in your own ongoing self-revelation of truth. You already know all this now, so I can just put in a different way for you to see more of it. It’s something helpful Celestial spirits will be able to do for people should they want to uncover the truth of themselves through their feelings, and if they can readily communicate with such spirits. Such spirit help will never actually interfere as in take over from you, just as Jesus and I never do with you James - always leaving it up to you.
Just as I wish my parents had treated me.
Yes, but they were incapable of that being untrue and false, whereas we are true.
Gee Mary, what you said about being manipulative, that does explain my relationship with three of the bosses I’ve had, all of which didn’t like me in the end and sacked me one way or another.
You were too much like them James, you both putting on your false fronts of ‘being nice’ even believing you liked each other, which you did on some levels, yet behind their backs believing you knew better, that you could run their businesses better than they. And they felt threatened by you, by the fact that you did actually think about the business and made suggestions, which you believed in your ignorance they’d welcome as being helpful, as such suggestions would only make them more money. But what you didn’t understand was it wasn’t actually just about making money, it was their business and so they had to think up all the money making strategies always being seen at the ‘Great Leader’. And so you were a threat to the power of themselves feeling they were the important ones, the superior ones, they were the supreme controllers, because they ran their businesses as perfectly as was possible - in their own fantasy, not tolerating an outsider to show them up and tell them they weren’t as good as they believed they were and told themselves. They had massive ego’s James, with all their pride being hinged on their delusion that they were the master business man, even though they were only pathetically run little companies that would never amount to more than the lord and king living in his own little illusion. So some upstart like you, someone who actually threatened their precious little self-glory fantasy, was not someone to be praised and looked to for inspiration and ways to better their business and make more money. Deep within them you were their father who was going to come along and say, that’s not how you do it - you fool, do it this way, this is better. You know nothing, I will show you, I am the boss, you are not, you are the stupid one and will never amount to anything. So really James, you stood no chance of having a decent relationship with them.
It’s true all you say, I can see it was like that, and that’s what I fear, that at any moment mum will come along and say, what are you still doing all that writing for, no one will read it, it’s stupid and a stupid thing to do, it’s so meaningless, you’re just wasting your time, stop doing it, go and do something else. So really with those men, it would have better had I just been staff who came along, always looked to them and praised them, never thought for myself, was just a robot who carried out their wishes.
Yes, to have been submissive, someone they could easily control, someone who didn’t make them feel threatened in any way. Which you couldn’t have done, and so didn’t do, so got terminated from such jobs. And because they were only small and personal enterprises, you couldn’t, like so many people can, hide yourself and even ‘fit in’ within a larger concern, one that is far more impersonal, and one that being so is not run in such a dictatorial way, so might even have encouraged and promoted someone who wanted to put in and help the business improve. But as that wasn’t the relationship you had with your parents and within your family ‘company’, so you were never drawn to work in such places, always ending up in the smaller concerns with the boss being the controller of all, and someone unwilling to relinquish even the slightest bit of power... and who does that remind you off?
Yeah, so I have just gone out to work with male versions of mum and Gran... no wonder they all ended badly.
Yes, all to help you see the truth of yourself, the truth of how you were parented, which you’ve been bringing to light through your healing.
And so why I’ve not been attracted to politics and trying to control that way, is the same as what you said, simply because that wasn’t the structure of my family and how we related to each other.
That’s right. You can only do in life what you did during your forming years, as in what you were subjected to, the power you were given and prevented from having. So that’s all people do in their adult lives, fit into positions and places they had in their own families, in their societies (families) in their work, all which fulfil, albeit unconsciously, all the same patterns of their early life. And it won’t be until they start to do some feeling-healing work on themselves, looking for the truth of themselves, that they will identify such controlling patterns, and then allow themselves to change.
Mary, thank you for those insights, that’s great, it all helps me. Marion and I are soon to have breakfast so I want to finish up, however before I go, I want to ask you one more thing, a different topic.
Yes James, by all means.
Being the 100 year anniversary of the Padgett Messages this years, there are a couple of planned Divine Love meetings in various parts of the world. And in their organising of such meetings, I was reading how they of course naturally assume Jesus will be there with them, talking with those who can speak with spirits, and generally shining his love and light of encouragement on all they are doing, because they believe they are doing what he wants them to in the ‘Divine Love movement’. But he’s not going to be there, is he, and neither of you are, for as you’ve said to me, which I feel still applies, you’ve finished such hands on interactions with humanity, and even with something like celebrating the anniversary of the Padgett Messages.
The only thing Jesus and I would be celebrating James, if we actually celebrated at all, would be firstly the changing of planetary ages, but more importantly, the end of the Rebellion in Nebadon. And so no, Jesus and I won’t be in attendance at such gatherings. As we’ve told you, representatives who will be appointed Celestials to ‘speak on behalf’ and ‘even as us’, and even who can ‘pretend to be us - Jesus mostly as they are not interested in me’, will be in attendance, so the people will not be let down, they will get what they expect.
And yet it’s all only adding to the untruth.
Yes, because that’s what they want. And so we readily comply, as we’ve always done allowing the Rebellion to proceed as it so desires. And because these people are still wishing to live untrue to themselves, using the Divine Love to advance their evilness and to live further against Jesus and myself, so we will allow them to continue on in their delusions and with their fantasies. And were they wanting to truly live true, that being achieved by living true to all their feelings, and not a pretension of living true which they are doing with their minds, then they’d soon discover through their feelings that Jesus and I weren’t in attendance; and would ask why, and would be told what we’ve told you.
So really Mary, unless someone is intent on doing their healing, longing for the truth of themselves that way, then all they say is looking for the truth and finding it, is not true. But they do find some truth.
Mostly it’s information for their mind, which they feel or believe is true, and so set about trying to live it. And yes, some people do naturally uncover a little truth about themselves through feelings, but nothing along the lines of what one will do when one decides to do their Feeling- or Soul-Healing James. And so for all intents and purposes, I make the distinction that those people and mind spirits who say they are looking for and wanting the truth but are not doing their healing, are only deluding themselves and not being true to what they really want, which is to still carry on and advance their evilness, their untruth and negative states. Look at these Divine Love people you are talking about. They say they are all growing in truth, looking for it and finding it, and yet they are refusing to do their healing and really look for the truth of themselves which their feelings would give rise to. So it’s all a fantasy, ‘a mental construct’, and nice idea, something they have learnt they should be doing, an appealing practice - looking for the truth, which means they are more spiritual, and so on. But they are not stopping their untruth and looking to give up their controlling mind and all its erroneous beliefs and resulting unloving behaviour; they are not wanting to really follow Jesus and myself, for if they were, they’d be reading your work and feeling and relating to the truths in it, and so setting out to uncover the truth of themselves for themselves through their own feelings. And they’d give up their so-called Divine Love movement because there is no such thing, and just get on living, if anything, Divine Love Spirituality, doing their healing and understanding and accepting their evilness. And they’d not be wanting to have any anniversary meetings, they’d not see the point, they might want to still get together and enjoy praying and communicating with each other their feelings with the desire of working on themselves to further their healing; but it wouldn’t be in any false and contrived way such as celebrating James Padgett’s work and Jesus’ second coming to Earth to reveal his truth. You and Marion are not going to celebrate it, are you?
No. There’s no point - as you say. We don’t celebrate anything.
Exactly. Your daily revealing of the truth of yourself should be what you celebrate in each moment you honour more of your feelings and they guide you deeper into the seeing more truth of yourself. Your every feeling, good and bad, should be embraced in celebration of having such feelings, of being alive in Creation, as being a wonder of Creation and integral part of it.
Which would be all very well Mary if we felt so good about ourselves, and not as Marion and I feel - that there’s no point to our existence.
And when you’re fully healed James, and with your whole being expressing all your good loving and true feelings, then you’ll be able to celebrate the richness and beauty of every feeling, and then you will understand - understand what it’s really all about.
I’m looking forward to it Mary.
All in good time James. And even though you can’t celebrate your bad feelings, they making you feel so bad, you can at least appreciate them, honour and accept them, and in doing so, honour, appreciate and accept yourself more.
I’m trying to. Mary, thank you again - I’ve got to go now.
As always James, a pleasure. Speak to you soon. Bye now - Mary M.
Mary, I feel like continuing our earlier conversation. I don’t have anything I want to specifically say, but I’m sure there will be more we can talk about.
Certainly James - always more. I’ve been monitoring your thoughts on what we spoke about, particularly the one that came up about how none of the religions or spiritual systems really delve into psychology much, whereas so much of Divine Love Spirituality concerning ones healing is all about ones psychological make up and problems.
Yes, I was musing over that. It seems to me such systems are more interested and intent on just adhering to a lot of beliefs, using religious practices to reinforce such belief and behaviour, but no one other than Alice Miller from what I’ve read, wants to go all the way back into ones earliest childhood and include that in their spiritual or religious philosophy. Not even the Padgett Messages or The Urantia Book include it to any depth.
Because they are not about revealing the truth of ones feelings and ones relationship with ones feelings. Ones feelings if one will allow, will guide you into the complexities of the psychology of your actions - why you are the way you are, all of which is of course necessary and should obviously be apart of ones getting to ‘know thy self’.
Yes, it all makes perfect sense to me now, however when I first started out on my spiritual path, psychology had nothing to do with it.
You believed you could learn a lot of truth and simply apply it to your life James, but as you’ve come to see, one doesn’t learn truth and then live it, one can learn all sort of things with ones mind and try to put all of that into action, but it’s not living the truth that comes to you through your feelings when you look to them to show you what you are to see about yourself.
Yes Mary, what you said earlier about people believing they are growing in truth, and yet are not doing their healing, so are not really growing in truth, that was how I was. And I would like you to expand upon it some more if you wouldn’t mind.
The difficulty comes when people do naturally express their feelings and do naturally honour them, then yes, some truth many come to light about how they feel about themselves, nature, other people and God. So one can always be growing in truth through ones feelings, on and off through ones life. But nothing compared with how much truth one will reveal to oneself on a daily basis, should ones do one healings. And if one is shut off to ones true feelings, living feelings generated solely by ones mind, then no truth will result from such ‘unnatural’ feelings. Then added to this is the complex mess of peoples beliefs, ones learnt and evolved, added and subtracted to, throughout ones life. Then add in also all the complicated psychological levels involved, and the fact that you are all focused in the negative, and so any truth that does come to light will very quickly be swallow up into the morass of ones mind, using such truth to add to ones power need and controlling ways. So in the context of some of the Divine Love people we were referring to earlier, they might indeed be uncovering a little truth, and such truths might be in harmony with the truths Jesus revealed in the Padgett Messages, however compared to the amount of truth one will uncover through ones healing, it’s only a minuscule amount one can uncover for oneself whilst one is living in an anti-truth state of mind and will. So many of these people, and indeed many other people from all walks of life who work on themselves or undergo some kind of feeling based therapy, and many of the mind spirits, covert their tiny snippets of truth that may come to light, into seeing them as huge revelations and insights, and believing they are well on their way progressing in their spiritual growth. However they’ve not even arrived at first base so far as embracing the need to do their Feeling- or Soul-Healing. So they might believe they have made good progress when in fact all they’ve really succeeded in doing is advancing their negative state by using that snippet of truth to further complicate and embroil themselves in their controlling mind. All to help them deny more of their bad feelings, all to help keep their fantasy alive that they are becoming more perfect, true and loving, when they are not, when they are still doing the very opposite. I’ve said this before James, but the sincere truth seeker will not actually begin her or his spiritual journey and ascension of truth to Paradise UNTIL SHE OR HE BEGINS THEIR HEALING, UNTIL THEY STOP AND START EMBRACING ALL THEIR FEELINGS AND EXPRESSING THEM TO UNCOVER THE TRUTH THEIR FEELINGS (REALLY THEIR SOUL) ARE WANTING TO SHOW THEM. So until that time, until people have embraced Divine Love Spirituality as you’re revealing it James, they are only at best preparing themselves for their healing, and at worst, simply furthering their negative state.
