Hi everyone. I think that a loved one who has passed away has become one of my spirit guides. I believe he has tried to contact me on a psychic level, but my grief is getting in my way. Is anyone here able to do spirit guide readings? I wish I could confirm that I am seeing, hearing, and otherwise perceiving him correctly, but I just can't be sure without some type of external confirmation. If anyone receives a message or sign they could relay, I would gladly receive it with all due consideration - you may be helping more than you know. Thank you very much.
Hello rcdforum. Your request is not the sort of thing I usually do, however as I was reading your post I felt like asking my spirit helpers if there is anything I can pass onto you from them. I asked David who said he’d look into it for me.
David: We have located rcdforum’s ‘loved one’, and no, as yet he is not specifically one of your spirit guides rcdforum, however there is a high possibility that he will be asked to become one. How it works is like this:
Your loved one is still somewhat disorientated, however that’s not a bad thing, it just means, as it’s different for each of us spirits when we die and move into spirit, that it takes time for us to settle into our new spirit lives. Some newly arrived people (now spirits) can adjust in a flash to their new spirit life and simply get on with it exploring all the new opportunities being presented to them, and other people, such as your loved one, need more time to make such adjustments. And this longer time is because of the conflict between realising that it’s true, that you do have a whole new life ahead of you, which can for some of us be quite daunting, because we liked or loved some or all of our Earth life which we are grieving for, having to leave behind those people we love and were close to and those things we loved doing on Earth.
So it can take time to sort through all the new and often conflicting feelings in you once you die. We anticipate that your loved one will need a further four to six months for this to happen, during which time, and what has been happen with you and him, he will make further trips to visit you and indeed to establish contact with you. So he’s not actually one of your spirit guides, you have other ones who are more established in this role, but he may be asked to become another guide once he has settled more into his new life. And he may accept this role or he might find there are other things he wants to do, however even if he wants to do those other things, it doesn’t necessarily mean he will end all communication with you.
We spirits are free within certain parameters to communicate with you on Earth whenever we like. So it’s between you and he as to how much communication you will have and what sort you want to do.
You are receiving his thoughts, however as you say, your own grief and worries about whether or not you’re just making it up are getting in the way a bit. I would advise you to simply go with what you feel is right, work along those lines, and if you feel he is making contact, then stay with those feelings. What words are said don’t matter as such, it’s more the feelings you get. And it’s actually easier for us spirits in some ways to relate with you back on Earth on a feelings level rather than trying to work within your often muddled and controlling belief-restricted minds.
He wants you to know that he is well, he is doing okay as he is making the necessary adjustments into his new spirit life. There is so much he’d love to be able to tell you, and wishes you were there with him, however because of course you are not, then that too is causing him grief. So you are both feeling the loss of each other in different and yet similar ways, but time will move you through such feelings and you’ll both come to understand that life does move on and yet with that you can simply move your relationship to a new level, having it in a different way. And although the separation between Earth and spirit is great for you both, still the deeper and more personal connection can remain.
He still loves you dearly, and his death has not altered his affection for you, and he comes to be with you often, and understands your struggle as you sense and feel him with you and want to talk yet you don’t have the experience or confidence in being able to sift through that which your mind might make up and that which might be true.
Still, you have the ability to speak to and receive communication from spirits quite easily, it being actually a lot easier than you think, and so again I would emphasise trying to stay closer to your feelings when you feel him with you or when you want to talk with him, and then from those feelings move out slowly with your mind. Don’t try and do too much mental talking with him, feel-talk with him, if I can put it that way. And should this bring up a lot of deep sadness and other emotions and feelings, then it would benefit you greatly if you can just allow yourself to be free to express that pain and grief openly. So express all your bad feelings trying to bring them out rather than keeping them in or believing you should be able to deal with the pain and move on; don’t do that