Mary, why are you suddenly referring to Divine Love Spirituality?
I thought it was time for me to support you more in it James. I know it’s simply the name you’ve made up, however it’s a very applicable name, and all you’ve revealed in it I want you to understand that Jesus and I support.
Most of what I’ve revealed you’ve both told me.
That’s not true James, much of it you’ve worked out for yourself, and what you have gained from Marion, Jesus and I are only a small part of it. And it’s more for you to see what feelings you have by my using the name and referring to in the ways that I am.
Yes, I’m feeling good about it so far, I’m waiting for the bad ones to come. But I do feel good that you and Jesus are giving it the okay, I know you already support me in all I’ve said because most of it I’ve discussed with you anyway, but it is good to think of DLS as being something, something perhaps more than just a name I made up. For it to become a real thing, something people can love doing in their own lives, and possibly even be a part of. I know we don’t need names and labels and such, but still it can serve a purpose and I enjoy having it all sorted out in my mind as to what to call it. Marion as always just goes on her feelings and sees no point at all for making up names, she’s even loath at times to call our healing our healing, that she is just doing this thing herself that is her striving to live true to herself, and it is only her own private thing having nothing else to do with anyone. And she thinks I should be like her and just do it myself, my own thing, only the trouble is none of the healing just comes to me as it all does to her, I’m not a natural having so heavily denied my feelings and being so disconnected from them. So I have to learn about it, then decide whether or not I want to apply what she says; then I try it and see how it makes me feel and what happens, and even see if I can get somewhere with it. And I guess there will be other people like me, who need it all spelled out for them, for it all to make a nice picture and something to keep their mind happy and to use as a framework as they try to get more in touch with their feelings and express them. And I guess there will also be people more like Marion who don’t need all that mind stuff and are happy just to get on with accepting and expressing and seeking the truth of their feelings. So I of course am writing for ‘my kind’, and really as if it’s me out there looking and wondering what it’s all about, and feeling so confused with so many different conflicting things, and I’m wanting to take myself by my hand and guide myself along the road to Divine Love Spirituality and into my Childhood Repression.
All because you felt so deprived James as you were growing up, bereft of feeling expression. You had feelings, but you were not allowed to express them, being made instead to turn your back on them, to throw your feeling-self away, and get on only with your mind; and with only a mind that was acceptable to them, which was a very limited one. So through your healing and all you are making DLS be, you are developing or evolving your mind to suit you - the real you, the you that is feeling-expressive and living with your feelings leading your mind.
That’s what I would like to do Mary, but every day Marion helps point out yet more ways my mind is still in control of my feelings. And as I’ve said before, it nearly drives us both mad trying to work out the complexities of the psychology involved. And it just gets deeper and more complicated.
Of course James, God is very complex, personality is highly complex with the interplay between the thinking and feeling parts of the mind, for really they are both aspects of mind even though we divide them up as being separate things. It is all highly complex, with the deeper or further you go the more complex it becomes. You only have to look to your studies of nature and the natural world to show you that. And it’s the same within yourselves. You will always be going deeper into the psychology of yourself - for the rest of eternity. It would be boring were all the mysteries solved in a few years - what would we all do for the rest of eternity!
That’s too hard to think about. I can’t use my mind to ponder such things like that Mary, not like I used to, going off in my head for days at time considering such far reaching things.
Not for you anymore James, it’s all getting much easier anyway as your mental mind is being ‘absorbed’ more by your feeling mind. And that’s all to help you for when you come into spirit, for then you’ll be in the right mental and feeling condition to live how we live. So with every mental circuit you heal now in flesh, so you’ll be more suited to your spiritual life when your time comes for you to come over here.
And will you and Jesus be there to meet me Mary, I would love that, if it’s not too much trouble for you to come from Salvington. I would love to meet you face to face and see what you look like. And of course to thank you both in person for all you’ve done for me.
Of course James, we’ll be there to welcome you - we all will, all your spirit friends. We’ll be there for you both, as none of your parents or family will be.
Good, I don’t want them to be - that being how I feel at the moment. I might change by the time I die - unless I pop off tonight or sometime soon.
No James, they won’t be there, you’re living in too much of a different ‘world’ to them, you’ve progressed too far in your healing and will be even more advanced in it by the time your death comes about. There are other things, more important to you, things for you to experience upon your death, and those things won’t include your family. You’ll be able to meet them afterwards should you want to, however I don’t think you’ll be in any rush.
Yeah well if I am still feeling as angry with them as I do now, no way would I want to have anything to do with them, at least not until I’ve completed my healing. And even then... I don’t know Mary, I no longer feel like I have anything in common with them, not that I really ever did. And the more I face and accept and uncover the truth of my horrible relationships with them, there’s not much incentive to want to see them again. Possibly if they were to do their healing, then I might want to see them if they wanted to see me, but I think that would only be to help them if I could in any way, I don’t think I’d begrudge them any healing help, for I do understand, even as angry as I feel with them as I do, that they couldn’t help how they were and how they treated me. In their own minds and delusion they think and feel they love me and did the right things for me, and it’s not for me to tell them otherwise, but for them to find out the truth for themselves through their healing. And I can imagine that were they to do their healing, they might want to see me, possibly to tell me how bad they feel for treating me so unlovingly. And I did so much want them to say that, but now I don’t, I’ve worked my way through all of that, so I no longer feel like I want them to say sorry. But if they wanted to, or needed to, I think I’d go and see them, but other than that, I can’t see any other reason to. And if they wanted to see me and were not doing their healing, well na, at the moment I’d still not want to see them. And I’m sure there are ways over there of finding out what spirits are up to if you want to without having to see each other.
There are.
But having said that, really would I want to know what they are doing? I used to want to be a fly on the wall, but not anymore either. I don’t care what they are doing, and as I heal more and let go more of my family and all the hidden bonds tying me to them, less and less do I feel anything for them. However Mary, that is all how I feel right now in this moment, and I know all too well, that in the next moment I might feel completely the opposite way.
Yet still it’s good to express all you think about feel in every moment, all which leads on to how you think and feel in the next moment. It’s all important James, and the more you can speak about such things the better, all to get more of your feelings going. All to help you get to know yourself more.
Yes Mary. I do at least mentally understand. Putting it into practice is still another matter.
I’ll speak to you soon James. All Jesus’ and my love to you both - Mary M.
Gee Mary, you’ve never said such things before.
Times are a changing James, things are moving on - you know, as you were talking about with Marion today, progress is the name of the game, isn’t that what’s it all about!
Ha!, you’re as bad as she is. I just want to progress out of my yuk, but as she says, it’s not about going anywhere, but staying true to your feelings, and forget about whether or not you’re making progress. Where does she get it all from Mary, it just keeps coming out of her. She’s the Living Fountain Of Truth.
Surprises to come James, wonders to see, and in time, many things for you both to do, Marion won’t always be sitting on the couch wondering what her meaningless life is all about and why nothing ever happens.
Ha, that will definitely be a sign of progress!
Bye James.
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Post by James on May 1, 2014 18:09:06 GMT 10
101. Why do I have to long for the truth of my childhood repression? Wednesday, 22 January 2014
Mary, why do Marion and I have to keep longing for the truth when we know how our childhood repression started? When we know it was all to do with our parents treating us badly.
Because James, it’s about knowing the whole truth of what happened to you, the whole truth of your relationship with your parents, and the whole truth of yourself; and to uncover it; and there’s a lot to see, it takes time; and a consistent desire and longing to want to see and face it. So it’s more than just a mental understanding, it’s embracing the truth - uncovering it, through your feelings, so you can FEEL IT TO BE TRUE, otherwise you can never be really sure. And you have to FEEL HOW IT WAS FOR YOU, IN EACH AND EVERY MOMENT WITH YOUR PARENTS AND CARERS THROUGH YOUR FORMING YEARS AND CHILDHOOD - THE WHOLE TRUTH OF IT. And you have to want to know it, so you have to keep longing for it, because you’ve got to focus your will on uncovering it, embracing and accepting it, rather than how you’re currently applying your will in your negative state by using it to deny yourself the truth. You are to want to know the truth of yourself and live that truth, and it will only come to light through your feelings, this we can’t stress enough.
You’ve certainly said it a lot Mary.
Yes James and we will keep saying it - IT NEEDS TO SINK IN, RIGHT INTO THE PSYCHE OF MANKIND; for it’s missing, and until it does, nothing will ever change, you’ll just keep subjecting yourselves to more of the same. It might look different on the outside, but it will just be more of the same truth-denial on the inside. So as long as you live denying your true feelings, not accepting the truth of them, then the worse things will get for you as progress in your evilness. And as you’re discovering James, there’s a huge amount to it. Jesus coming and telling you a few truths, giving you a few parables or a bit of truth in the Padgett Messages is not what it’s really about. That is all very well, certainly, all what’s needed as well, however that is all only the merest tip of the iceberg, just a drop in the ocean of what it’s really all about, which you will discover as you start to venture into the doing of your healing. And up until now, no one, not even Jesus, has revealed the truth of what it really is all about. Saying God is Love and you can long to your Heavenly Father for His Divine Love, is only one part of it, and a part that really can only come into full effect once you have done your healing, so before that happens there’s a huge amount of unknown, that being what I am touching on. And all Jesus and I have revealed and said about your healing, all based on yours and Marion’s experiences of it James, is still only a tiny drop of what there is to your actual healing, what it will involve and what truth you will uncover and see about yourself, each other, your lives, your relationship with nature, and God. And although I am endlessly repeating myself in these messages with you, saying the same thing over and over, still that is the only way to drum it into you, and it’s only the starting point, because the actual doing of your healing I can’t tell you about - what to expect or what it will be like for the individual, it is something every person and spirit will have find out for themselves as they do it. And it’s the GREAT HIDDEN MYSTERY, the truth about doing your Soul- or Feeling-Healing. It’s what humanity is and has been looking for all these years; it’s what has been staring you in the face all along and yet you’ve been too afraid to face it. And everyone goes off looking far and wide, doing this spiritual or that religious practice believing they are getting closer to knowing God and themselves, but they are actually only taking themselves further away from the truth by looking to such untrue systems for guidance, when all they do have to do is look to their own feelings, all those ones they are using their religious and spiritual practises to further avoid.
It sure is incredible how so many people over all these years have not seen it for what it is. So many people are aware of how all our problems stem from our early life, and how we form constitutes how we’ll be as adults, and yet we still fail to put it all together and see that to really heal ourselves we need to go into and embrace those bad feelings we’re rejecting. And then some people are even fully aware of that, that that’s what we should do and that we are rejecting them, and by rejecting them we are rejecting a vital part of ourselves, and yet they still don’t want to do the really hard stuff to follow those feelings right through to the end.
No James, because they can’t, it’s simply not part of Jesus’ and my age, it’s not part of the truth we revealed, so no one can do it. At best you have people like Alice Miller touching on it, heading in the right direction, but not spiritually embracing it as you and Marion have done. And because such people have not wanted to uncover the whole truth, whereas you and Marion do and can do, so it’s happening for you. And as it’s happening for you, so too can it happen for other people who come to understand about it and what it involves and choose to commit themselves to doing their healing.
Mary, I was writing a response to an email I received yesterday in which I said the Mother and Father will only subject us to what we can handle through our healing, They won’t push us beyond our limits, and as we’ve spoken about this before, I was wondering if you had anything else to say about it.
Well it’s true James, and it’s true of what They are subjecting you to in your evilness as well in your healing.
So even though some people suffer such horrors and torments of hell, even bringing about their physical death and suffering untold pain and agony, still that is within their capabilities of experiencing it.
Yes, because if it wasn’t they wouldn’t experience it. And physical death is nothing, just a move from one level of expression to another, and so everyones soul has been created to cope with all they are subjected to, because they wouldn’t be subjected to it if they couldn’t cope. Your souls are not formed with a destiny which might unfold becoming all too much for you to cope with; your souls are you, you are your soul, so all it has planned within it is all you are - all you will be, so all you will experience. And nothing will be too much, even though at the time of course when such intense pain and pressure is being applied to you, you might feel like it is too much, even breaking you down, but still it will all be what you can deal with because it is all you are dealing with.
And if say by some chance it were all too much, and one couldn’t cope with it, what would that actually mean?
In theory, but it can’t actually happen in reality, it would mean cessation of being, you, your soul, and the personality expression of it, would cease to be, and be as if you never existed, this being of course what you’re the most afraid of happening, of not surviving, of being extinguished, annihilated, snuffed out of existence, becoming nothing, all those terribly bad feelings you’ve felt at times James when you’ve been pushed down into your darkest fears.
Feeling so unloved that I cease to be.
Yes, the ultimate rejection, to be no-love, so of no existence. However ones negative and evil state, although whilst of it you feel like this in your worst moments, is actually nowhere near anything as drastic as this, for being evil is state of being, and it is an experience. So whilst you are evil you are still existing, you are not ceasing to be. And even though you push it to the very extremities of unloving experience for yourself, of feeling so unloved, still you will continue to exist, even in your most evilness, and so will continue to be.
Yes I see what you mean, for as you say, even though Marion and I have felt so wretched, so, so bad, and so like we’re nothing, and that we almost don’t exist and feel like we’re about to be snuffed out, still, we’re feeling these bad feelings, so we’re still a long way from being void, from being nothing, no feelings and no thoughts, from no-light, from ceasing to be.
You are very much existing, you intensely feel such bad feelings, you are very much alive and in existence feeling them, and feeling how unloved you feel, and nothing you feel, and close to nothing and ceasing to be you are. But as you say, you are still feeling, and that’s what you can’t stop, you will always feel, even if your mind becomes so shut off to your feelings so you feel blank or feeling-less, but still underneath your feelings are there.
So in a way in our most miserable state, we’re actually feeling very passionate about such bad feelings, or feeling them passionately, because we are feeling so miserable, although such passion is not a good feeling. Yes, we are feeling them with our whole will, I can see that.
Yes, what you mean is the intensity of feeling is very real and strong and true, and it is, you are very much alive even as you feel very much dead - dead in spirit and soul. You feel at times like a zombie, with no life, nothing at all but dead, and yet really you’re very much alive, it only feeling like you’re nearly dead and nothing. So once again it’s all in your feelings James, what you are feeling, and the more you can simply allow yourself to feel them, the closer to the truth of your evilness and your feeling so unloved you will get. And the Mother and Father are in control of it all, They are guiding you every step of the way into your horror and darkness and then out of it; and so of course, all you experience will be simply the perfect experience for you at the time, no matter how bad you might feel.
I understand what you’re saying Mary, the theory, but when you’re in it, and you feel utterly like shit, so fucked, just so bad-
I understand James, and in that state it’s the last thing you’ll be thinking about, when all you’ll be lucky to do, if you can do anything at all when you feel so rejected, unwanted, alone, abandoned and unloved, is keep expressing such bad feelings and longing for the truth of them.
So Mary, for us to heal ourselves we need to find the truth of what we’re healing - why we feel so bad. And for us to do that we have first accept that we feel so bad.
Yes, your bad feelings are the gateway into uncovering the truth of yourself. They are markers or sign posts, saying go this way, accept me and express me and you will become more in touch with yourself, with how you really are and how you really feel about things and about yourself and your relationships with everything including yourself. And that is the truth you need to find. It’s not about the great universal truths of God or Creation or any such picture of how the cosmos works, it’s just about yourself and your feelings - how you are feeling at any given time. What are you feeling now? And are you feeling bad? And how does feeling that way make you feel? And if you are feeling bad, accept that you are, don’t try and stop yourself from feeling bad. And speak about how bad you feel, speak emoting the feeling with the full energy and intensity - so pain - of your bad feelings; speak with your pain, as in allowing your pain to speak, give voice to it so the listener can hear the pain your are in; give voice to your torment, bring it out, the whole energy of it; all whilst you long for the truth of what it’s all about - why you’re feeling this way now. That’s all you have to do, nothing else. And if you don’t know how to express your feelings, long for someone to come into your life to show you. Pray to your Mother and Father to provide you with a friend who can help you. Ask Them for what you want. And ask with your feelings, not just your mind because I am saying you should; ask Them because it’s what you feel you really want. And so in feeling you do want it, ask with that feeling. Be the child of God that you are, and just as child goes to its parents and asks, so go to God and ask.
Thank you Mary. As usual that was all really good, but I’m fading again, it was another intense day, so I’ve got to go to bed.
Yes James, more good deep work you did on yourself, and there will be more of it for you tomorrow, there’s more very important truth for you to see in what you went through today.
I’m going to bed longing to the Mother and Father to help me uncover it through my feelings.
Good, and I’ll speak to soon - Mary M.
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Post by James on May 1, 2014 18:12:15 GMT 10
102. God: mother/father or Mother/Father? Friday, 24 January 2014
Hello Mary-
Yes James, I am here, please go ahead.
I’ve had another big insightful day - as you know, and so I wanted to discuss some of it with you, some of the bigger picture stuff.
Certainly, I’d love to, and yes, I know what you’ve been through and what you’ve seen, and I agree with it all, so yes, let’s speak about it James.
Okay, well I was again reading something on the Internet, a new website by a guy who seems quite insightful and he was saying how some of the latest channeled material is moving toward relating to God as mother/father, or even Mother/Father, saying that God is neither actually one or the other, but both. And the Mother/Father God is known by many names: Jehova, Allah, Shiva, Yahway to name a few - the ones I’m familiar with anyway. And even that there is this Mother/Father God who created us, then above it, there is the One Prime Creator, the Father of Creation who the God of the God’s and is neither male or female. All sounding a bit of a muddle, however interesting that the two layers exist, suggestive of the two layers presented by the Evil Ones, as represented by the Lucifers and Satans, then the next more personal and closer layer, the Caligastias and Daligastias. Anyway, the part that struck me is that I can imagine the mind side of things in our self-denial and self-delusion turning our Heavenly Mother and Father into faceless non-descript personalities, impersonalising them just saying Mother/Father God (MFG) rendering them as nothing more than some abstract universal light or Source or Power, which is how I’ve usually heard people relating to God who have done away with the religions and taken a more New Age approach. All of which is just what evil is, the destruction of the personal, destroying it by preventing the full personality expression of the individual through ones feelings, by looking to use ones mind to control and dominate ones feelings dumbing down everything into the impersonal. So our Mother and Father with whom we can relate to with all our feelings, and feel Them relating to us, becomes nothing more than some mind label mother/father MFG, meaning nothing more than some impersonal Creator up there somewhere in the universe with little or no meaning to us on the feeling level. Just a mental construct, something that we can’t get to personally know, someone we can’t get to personally experience - just an empty Power or Source devoid of personality. And Creation is nothing more than a mental thought by this MFG, rather than the ongoing creative personality expression of Soul, the Soul that is our Mother and Father in Heaven, and the Soul that we can all get to know as we get to know our own soul. And get to know God as we get to know ourselves, all THROUGH OUR FEELINGS and WITH FEELING.
Keep going James.
And so I was thinking - imagining really, that in time, I can see this impersonal mental understanding of God, one which is devoid of any real truth, growing and becoming established in the minds of humanity as people become dumbed down to a feeling-less mind controlled existence. And one which Divine Love Spirituality will be the direct opposite of. So conceivably they might exist alongside each other, MFG and our Mother and Father. A mind or mental or thought God, as opposed to a feeling God; an impersonal God, and impersonal way of relating to God, as opposed to a personal one.
Yes. And-
And I was thinking that as you say your and Jesus’ age is coming to fruition, it would be very fitting should the anti Christ be gay with his partner being the so-called false prophet, they being a couple, the most corrupt version of a soul-pair you could have (not that I have anything personally against homosexuals), manifesting the complete denial of the feminine aspect of truth. Then the breaking down of all that there is as represented by the End Times, for the next age of so-called peace and harmony to bring into being the manifestation of the MFG, the full impersonal relationship we can have with God through our evilness and feeling-denial. And then with all the falseness concerning the ‘good’ and ‘loving’ and ‘light’ side, there will be the real and true manifestation of the personal good, loving and light, as lived through Divine Love Spirituality, as people do their healing and liberate their feeling expression, coming to know themselves and the Mother and Father through their new truth-inspired and truth-founded feelings. And the False MFG, will then be the acme of the manifestation of the mind mansion worlds on Earth, this being how they relate to God, all impersonally. And then alongside this will be on Earth the equivalent of the Divine Love healing and feeling worlds being represented by those people doing their healing, all which when fully manifest, would them move to the end of the next age, the end of the Avonals Spiritual age, and the withdrawal of the Divine Love. Because by that time, humanity would have manifest on Earth what it would be in the mind mansion worlds, as those worlds are always trying to manifest themselves Earth; and so be in a position to really choose for itself, once and for all, which road it wants to continue down: the same road of evil, the road of the mind in control of feelings leading to the ultimate false MFG; or the road of healing ones evilness, striving to live with feelings in control of the mind, and relating personally to a loving Mother and Father. Or not so much in control of the mind, as the feelings don’t and can’t control, but the feelings leading with the mind supporting and willingly following. So how’s that Mary, I didn’t think I’d be able to write it all in one go. That’s all been floating around in my head since this afternoon. So the Avonals age could actually be the furthest evil goes in our impersonal way of relating to God, and yet at the same time, the most personal through those people doing and who will have done their healing. And another thought, so humanity will achieve being as evil as it can by denying you and Jesus and the whole of Nebadon by the end of your age, and by the end of Avonals age, taking all of that denial to it’s ultimate conclusion with the full denial of God as represented by the most impersonal way of relating to God, that being the equivalent of the sixth mansion world.
Sounds pretty good James. There is nothing more for Jesus or I to say about it. We completely support you and agree with all you have said, with how you’re seeing it. And as for what you say about the anti Christ and the following manifestation of MFG in the age to come, we can’t say one way or the other as to whether such things will turn out like that, but symbolically as to what such things represent, it’s all good and very important to understand by those people who want to understand the complete outworking of humanity’s evilness - which is what you want James.
I also understand that of course the anti Christ might not be as I am saying or the MFG religion or spiritual system might not actually eventuate, however it’s a picture I can relate to symbolically as you say Mary, and on that level I can see it making sense, how the mind spirits want to try and manifest on Earth such ideals because that’s how it is for them over there. And as they are controlling being still in their evil states, so they naturally within such states want to control people on Earth, they can’t just leave us alone and let us get on with it.
No, they want to keep maintaing the parent/child relationship as it is in its unloving state.
Yes Mary, I was just going to write that - I probably picked the thought up from your mind as you were passing it to me. We on Earth being the children coming into being, the ignorant and often stupid and dumb child who knows nothing - so we’re told; so needs to be told what to do and how to be - ‘guided’, by our so-called ‘loving’ and ‘caring’ parents - the mind spirits. The higher and mightier mind spirits who are oh so much closer to God and know all what it’s about having spent so many years ‘over the other side’ doing all their ‘great works’, and yet all still refusing to do their healing and face the truth of their own conceit - face the truth of their own feeling and self denial. Face the truth of their continued evilness. And after so many years of being in the mind mansion worlds, they are still evil, still carrying on the same old stuff, and still trying to influence us on Earth with all their rubbish.
More anger to express James?
Yes Mary, it’s all still just my anger with mum and dad. Mum and dad are the mind spirits and they are trying to force all their crap on me as if it’s the truth and they know what’s right and best, when they are so wrong and don’t have a clue. So yes, more to express to Marion in the morning. But that’s all it amounts to, isn’t it, the mind mansion world spirit are just all the mums and dads still trying to force ‘their’ children on Earth into becoming as they are. And I feel like telling all such mind spirits to fuck off and leave us alone down here. Let us be free. And yet that’s the same as yelling at mum and dad to stop putting all their crap on me, and to instead love me, and to stop making me feel bad all whilst pretending that they do love me. Which is exactly what the mind spirits are doing, the say they love us and want to help, and there are so many people willing to receive their ‘help’ and ‘love’, and yet what is this so-called love and help really doing, nothing more than taking them both, the person on Earth and the mind spirit involved, deeper into their negative state. So, so much for the love and help, it’s really hate and no-love, just more evil.
And it’s all true what you are saying James. And please keep going, tell me more.
I don’t know that I’ve got more to tell Mary, I think I’ve run out for the time being. What I do want though is to get to a point where I understand it all, and then don’t feel bad about it. As I was saying to Marion yesterday, God doesn’t feel bad about us all suffering and being evil, for They are after all making us go through it all. So I wish I could relate to it as the Mother and Father do, to see that really it’s all an extraordinary experience we’re all being subjected to, and no matter how fucked we become, how bad we feel, how evil we are, it’s all still incredible, and in the fullness of time, something so amazing that we’ll be so grateful to God for putting us through it.
You’ll only get to that point James in your feelings when you’ve expressed all your repressed anger and rage at your parents for treating you so unlovingly. But once that’s all come out and the truth liberated, you will see it in that light, because that’s how Jesus and I see it. We don’t want to interfere with it because as you say, it’s all incredibly unique, and just because it’s called ‘evil’ and is unloving and makes you feel very bad in your suffering, still doesn’t mean it’s not an incredible experience for you. And something which when you’re fully healed will be dear to you. But you can’t get there by jumping over all your bad feelings and using your mind to try and see it how Jesus and I or the Mother and Father see it. You have to first deal with it, with your evilness, fully coming to terms with it, fully uncovering the whole truth of it. So allowing yourself to feel as bad as you do feel - all the pain.
I understand that Mary. And it’s only that I can sense seeing it all in an entirely different and positive light. But as you say, for now, whilst I still feel angry and are still in such pain, fuck God, fuck the Mother and Father, and even fuck MFG and everything else - fuck it all, because I feel so bad, so much like shit and I hate every moment being how I am. This morning Mary, I could see, because of a dream I had, more of just how I am so impersonal, so un-feeling, I am just learnt mind patterns. In this situation, when this person says this or does that, I then respond by doing this or saying that. I am not inspirationally responding with my feelings, I am all but feeling-dead, just like a moron robot who unquestioningly carries out its program. And even further, that I’m not even my own program that somehow I’ve created for myself, I have just downloaded mum, dad and Gran into me, being a garbled mess of their programs. So I open my mouth and it’s not the true me coming from what I truly feel, it’s just some parroted nonsense that I’ve learnt and think applies in the relevant situation. And I keep screwing up the situations, which Marion picks up on asking me: what did you say that for, what did you mean by saying that, why’d you do that, that’s not what someone would normally do in that situation, that’s not what they’d normally say. So I haven’t got the ‘normal’ stuff under control. I’m a complete mental mess.
And it’s all good James, all helping you understand and come to terms with your untrue state of being. It’s all what you’re healing is all about, all what your feelings are leading you to see about yourself and your relationship with your parents.
It all makes me want to scream and scream Mary.
All which your parents didn’t allow you to do when you felt so bad because of how badly they were treating you. And all those screams are still within you, still needing to come out. So let them out James, no need to hold back.
I wish I could Mary, but that’s the trouble, I am so heavily programmed to deny them, to block them out and to tell myself that I’m not even feeling bad - angry, who me?, no, I’m not angry, I Mr Calm, I don’t feel like rampaging through the house smashing everything to bits and carving mum, dad and Gran into tiny little pieces. No, I’ve got it all together. I’m not psychotic and about to go over the edge at any moment. No, look I’m fine, I don’t feel bad - I never feel bad, I don’t have bad feelings, only good feelings. I’m a good person, I don’t get angry, I don’t have screaming raging tantrums like mum did. Oh no, I’m the good boy; Oh no, I’m the good boy; Oh no, I’m the good boy; Oh no, I’m the good boy - would someone please shoot me and put me out of my misery. The record is stuck, because of a whopping big scratch, a whopping big mental fracture engraved across my mind.
Keep going James, bring it all out. It’s all good. Talk with Marion about it all, express it all to her, and I’ll speak to you next time.
Thanks for listening Mary.
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Post by James on May 1, 2014 18:14:03 GMT 10
103. How mind spirits see things. Sunday, 26 January 2014
Mary or Jesus - or both of you, I’d like to discuss more about how the mind spirits see things, and their wanting to impose their way on us on Earth.
Good morning James, I’d like to discuss this with you - Jesus.
Hello Jesus. Specifically I was wondering about why the spirits want to remain so focused on the physical, enough to want to try and influence us.
There are many reasons, some of which we’ve discussed, however I’ll tell you a few other things which you’ve as yet not worked out for yourself. As we’ve talked about, there are a great amount of spirits who believe in reincarnation. Many of the higher sixth mind spirits believe they have transcended past the need to do it, no longer having any karma to live through, yet continue to delude themselves that they have had many past lives on Earth.
How do they do that Jesus - is it that they make them up for themselves?
Yes, and their indwelling spirits comply. As you understand from The Urantia Book, it’s all very easy for every indwelling spirit that has ever come to Earth to communicate with every other indwelling spirit, so all from different time periods, so it’s nothing for them to ‘transfer’ as you might say, the lives of others from the past, into the mind and consciousness of the one they are currently indwelling should that be required by the soul of the one whose mind they are helping evolve further into its negative condition. Because for anyone wanting to believe such untruth such as karma and reincarnation, they are still wanting to advance their negative state - their evilness and self and feeling denial.
I see, so one is just looking back at other peoples lives, and your indwelling spirit will make it seem that that other persons life is very real to you, even so much so that you believe you lived it. And I guess the same applies when someone undergo’s hypnosis, the person whilst they are under, speaking as if they are living the experience of the person from the past, but still it’s all being orchestrated by the indwelling spirits that are involved.
Yes, with same applying should you want to look into your future lives, because the soul is timeless, and the indwelling spirits are able to work in any reality - the existential soul reality or the experiential personality reality of Creation. So the indwelling spirit can ‘transfer’ future peoples lives to you should you want to ‘see’ into the future, which many of the mind spirits who believe in reincarnation are always trying to do so as to plan and affect their future lives. They believe they have free will, so the freedom to do whatever they want, so they believe they can, and even have to, plan their future lives, trying to make them to their liking. They don’t just leave it up to God and their soul.
I guess they also believe they’ve planned all their lives so far, so why not keep doing it.
Yes, with their planning expertise getting better with each incarnation - so they also believe. But what I wanted to help you see James in answer to your first question, was that because these spirits believe they are to return to Earth, then as part of that free will and control they believe they have, they also think they should try and make the Earth they are to return to more to their liking, hence their meddling in the minds and so affairs of men and women, all with the intention of trying to make Earth life be the equivalent of their mansion world lives. They believe their life in the mind mansion worlds is vastly superior to yours in the physical, and that were you to be able to live how they live, then all suffering and pain would leave you on Earth. These spirits, because they don’t know about so don’t understand that there are higher mansion worlds and all the Celestial spheres, see their lives in their mansion worlds are where they will be living for all eternity, and so believe that Earth life should rightly evolve to reflect their more ‘perfect’ lives. So many of them feel greatly Earth-focused, and even genuinely wanting to help people live better and ‘higher’ mind lives, all to help them stop their pain and suffering and the need to be cruel to themselves, each other and nature. But what they fail to realise is that it’s all because of their heavy focus on their minds, the mind being supreme and the controller and how you make life good; all done by using your mind to control your feelings, to make yourself feel how you believe you should feel, is perpetuating and further causing the very problems they are trying to eradicate. They fail to see that they are the problem, that they are too mind focused, and that their continual mind influence on people in the physical is what actually keeps those people living untrue to themselves and rejecting the very feelings - their bad ones - that are trying to show them the truth of themselves. They fail to see there is something very wrong, and that if they attended to those feelings properly, then they wouldn’t have the need to feel anymore pain nor suffer and would grow in truth so end their cruelty. And neither would they feel the need to reincarnate, with their focus turning inwards to their feelings and looking to uncover the truth of them as they ascend the healing mansion worlds.
So all the different sectors of these mind spirits, like the healers, doctors, the religious ones, the New Agey ones, business ones, the political ones, the family dynasty ones, and all the other ones, are all trying to ‘help’ humanity become like themselves by asserting their agendas wherever they can. Through whomever on Earth is open to receive their input.
Yes. But the trouble is, there are many different sectors and groups within all these sectors all vying for some control. Many of the different groups form alliances all saying they are working together, helping one another, all coordinating their efforts through the various people on Earth open to their help - and that is direct communication or indirect, which often ends up in disagreement and breaking apart of their alliance, causing yet more problems for the people on Earth they are supposedly ‘helping’. It’s not ‘all-loving’ in these lower mind mansion worlds as the spirits in them would have you believe.
I see what you mean Jesus, so nothing in that sense changes, these spirits being no doubt just as they were on Earth. Just as alliances are formed and disagreements... and we all know how it is.
Yes.
And as you said direct or indirect communication; do you mean like how I am, directly speaking with you, and indirect when the receiving person is unaware their inspiration is actually coming from mind spirits?
Yes, and a lot of that unaware influence goes on, far more than people attribute to it. So the mind spirits in one way or another do feel they are able to control people to some extent, only the difficulty is, they can’t completely control people, which some mind spirits would ideally love to do, because the persons soul often has other things in mind for them to experience, it also orchestrating just how much influence the mind spirits can have anyway.
That being a safeguard against our being fully controlled and so enslaved to such mind spirits.
Yes. It’s not allowed, because as you can imagine, then they’d be no point having humanity on Earth if people could only do what such spirits said.
But I guess many of these spirits by transferring and projecting themselves onto us on Earth, are really still trying to live out their negative stuff through such people.
Yes, just as you’ve been seeing that’s what you do with everyone. You are always projecting and transferring your negative self onto others, living out your patterns formed by your parents relationships with you, so the mind spirits are doing the same.
So sort of like those parents who are vicariously living through their children, trying to give them all the opportunities they didn’t have, trying to make their child do all the things they would have liked to have done.
That’s one of the aspects of it James, one of the more obvious ones. And then of course there are all the deeper hidden and repressed ones, all that will come to light as you do your healing.
Jesus, when I wrote that about the various sectors and wrote family dynasty ones, I’d not actually thought about that until I wrote it. But I could imagine that there are huge family lines all living together in spirit, and all wanting to try and control their continuing lines on Earth. Is that true, or are the family lines all broken up in spirit as everyone tends to go more their own way.
No James, in the mind worlds its very true and family lines and inheritance still play a big part in many spirits lives. For a lot of other spirits they do all go their own ways, and such things hold little value, but for others they are all about trying to unite and keep united and strengthen such family lines, with all the usual infighting and intrigues as those in the power positions strive to maintain such power. And then there are alliances between families, and overlapping with their religious and cultural ties, and so on, not unlike how it is on Earth. And spirits form different relationships than they had on Earth, and such things as incest no longer apply, because you can’t have physical babies any longer, and as time becomes less of an obstacle, you might find you fall in love with someone from your family line but back ten generations, someone who looks just as young and vital as you do, and not someone who’s very old, ancient and decrepit. So there are a lot more variables that need to be considered, all to help confuse the mind spirits even more than such people were when on Earth, all helping them advance their negative states giving their minds always more power over their feelings.
So you can fall in love with your sister and... so what... why not.
Yes. There is no longer any physical reason why you can’t. And you could adopt spirit babies, have a family and so on.
Do the royal families and kings and queens still exist?
Not as in ruling countries in the mind worlds or their sector equivalents, as there are no formal countries like on Earth, and for some spirits such levels of superiority no longer mean anything, and are even an impediment to ones mind growth - which such mind spirits believe is their soul growth. But then others do still believe it gives them the necessary power and authority they require, and so maintain such titles. And with some spirits still being impressed by such things, others not so. It’s more desired by people who grew up with servants and in control of many people, and so with great authority, who die and see it as their right to carry on in the mind worlds in the same way, even demanding such spirits pay attention to them. And like all things, some servants now free move away no longer needing such authority to dominate them, whereas others find it an experience they require, just like you hear those spirits and people who believe in reincarnation talking about in one life they will be a king and ruler, then in the next to balance things out, be a servant or ruled. Many spirits want to try all sorts of different ways of being, so look to other spirits to help them. Many people have a very limited range of life experience on Earth - as you know James for yourself, and so seek other ‘types of lives’ and experience in their spirit life. And many mind spirits believe it’s about experiencing every type of life you can, and that you have to, that being part of what one will do throughout eternity, and irrespective of whether they believe in reincarnation or not. Some believe you have to do it all through the flesh experience hence needing to reincarnate, others believe you do it all in spirit. So as there are countless lives lived, so there are countless different types of life to be experienced, thereby eventually leading the spirit - the person - to become a full and well-rounded personality. Which they believe is how you grow in truth. So they believe their eternal existence will be lived in the mind mansion worlds, failing to see that there is more and a whole ascension of truth awaiting them.
So I guess if you don’t see there is anything else other the mind mansion worlds that constitute heaven, then living every type of life I can see would make sense, all so as to become all that you can be.
Yes, you’ve got to do something with all that time. And then you have those spirits who see it not so much as living every different life type, but acquiring all knowledge that’s brought to light by everyone living their different lives. So they are on eternal quests for knowledge, believing that because God is ALL-KNOWLEDGE, when they attain all knowledge, so too will they attain God - be as God is - even becoming God in some way. Becoming the Great Mind. Or, at least part of it, or adding to it, as if it’s a Collective Mind that is somehow evolving, and that’s what existence is all about. And mostly these mind spirits simply monitor people on Earth whom they consider to be great minds, looking for anything knew, any new knowledge they might come up with. And some of these mind spirits do try and influence such knowledgeable people on Earth, hoping to inspire them to come up with some other part of the puzzle of becoming ALL KNOWLEDGE that they can use.
So really, as you’ve told me before, there are masses of different ways to amuse ourselves with our mind in the mind worlds, most of which have some outreach and influence on Earth.
Yes. And new ones being thought up all the time. And all vying for different levels of power and control, some being more overt about it, others more subtle and under the guise of non-interference, leaving everyone alone to be as free as they want. But it’s all more of the same control, because it can’t be anything else when you’re all existing in an anti true love state of mind and will.
That non-interference, I’ve seen a bit of it with some parents saying that’s how they parent, and yet it’s quite clear to me that their non-interference is just as interfering. The Zetas are like that, saying their type of aliens are non-interfering, being Service to Others and not Service to Self, and yet all they say seems to me to be just as interfering, as they are always having to step in and stop or change or interfere in some way with the selfish ones.
Just different manifestations of unloving parenting James. Like your mother, she made out to you that she was like the Zetas (who are only mind spirits pretending to be aliens), believing and telling you she wasn’t selfish, she was more openminded and free in her thinking, allowing you to be far more free to do as you like. And yet through your healing - through your feelings - you’re discovering it couldn’t have been more the opposite, that she was even more controlling than those people she accused of being controlling.
Yeah I know, she so readily judged them, putting herself up on the pedestal, and yet she was full of shit, and controlled me no end. This much I’m finding out about myself Jesus.
And there’s still more to come James. I’ll leave you now, speak to you again, soon. Jesus.
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Post by James on May 1, 2014 18:18:16 GMT 10
104. Jesus with a Scottish accent? Sunday, 26 January 2014
Jesus following on from what we were talking about earlier, and having visited one of the Divine Love forums, I’d like to ask you a few more questions, if that’s all right with you.
Certainly James, it’s always ‘all right’ to speak with you. I only stopped earlier because I could feel your annoyance building to do with the child crying next door, and you needed to do what you did and express those feelings to Marion and uncover more truth about your relationship with your mother. So, laddie, what can I do for you this evening?
You’re making me laugh with your Scottish accent. Well, what you can do for me is confirm if what I’ve been thinking and feeling concerning the Divine Minister speaking to people is correct, that in fact these channels are actually communicating with mind spirits, and not Nebadonia, as she seems to be called.
You are right James, the Divine Minister will not and so does not speak personally (individually) or collectively (as in groups) with ascending mortals who are existing in a negative state of mind and will. She will however speak to you because you are doing your healing and because of your relationship with Mary and myself.
I haven’t spoken with her for ages, and I can’t remember if She told me her name... I might have called her Nebadonia too, as I like that being I guess the feminine of Nebadon. Because as The Urantia Book makes us tend to believe, you and Her are either soulmates; or She is your consort, and therefore not your soulmate because, as one of the Divine Love forum members put it, you’re an avatar, who supposedly has no need for a soulmate, being more stand alone as avatars are want to do.
And once again James, as you understand, all the delicious untruth there to confuse and corrupt and make things even more difficult for you than they already are.
Which is why Jesus I am badgering you and Mary with all my questions so I can find out what is right and true.
And so I will tell you matey, Nebadonia is not Her true personality name, however for the sake of naming Her, it will suffice. And James, She will tell you Her name should you ask Her to. And it might be worth your while to ask Her to come to you again so you can have a little chat, now that you’re more evolved in your soul and further along in your healing.
Okay Jesus, I will do that.
Also you understand, She is the Divine Minister of Nebadon as The Urantia Book tells you, so she is nothing of any consort or soulmate of mine. Mary Magdalene is my soulmate as I am her soulmate, and we both have a very personal relationship with the Divine Minister who coordinates all the mind circuits in our universe. Nebadon is ‘our’ universe, She very kindly coming to help us ‘rule’ it.
‘Rule’ being a very provocative word Jesus, it conjuring up bad feelings for many of us on Earth.
Which is why I used it, in keeping with what you were reading this evening. Mary and I do rule and lead and govern and control Nebadon. Nebadon is our part of Creation given to us by our Heavenly Mother and Father, and it is, technically, ours to do with as we please. And what pleases us is our living true to our feelings so our soul can unfold and manifest us fully and freely and truly in Creation, allowing us to bring into being those parts of Nebadon that require us to do so, and which then allows us to have the unconditional and loving relationships we enjoy with all our Creation and all who choose to reside in our universe. And so as you understand James, our rule and control is different to how you experience and understand ruling and controlling to be in your evil truth-denying states. Our way of ruling and controlling is the same as our Mother and Father’s way.
I understand that Jesus. I’m trying to get all my ‘false’ ruling and control out of me through my healing. So I can be as you and Mary are - true and perfect; unconditionally all-accepting. And I read there is still some conjecture as to whether or not you were born perfect on Earth or were born just like all of us, only able to heal yourself of your imperfections and sins and errors more easily and sooner than us because you are Jesus - God.
Which as we’ve discussed is yet more untruth, for I was conceived, and so born, perfect and true, not being subjected to the evilness of the Rebellion and Default. So it would be unwise to compare yourselves to me in this regard, however wise for you to want to strive to be as Mary and I are - perfect and true. Which as you know, you can only achieve by doing your Soul-Healing. By doing your Feeling-Healing and embracing longing for the Divine Love.
And what about you being an avatar?
Another of those words with contrived meanings James.
I looked it up in the dictionary: Hindu Mythology: the descent of a deity to the earth in an incarnate form or some manifest shape; the incarnation of a god.
Which you can see doesn’t apply to me, as I am not a god or deity or any manifestation of it, and neither are any of the higher spirits that have come to Earth or the mansion worlds, and neither are any ascending mortals or the mind spirits who like to claim they are or are thought of as being an avatar by others. Such things are just more of what’s attributed to the high mind spirits (and mostly by themselves), and people who when on Earth were able to transcend in their mind to the level of such higher sixth world mind spirits, and who have been singled out by humanity as being someone exceptional and worthy of worship and following. Which if done, will only lead you further into the depths of your mind control over your true feelings, so will lead you further into being as evil as you possibly can be. As we’ve talked about, the high mind spirits believe they are avatars - the Ascended Masters and the like, all because they are resident in the highest sectors of the sixth mansion world and believe there is nowhere higher they can go. So in their self-delusion they believe they have ‘made it’ to that perfect state of bliss, of all-knowledge, at-one with mind, and with God who is Mind; or, the Mind of God. And in this state, a state in which ones mind is completely transcendent - meaning, in complete domination over ones feelings and so being the most evil one can be, one feels (believes one feels - such is the power of the mind) like one is God and in a state of blissed-out nirvana; and being in such a state, has no room for any soulmate, any relationship on a feelings level with the truest of friends one can have. Such people who have attained such states on Earth, and all those high mind spirits are all self-consumed, they are having too much of relationship with themselves to want to be disturbed by their soulmate, by feelings, which inevitably would surface. They have worked very hard on themselves by using their mind to banish all interfering-with-their-bliss-and-control feelings. And the last thing they would want is to have to ‘share’ themselves with their soulmate. And so it’s looked down upon the notion of soulmate, it being a weakness of sorts to ‘need’ another person, and to not be completely self-sustaining, and in need of no one other than yourself - your own mind.
So it’s the most egotistical we can become.
Yes, and it’s usually achieved with all the affectation of being the most humble-of-thy-servants, not wanting anything, not needing anything, not interfering with anything or anyone, not harming any living creature and so on. But it’s all too ingratiating and sickening all because it’s all do devoid of real feelings. And in truth, it’s harming and interfering the most one can do, far worse than the likes of Hitler, Stalin or Mao, because it is being the ‘King or Queen or Lord of Evil’ - the ‘God of Evil’, the most evil, so perpetuating, sustaining and supporting all that is evil, all that is the Rebellion and Default. And such people and mind spirits set themselves up on a pedestal with so many people and spirits striving to become like them, they believing they are the True Way to God. But it’s only the true way to annihilation of soul because you are banishing your soul and its expression of feelings by being only mind.
Jesus I just thought then that the Eastern religions, gurus, sages, enlightened masters, and so on, being the truest examples of this we have on Earth, which we’ve talked about before, yet with no one in the Christian religion able to be such an example, like what the Pope should be, because of your undermining influence of the Spirit of Truth - it not allowing people who at least believe in and try to follow you as many Christians say they do, to lose themselves so completely in their minds.
That’s right James, unbeknownst to Christians, because they are - some of them - looking to me, allow my Spirit of Truth to stop them becoming such highly evolved sixth world mind spirits in flesh. My Spirit of Truth keeps people more in their feelings, not allowing them to escape so completely into their mind. They are still nonetheless trying their best to escape, however the Bible won’t allow them to, it wasn’t written by the likes of Buddha.
So are there high sixth world Christians in the mansion worlds?
Yes, but a minority, for most spirits realise that if they want to achieve that level of mind control (over their feelings - so over themselves) they have to look to the systems of belief that don’t include myself in any way, so are devoid of any interference from my Spirit of Truth, not that they understand this. So their Christianity becomes a sort of compromise, a distorted blend of both East and West, so with far more what you’d call Eastern and New Age beliefs involved. But having achieved this ‘enlightened’ Christian state, it’s then very easy for such high sixth world Christian mind spirits to pretend to either be myself - be ‘Christ’, or to even be God.
And what about the Muslims, how do they fit in, are there highly ascended sixth level Muslims as well?
Yes, like the Christians, only far less of them. The muslim faith fails miserably in spirit once you move into the fourth mansion world because women are liberated from its suppression. And many such women then reject it entirely, a lot becoming Christians, leaving it mostly male dominated, which some men spirits find even more appealing as they would rather not having anything to do with women anyway, and believe only by being a man can you attain God.
And so the talk about creating One World Religion, it being a blend of all religions, is really just an attempt from the mind spirits who are no doubt driving it from behind the scenes, to create a better way for people to achieve such a high sixth world state, and a way that presumably would be more appealing than everyone having to give up everything and live like a swami or guru does.
Yes, that’s right James. A way to try and perfect the expression of evilness, to be as evil as one can be whilst deluding oneself that one is as perfect, true and all-loving as one can be. And so being at-one with God - the God of the Mind. It being the greatest expression of Fantasy one could achieve living in the Rebellion and Default.
And so the very opposite of living as you and Mary are.
Yes. Being the most untrue - to yourself, nature and God that you can possibly be. And all whilst believing you are the most true.
Gee thank you Jesus, now I see the whole picture, where evil is evolving to. And such people, and I would imagine mind spirits too, are very happy, brimming over with happiness, not having a care in the world having transcended all what we lower people worry about, and so going about radiating love, peace and joy.
All being controlled and manufactured and contrived by their minds James. It’s a self-made image they construct through all their hard work of spiritual or religious practice, all to affect such love, joy and peace of mind. And when you are of feelings, when you have done your healing and feeling what real happiness, love and joy is like all coming from and based on and expression of feelings, then you’ll be able to see through such people and mind spirits, seeing them for how they really are: very poor sad souls who have denied themselves so much and whose soul is crying out to be expressed through feelings. And you’ll be able to see the ever-present control and domination of their minds over themselves - over their feelings. So such people and mind spirits might look and sound very appealing, however to follow and try to emulate or achieve the level of ‘mastery’ over oneself they have, is only going to hurt you and cause yet more suffering, for one day you’ll have to ‘come out of’ that self-contrived state of mind and will. One day such people and mind spirits will have to do their healing, and it will be very difficult for them to let go their egotistical belief that: I AM GOD. We are not God, Mary and I are not God, you James and all people are not God, we are all only God’s children, this being what Mary and I came to help humanity understand, and to show up the mind control for what it is, which of course mostly got lost as the years have passed because people failed to understand what it was all about back then. But now you can; and so to you my friend, I can tell you, for me to just be alone in Nebadon only with the Divine Minister for company (and I’m not saying She’s not good company, for She is), and not to have the personal and intimate FEELING relationship I have with Mary, would make me a very lonely man - spirit. Imagine it for yourself. If I say: follow me, and that then means you are to emulate me and live alone and as if you are a god, can you not see that you are choosing to follow the way of the Evil Ones for that is what they would have you believe, just as do these high mind spirits. I am saying follow me, embrace your feelings so you will uncover the truth of yourself, which will in turn lead you to the truth of your soulmate, because your soulmate is a part of the truth of your soul. And Mary and I are the highest soulmates you can follow and aspire to be like in Nebadon. All of which will naturally happen for you as you do your healing, as you heal yourself of your evilness - of the control you’re allowing your mind to have over your feelings.
Yes well Jesus, it’s certainly good to go over it all again, it’s so good feeling and listening to all you and Mary say, even when it’s the same truth and information we’ve covered before.
All because you’re resonating with it differently every time we do James, because of the progress you’re making through your healing.
That’s all I specifically wanted to speak with you about Jesus, however before you go, I would like you to please expand upon what your said about no one on Earth speaking with the Divine Minister.
She’s forbidden to connect personally whilst humanity is in Rebellion and Default. It’s technical, as much as it’s Her choice anyway, not to speak with you. (Other than with you James (and Marion) because of Mary’s and my influence - I want you to understand that point. And there will be during the next age a few people She will also speak with as they strive to do their healing. And once one is fully healed then they are free to speak with Her and Her with them, as much as they would like.)
So why is She forbidden to communicate with us?
Because were She too, you’d only add all She said to your untruth, further complicating things for yourselves. Humanity - is living a Rebellion against Truth, so against the Daughter and Son of Truth - Mary and myself. You are not living a Rebellion against Mind, so are not rebelling against the Divine Minister, She representing all mind. And so were She to make direct contract with people or mind spirits who are rebellious, She’d be technically submitting the universal mind, or the ‘Mind of Nebadon’ to rebellion and default, which is something She can’t do. She has to remain perfect like Mary and I do.
Can a local universe or any part of Creation bring about a Mind Rebellion or Default?
No, it’s all done with the truth. But by corrupting the truth, one then moves into corrupting various aspects of mind, just as you are all doing, all corrupting your own minds, so on that personal level, you are mind-rebelling, or rebelling against your own minds. All of Creation up to this point in time, is based on and so about truth, so the truth leads with the mind in support. So all creations of Mind are created to be in support of the Truth. And because of this, Mind creations - angels, nature, nature spirits, the Divine Minister herself, can’t rebel against the truth, they can only follow if truth sons and daughters or Sons and Daughters, rebel. So all rebellions are against the truth with the mind in support. So your mind willingly supports your truth corruption.
Okay, so... hmm, I’m trying to get my mind into action considering what you’ve just said, it being new to me, but it doesn’t want to work... it must be part of its rebellion against me, now that it’s getting happier - or not happier - allowing my feelings to lead the way.
Don’t force yourself James, you might blow a fuse!
Yeah, that’d be the day Jesus, if only my mind had fuses to blow, it’s so fucked up, it nor I don’t know what to think about anything any longer. I don’t even consider it part of myself, that’s how removed and disconnected from all the parts of myself I feel I am. I might have to sleep on it - that’s what you say when it all gets too hard, isn’t it? Hmm... there’s some other part to this... I feel it over there within me... but I just can’t seem to get it. And you’re not going to tell me, are you?
No, I’ve said enough, you’ve got to work it through for yourself.
All right, give me a moment and I’ll re-read what you said, and if I still can’t get it, then we’ll call it quits. Well I’ll try this... so really the mind spirits are taking the rebellion against truth, and so against you and Mary, as far as one can take it, into becoming just mind as it were, so mind devoid of feelings, those being real and true feelings, for such spirits do feel bliss, peace and love, so they do feel something. And so this ‘love’ and ‘bliss’ is a contrived love and bliss as you and Mary have said, so sort of like a mind-love, not a feeling-love. I think we’ve discussed this before too.
Yes, however keep going.
Alright... and so being in a complete true-feeling denying state of mind, one can’t ever possibly get to know the Mother and Father of all Feelings, even though as you say, those mind spirits believe they are at one with God’s Mind. Which is the God of Mind, ah, now that’s it, isn’t it, that’s what you want me to see, that we’re striving to be at-one with the God of Feelings, compared to just the God of Mind. And the God of Feelings is really the Eternal Son and not the God of Mind who is the Infinite Daughter. And for us to emulate or try to become at-one with the Divine Minister, who is really the ‘god’ these mind spirits are trying to unite with and tap into and become all-one with, is like us trying to become like how an angel is, a creation of Mind. But in our case it would be a fallen or rebellious angel. So it’s the same as the Christian’s trying to link up with the Holy Spirit screwing up the Paradise Trinity. We are to go to our Heavenly Parents, our Mother and Father of Divine Love, all through the Eternal Son, the God of Truth and Feelings, all with the help of the Infinite Daughter, the God of Mind, but not going or looking to Her as the One, as God. And so we’ve been led astray looking to the Mind as being the Mother, our mothers, the ones we can go to for love, and for the love we feel we didn’t get and were deprived of. So those mind spirits and all the spiritual and religious systems being manifestations of our wayward minds are all seeking the love we feel deprived of from the God of Mind. But we can’t get it from Her, we are to get it from the Mother and Father, so the true Mother, the Heavenly Mother, and not the Infinite Daughter or the Divine Minister. Yes I see Jesus, we’ve been made to look to the mind, our minds, as our source of love, and because we can’t actually find love there, we have to make it up for ourselves by using our minds to do so. When in fact we’re meant to look to our feelings to show us the way to the true and real Source of love, from within our own heart and from the Heart of All Creation, our Paradise Mother and Father, the God of Love.
That’s right James, you’ve been made to turn away from the true source of love, the Source that will make you feel truly loved. Your parents turned you away from their source of love, from their hearts, from themselves, from their feelings, all because they were denying their own true feelings and so weren’t truly self-loving. And so because you were denied your parents true natural love, so you don’t know where to look for it; and you can’t look to yourselves because you are rejecting and rebelling against yourself and so denying so many of your feelings. And you can’t even properly look to the Mother and Father for it because even though Mary and I have told you, you can long to Them for Their Divine Love, unless you do your healing, you’ll still remain with your mind in control of your true feelings.
Yes, so it’s what I’ve seen all along, only using slightly different terminology.
Yes, you’ve come at this time around from your feelings, and not from your mind. So now from your feelings you can integrate more of your understanding from The Urantia Book, but using more appropriate terminology, that which expresses more from the feeling side of things.
So The Urantia Book has been crafted to express such notions and concepts more from what could be called a mind point of view.
Yes, it had to, all to be in keeping with the mandates of the Rebellion and Default. Just I had to also with James Padgett. And part of your work is to work out the mind way of seeing things and then ‘convert it’, so to speak, into a more feeling way. And even though to the reader this all might still sound highly intellectual, still it’s from and with your feelings James that you’re now coming to it all, with your mind following your feelings rather than your mind dominating them. And as you are an example of how the mind can still enjoy a very enriched expression whilst following ones feelings, and in fact the more one allows oneself to be feeling led whilst longing for and uncovering ones truth through ones feelings, so the more ones mind also evolves to articulate ones increased feeling awareness and mental state. So you learn based on your feelings, not just learning by rote cutting out and rejecting your feelings.
As how it was for me in my family and at school.
Yes.
Jesus, I think my poor old mind having to come to terms with all of this is all but done in. So I had better sign off and give it a rest. I’ve learnt from experience what effect you have on my mind and whole system once I stop speaking with you, often suddenly feeling so overwhelmed with tiredness.
I’ve kept my light low James, you’ll not be so affected by me tonight, it’s all your own doing, your own mental circuits having to work having been reprogrammed. You’ve had to break your mind down sufficiently through your healing years so as to end its control over your feelings, so that’s why some months back you could hardly think, but now it’s starting to come back to life, and tonights workout is a sign of things to come for you. Your mind is fine, finding it’s rightful place now as your feelings and feeling expression becomes stronger, as you feel more confident in your feelings.
I have been feeling that way more lately.
Yes, and it will continue to grow. So I will leave you now, and speak to soon. Much love to you and all my love and blessing you to and Marion. Jesus - who is not God. Just Jesus.
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Post by James on May 1, 2014 18:20:51 GMT 10
105. I love you Mary and Jesus. Monday, 27 January 2014
Mary, I’d like to go over some of what Jesus and I spoke about last night, if you wouldn’t mind.
Not at all James, please go ahead.
Firstly I want to once again thank you both, you have helped me no end, and last night with Jesus took me to new depths within myself, and all you help me see about myself and my healing, I love how you both work with me, as I’m slowly waking up to see the subtly of your approaches - your coaching, I’d best describe if at the moment. I love you both.
And as it occurred to you James, we are well versed in all you and Marion are to go through, so we’re coming from a more enlightened frame of mind, whereas you’re both coming at it completely blind, having no idea as to what’s about to happen next. So it’s easy for us to shepherd you along, a bit of a nudge here and point in this direction there - all that sort of thing. Yet all so long as we don’t overstep our boundaries directly interfering with your soul growth and development.
Of which I am so grateful to you for, I can feel you holding back and allowing me to come up and work and push forward; I really do appreciate you in your allowing me to do it all.
Unlike your parents and grandmother James who didn’t allow you to do anything for yourself, not even think for yourself, only allowing you to go off into fantasy land, but never there for you wanting you to freely express all you thought and felt.
That’s right, and it’s a huge difference, all the difference in the world. Had I had you and Jesus as my parents I’d certainly be a lot different - that being the understatement of eternity! So thank you both again, thank you so much, I can’t thank you both enough. And it’s been so wonderful just to have you both as such constant friends, even in this limited capacity. Mary, I wanted us to go over the Paradise Trinity in this more simplified version I spoke with Jesus about last night. Simply it consisting of; The God of Love: our Mother and Father - They being the First Personalities of Paradise. Then the Second Personality of Paradise, being the God of Feelings - the God of Truth, with truth arising from feelings; the Person of the Eternal Son. And then the Third Personality of Paradise, being the God of Mind - the Person of the Infinite Daughter (Spirit). And that we’re to ascend to the love of our Mother and Father by embracing our feelings - the Son, and so allowing our mind - the Daughter, to reveal all the necessary information, and giving us the ability of expressing ourselves - our feelings. So with the mind in full support of our feelings. And not the other way around, which is evil, where we look to the mind as being God, and deny our true feelings, replacing them with ones our mind has made up for us. So in this relationship between these aspects of our mind, feelings and the truth, we can never hope to relate lovingly or feel truly loved by our Mother and Father. That’s about how I see it all at the moment. There are other refinements, but I’ll leave them to my diary, as they would probably only confuse readers of these messages, more than they might already be confused.
I understand James, and it’s more than enough what you’re saying. One can gain the general picture and that’s all that’s needed. As long as one understands that by looking to ones mind to lead, as it being God, one will be living against and so untrue to oneself, and by doing so will never be truly happy, living at best in an artificial contrived state of mind. And with no way of attaining Paradise Perfection, so with no way of growing in true love with and from your Heavenly Mother and Father. And that all people and mind spirits relationships with God, even if they are longing for the Divine Love and calling God their Mother and Father, are still only expanding their minds and furthering their self- and truth-denial, still taking themselves further away from God, and not achieving what they believe they are doing. And only by doing your healing, your feeling- or soul-healing, can you change this way of being, and so let go of and eventually end your minds control over your feelings, and so become true and able to develop and true relationship with yourself and with God. That’s the essentials of it James, as you know, and that’s what one has to understand so as to know in which direction one is to face to get on with ones ascension of truth to Paradise; instead of going off on all sorts of tangents and false ways that only lead to dead ends, all deluding yourself that you are getting somewhere, when all you’re doing is expanding and strengthening the mind control over yourself you’re subjecting yourself to.
All of which we’ve gone over about a million times.
Yes, but as there are so many different aspects to it, and so much confusion about it all James, all million being necessary. And millions more to come.
Whenever I think I’ve had enough of it all and don’t want to type another word, on again comes the urge.
All so you can work it all out for yourself James. Your moments of having enough are when you’ve exhausted the level you are currently on, then you do more soul-healing work on yourself, you grow and change, and so new inspiration to write, to express all you’re going through, comes up. It all being part of your souls expression for the time being.
You mean the writing might actually one day finish.
It’s possible, nothing goes on forever.
Okay, but in the meantime I want to ask you, what would you say Mary, is it: nature or nurture?
I would say James that it’s your soul. And your soul utilises both nature and nurture, not that there’s much nurturing going on in your early lives being conceived into a love and truth denying state of mind and will. Your soul is the orchestrator of all, and so to try and narrow life down to one or the other is pointless, as your soul is going to utilise all at its disposal and all the time, all in accordance with the Light Pattern it has encoded within it. Your Mother and Father have created you to be as you are, and so you will be as you are, you can’t be any other way than that. But you can come to love yourself completely, having healed all your denial and self-hated and mind delusion, this being achieved through your full self-acceptance as you do your healing.
And Mary, why does Jesus sometimes come to me in a jovial way, calling me laddie and matey and such things. I have been able to see that he’s helping me to get more in touch with how dad was-
It’s all part of what you need at that point in time James, all to help create the environment that impacts upon you giving rise to the experiences you need to help bring up more of your repressed feelings. And if by his doing this makes you feel good or bad feelings, then you know what you can do with such feelings. It’s all part of our involvement with you James, we are to impact upon you in a certain way, helping to provide the nature and nurture you require. We are part of the nature, that inherent deeper part of your soul-nature that relates to us, which as yet you’re not wishing to disclose and make public, and we also provide part of your nurturing environment for you to accept your feelings, even give rise to certain feelings, all so you can express and uncover their truth. And there are other reasons as to why we are so closely involved with you personally and why you keep wanting to ask us things and maintain that involvement, all of which have to do the higher spiritual and soul aspects of your work.
Yes, I can vaguely perceive what you’re getting at. I’ll have to give it some more thought.
No need James, as you’ll be giving it more feelings, and they’ll lead you to all you need to see about it, which will be all you need to see about yourself.
Yeah all right, that sounds much better. So I’ll leave it for now and see what comes.
Yes, and with that I will bid you farewell and speak to you soon. Love, Mary M.
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Post by James on May 1, 2014 18:28:02 GMT 10
106. More about the ‘Divine Love people’. Tuesday, 28 January 2014
Jesus, I just had some more thoughts about the Divine Love people and how they mostly are steadfastly adhering to the Padgett Messages, and about all you and Mary have told me concerning how humanity is to further deny you and Mary by using the Divine Love and the truth of consciously longing for it, to do so. So with the Christian churches, they too are denying the Divine Love, so the Mother and Father, and the Truth - as represented by yourself and Mary, all unconsciously, not being aware they can specifically long to the Mother and Father for Their Love. And now since the Padgett Messages, people are aware of being able to long to God for (mostly His) Divine Love, and by refusing to do their healing, are consciously denying the Mother and Father and you and Mary. Even though both the Padgett Messages people - I’ll call them that - and the Christians, look to you as their leader.
Yes James, that’s how it is, and that’s how it’s to be. Humanity is to fully explore its truth-denial, fully manifest and outwork it, so there will continue to be those in the Christian camp who do so unconsciously, with many of them longing for and receiving the Divine Love into their souls, yet remaining ignorant of the truth of what they actually doing; and then those other people now consciously longing for the Divine Love, but using it to further their truth-denial. Ones truth-denial being the same as ones self- and feeling-denial.
I know we’ve talked about this before, but what came to my mind I thought added a bit more light on it, but now I’m not so sure, I can’t even remember what came to my mind, so perhaps it’s just saying what we’ve already said.
It’s more for you to understand fully James, this part of the Rebellion, that involving directly the Divine Love.
And so because it is only adding to ones rebellion and denial, is that why you didn’t mention anything about the healing side of it in the Padgett Messages?
Yes, it wasn’t my place to. I only had to re-reveal the truth of the Divine Love. And I couldn’t say that unless you also do your healing you’ll only be using the Divine Love and so the Father to further your evilness. I said the Divine Love will take all ones sins and error away, only I neglected to say specifically how that will come about, that being in conjunction with the doing of your healing. And those people like yourself who’ve come to work this out for themselves based on their life experiences, to understand they have to do the hard work and that God is not magically going to heal them, are the people who are consciously stepping over the line, these are the people saying they no longer want to be as they are - in their evilness. And they will embark on their healing. And if they read your work it will help them put things into perspective, but they’ll still be able to make some headway taking responsibility for their own pain. Those people who just want God to take all their suffering away, are not taking full responsibility for their pain and suffering - for themselves, for they are not choosing to ask themselves: Why am I feeling bad; what is it within me that’s not right, this being what everyone has to one day come to within themselves. And by doing so, then want to uncover the truth of themselves, of their pain, of why they are not right.
Yes I see what you mean. So these people are really just wanting God, or their parents I suppose, to come along and make them all better.
Yes, that’s what they want. So they are still ‘buying into’ as you might say, the negative unloving patterns of their parents, they are still choosing to ‘play the game’. And so they are still wanting some power within their parents power regime, not wanting to relinquish such false power, uncover the truth of their love-less, and more importantly, truth-less, relationship with their parents. So they are not wanting to uncover the truth of their own evilness: Why am I evil? So they will continue on avoiding their bad feelings, denying them, and doing all they can to pretend to themselves that they are on the right track, the very track they believe I am encouraging them to be on. However I am not encouraging them this way, they have made that all up for themselves. I have only revealed the necessary truths about the Divine Love, I’ve not said how they are to then live with the Love. That part Mary and I leave up to you. And of course if you say you want to go in this or that direction, we’ll say, fine, yes, go that way, because we’ll only support you in your evilness as we’ll support you in your healing. We are unconditional love, we unconditionally accept and love you all, and especially in your evilness, just as the Mother and Father do with Their Divine Love; so we don’t impose or tell, or demand, or even make wilful suggestions as to what you should do. We do however make wilful suggestions with you James, because you’re already heading this way, so we’re doing nothing more than supporting and encouraging you.
So if I decided to stop my healing and go back to being evil again, you and Mary would help me do that?
Yes, we’d say, well if that’s what you want to do, you can do that, and we wouldn’t stand in your way. However that’s not to say we’d openly keep communicating with you helping you become more evil. We wouldn’t do that as we personally don’t want to actively support evil, and so we’d end our relationship with you; and you might understand that, or like what a lot of people do who start off in the right direction but then turn against it, just keep believing and then pretending you are still speaking with us, when you’d only be speaking with mind spirits or your own mind.
Do many people start off in the right direction, that being I guess looking to their feelings, but then stop and go back the wrong way?
Yes, because they soon come up against the pain and too many bad feelings, which they believe if they allow themselves to feel will overpower and consume them, so they quickly reassert their minds control and move on denying their bad feelings again, often affirming to themselves they are now more loving, have made good progress, have forgiven those people whom they were angry with, and so on. You’ve seen people do those things, you read it on their forums, you even saw it in your own family.
Yes, and I have tried to do myself, early one, before I met Marion.
Yes, but you didn’t have the necessary mind denial patterns and beliefs to enable yourself to follow through with it. Your parents did too good a job of making you powerless so you couldn’t use your mind to fight off such bad feelings when they became too much for you. So you fell in a heap as you say, that being around the time when you met Marion. She came into your life to help you see that it was right that you felt so bad, and it was right to have your bad feelings - because you had them, you are them - they are you, and that it was wrong to keep trying to deny them, so the right way is to go with them, to not fight them, to let them come up and be there, and to express them and seek their truth.
Yes, she sure did help me see that, it being the real turning point in my life.
Yes, because you then chose to start to take responsibility for your pain, suffering and feeling-denial. And so you chose to no longer be as you were - evil. And so you started your healing. You started to end your truth and love denial.
Yes. Jesus, it’s so hot and my computer is straining, so I will sign off for the time being, and possible carry on later if it cools down.
All right James, speak to you then.
The cool change has come, so it’s a little cooler and I feel like writing some more. Jesus, is that all right with you?
Yes James, you’ve had a hard time of it this afternoon.
Yes, so much anger is repressed in me, and once I stopped speaking with you, I was so angry at mum and dad for not fixing everything, for not making everything all right. It was exactly as you said, I was raging at them and God because they are the boss, mum and dad, even making out to my little mind that they were god. And as they made me be how they wanted and demanded I be, so the same should apply to them, and I was demanding they make everything be good. And that includes being nice and loving to me, and to stop making me feel bad, and to take all my pain away - just as you were saying. And the anger kept coming all afternoon, but it’s so difficult for me because it’s down deep in me, like in the pit of my stomach, and I’m not just up there and out there raging with it, I feel it simmering away and I can’t bring it up. I try and talk about all I’m feeling hoping to connect with it, but as usual I don’t even really know why I’m feeling so angry - just angry with them, with everything, with myself for being so fucked and full of this repressed anger I can’t express. And later it moved to just feeling how much I come from people who were all heavily repressed in their anger. Mum and dad, my four grandparents, two of the men dying of bone cancer (the other of lung cancer), it’s so deeply repressed. And mum and dad having sex in their ‘love’ for each other, which is only their vying for power over each other, and so I come into life a product of their repressed anger, of probably generations of it, long family lines of the bloody stuff, all of which has just got pushed down deeper and deeper. Then I started to long to the Mother and Father to help me see the truth of my anger, and I starting feeling like I was a baby and so angry, screaming and crying, and yet with no one caring, and for so many hours, days, all those early months and first couple of years; and even feeling I was angry in the womb, coming into life with a stomach ulcer as I was already full of unexpressed and repressed rage. But I can still feel it there, like a smouldering cauldron deep down inside me. I just wish it would all erupt out of me, I’m so tired of feeling it and not being able to really get into it. When Marion is angry she’s onto it and easily able to express it knowing often instantly what it’s all about, but I flounder around not having a clue most of the time. So I can see as you were saying how I’m angry with God for not fixing me, like you said to James Padgett, but how it’s all a projection and transference onto the Mother and Father, all because I’ve not wanted to face the truth that it’s all mum and dad. They always deflected everything: they were not bad, they were the good ones; I was the bad one, everyone else was the bad ones - they were perfect. And you know Jesus, I don’t know if I’ve said this before, I probably have but like everything else I’ve forgotten I have, but that’s it, isn’t it, that’s really what this is all about, that mum and dad said they were perfect, even more perfect than God, saying it in sublime ways, not just openly, but giving me that impression. And so they are beyond reproach, I can’t blame them, I can’t be angry with them, they are the Good Ones, the Never Do Wrong ones. And all that shit about we’re the Great Ones and you’re not, always so competitive, all a power play, when all along they are the most imperfect ones in my life, fucking me up so much, damaging me, making me into the nightmare of an evil person that I am. So they are the Bad Ones, Always Do Wrong, and NOT the Good Ones. So once again I’m focused on the wrong perfect ones, not on the Mother and Father, but on mum and dad; and shit, what a laugh, it’s enough to make you sick, or to cry for the rest of eternity - the sheer balls, the audacity of them to make such a claim, and yet they are the parents, the parents know all, the parents can never be wrong, the parents are always right and perfect. The parents are to loved, honoured and obeyed. That is what it’s all about isn’t it? Looking to their evilness as being perfect, so looking to evil as being perfect, when it’s not; and not looking to where the real perfection is, denying that, denying the truth, denying my true perfect feelings and living a lie, making up all this shit for myself about how I am, how I’m in control, how mum and dad are so good, and how much I love them and they love me, when it’s all shit; and they don’t love me and I don’t love them, and there can’t be any love because we’re all imperfect. So if anything: we’re all Perfectly Evil in our evilnesses. So we’ve got it all around the wrong way - again!
It looks like you’ve had a very productive day James.
That’s all just coming to me now, and I guess I’ve got my anger to be grateful for that, for helping me see more of the truth of myself and the truth of how we all are.
Yes, and it’s exactly right all you’re saying, there’s a lot to it all. But in short, it is about looking to evil as being perfect, looking to perfect your imperfection, or lying to yourself that you are perfect when you’re not.
Yeah well talk about being screwed up. That’s how I feel, constantly demented most of these days. So fucked up in my mind, so imperfect that I’m a joke. And to think I took it all on from mum and dad and Gran, all the shit about being perfect and superior and not needing anything or anyone, being able to do it all myself and know it all myself - yeah right, who the fuck was I kidding.
I think you’re able to articulate some of that repressed anger now James.
Yes, you might be right about that Jesus, or probably it’s just more of it, and I wish I could type faster, it’s wanting to race out of me. Ah, I’m feeling better again, the more I see, yes, they made me worship evil, worship imperfection and believe the being imperfect was being perfect. So all my fucked ways I have believed were right and true and good and perfect, which Marion has systematically pointed out to me, are not - they are the error of my ways. And talk about having a million errors, nothing of me is right and true, I’m full of imperfection - I am mega fucked; and how can I not be coming from the likes of mum, dad and my grandparents. And to think they considered themselves better than and even above God, fuck me!
Which is what you all do in your negative states, it being what the Lucifers did, it being what the Rebellion is all about. They are the Gods, not the Mother and Father. They are the ‘Great Ones’ of Nebadon, not Mary and myself. They know what’s best with their mind, better than the truth of their soul. They are perfect and all else is imperfect, and they will come and show you the ‘Light’ and the ‘Way’; because of course, you will need their help to see your way clear of being true to yourselves and all those feelings that are trying to show you the truth of yourself, nature, God, and even them. Oh no, you don’t want any of that nonsense, cast all that truth aside and embrace the ‘New True Way’, embrace your ‘True Freedom’, and ‘Truly Liberate’ yourselves, and so follow us to the ‘Promised Land’, we’ll show you the way. We’re your true mother and father spirits, your true Gods - where the Lucifers, so worship and revere that name! Come and be with us, the ‘True Loving’ ones.
You saying that Jesus helps me see that really mum and dad have helped me follow the Lucifers becoming one of the Devils minions. And I’ve seen all of this before, and now I’m feeling demented again, so many bad feelings to feel and accept.
Yes James, keep going, that’s all you can do. And it’s all good, and even though you’ve seen it all before, you’re coming at it from a different angle, and more so every time you go around the same circuit. You’re feelings are leading you this way and that, all so you can uncover the truth - every little bit; so even if you’ve seen it before, you’re still adding more to your picture of self-understanding, it all steadily revealing the truth of yourself to yourself. And that is really what it’s all about.
Thank You Jesus, thank you once again.
My pleasure James. Go and express more of your demented mind to Marion.
I will. I’ll speak to you soon.
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Post by James on May 1, 2014 18:41:10 GMT 10
107. A visit from the Holy Spirit. Wednesday, 29 January 2014
I was sitting on the couch talking with Marion and looking out the window at the watties bathing (little wattlebirds), when I suddenly felt the distinctive presence of the Holy Spirit and the Divine Love start coming into me. I’d not longed for it at that moment, but this periodically happens, the Holy Spirit coming when I’ve not been specifically longing for the Love, but it hasn’t happened for some months. Anyway, as I was receiving the Love I started thinking about the Divine Minister and what Jesus said the other day about possibly speaking with Her, so I opened myself up and asked if She would like to speak with me.
DM: And yes James I would be delighted to speak with you now. So, what shall we speak about?
Well, I was wondering if your name is Nebadonia?
DM: No, that’s been made up, however I don’t mind what you or any spirit wants to call me, all so long as they truly understand who I am and what my role in Nebadon is, a little of which is revealed in The Urantia Book, but most of which people and mind spirits have misconstrued or attributed to me, I don’t do.
Okay, so do you have a preferred name; what about one I can call you, I can’t remember if you told me last time we spoke.
DM: I did, but I’ve changed it since then.
Oh, so your name changes! What, with your whims... you’re sounding reminiscent of the nature spirits.
DM: We have a lot in common, they being micro versions of myself.
Creations of Mind?
DM: Yes. I however are their ‘mother’ (and father), the ‘Divine Mother Mind’ (and Father Mind) of Nebadon, with the mother part simply referring to the nurturing aspect of my personality. There is also what could be called ‘Divine Father Mind’, and that’s Me too - though it’s a bit confusing.
You don’t actually have a partner, as in how we have soulmates.
DM: No, nothing like that, being of Mind creation it’s not so important, I don’t relate to Creation like that, I don’t need to grow in truth or light, I am more what you’d say self-sustaining. I grow in experiential awareness, and I am very personal, however not even like the angels I create who do function and exist in pairs. So I am the Daughter of the Infinite Daughter if you want to assign a sex to Me, which you can do, there’s no harm in that, it’s all how you relate to Me and I to you.
Yes, I sort of see You like our Local Universal Mother, but I can also, now that I think about it, ascribe or imagine you being also our Local Universal Father. I used to believe You were like our universal mother and Mary and Jesus our father, but that now doesn’t seem right in that it’s too confusing for the Feminine - for Mary being both a father and daughter. So perhaps we’re not even meant to assign gender, perhaps it’s not about that, so perhaps I won’t bother about it. But then again, perhaps I’ll just leave you as the ‘Divine Mother of Nebadon’, and I know what I means. And that’s not to confuse you with the Divine and Heavenly Mother, but the local universal mother spirit who sends to us the Holy Spirit when we need more Divine Love in our soul. Which is what you just did with me, isn’t it? That was your doing?
DM: Yes, in response to your souls needs and upon command of the Mother and Father, for I am in direct communication with Them all the time, and so know when They want to give Their love to any of their Creation.
And so my soul just needs what - a top up? Why at this time did you send the Holy Spirit to me, and it was only for a brief time.
DM: It was because of the healing work you’ve done on yourself, the latest season of it, which has spanned from the last time I directed the Holy Spirit to you. When you receive the Love, it’s sort of like your soul is then changed for all time into that new state that it - you - have evolved into you. So once you receive the Divine Love throughout any stage in your healing, it’s as if you can’t go back on yourself, even should you want to stop doing your healing and return to your former life. It’s a statement, and it’s more than just a technical matter, that you’ve progressed this far; and your progress, is, if you like, ‘locked in’. And it’s the same for Marion, only she’s not so aware of the Holy Spirit and the Divine Love coming into her as you are, you being more sensitive to such things.
And what about for those people longing for the Love and not doing their healing?
DM: That’s a separate issue. They are merely receiving and so accumulating the Love for when the do start their healing and start to grow consciously in truth. You see James, when one actively embraces what you are revealing, and all Mary and Jesus are telling you; when one consciously embraces using ones feelings to uncover the truth of oneself, and so begins ones healing process, then one is fully consciously growing in truth, which is a vastly different way of being than just doing a bit of healing and uncovering a bit of truth by default, without really knowing what you’re doing, so without your will fully engaged and focused in the healing truth-seeking process. And such people can have experiences and a small awareness that they are growing in truth, but nothing compared to what they will experience when they are doing their healing through their ongoing feeling acceptance. That is a whole different level of life James, that being what you and Marion are experiencing. And that is ‘real’ or true soul growth of truth. That is fully embracing your ascension of truth to Paradise, whereas doing a little bit of healing through self-examination or some form of therapy or spiritual work, which may even come about as a result of consciously longing for the Divine Love, is not anything like what you and Marion are doing.
Yeah I know. That’s how I thought I was growing in truth before my healing started, so I know what you’re talking about, and it sure isn’t anything like all I currently go through each day and have done these past sixteen or seventeen years - I forget how long I’ve been at it.
DM: And it is your way of life James, it’s living allowing your feelings to lead and guide you in your growth of truth, it being how one is meant to live. And it’s evolving yourself out of the evilness and anti-truth that you’re in. It’s a completely different way of life, and one that as yet hasn’t been embraced on Earth. And so because of that, so you and Marion are living - as will everyone who does their healing, even when the Divine Love is unavailable - a very different relationship with the Mother and Father, and so also with Myself, for I am able to authorise the inner changes in your personality structure of mind, will and feelings that come from your soul, so you as a whole person do change as you progress in your healing. Changing to reflect the growing truth that you are. And so when you partake of the Divine Love, inner changes do occur, more in keeping with what Jesus told James Padgett, but only and all because you are doing your healing, which means, you are striving to live true to yourself. Whereas as I said, all those people who are still receiving the Divine Love or believing they are growing in truth, and are not doing their healing, are not having the same relationship with the Mother and Father and Myself as you and Marion are, as they are still only wanting to further their rebellious mind and will, which of course they can do. So such people can currently receive the Divine Love, but it won’t affect their soul as it is with you and Marion until they do their Soul-Healing. So the Divine Love lies sort of dormant within their soul, waiting for that time. So your relationship with the Divine Love and givers of such Love, is different to those people, and that’s what I wanted you to understand James. And it’s vastly different, because you are wanting to end your evilness by becoming true to it, whereas they are still wanting to further it by living increasingly untrue to themselves. And so you can’t compare the two ways of being.
Yes, I understand.
DM: Good, and I know that you do. And so I will go now so you can get on with making dinner. And I’ll be in touch James, more when you’ve finished your healing, as then our real work together will begin. So good-day to you, your Divine and Local Universal Mistering to the needs of your mind, Spirit and Mother. And we won’t worry about names until you’ve completed your healing.
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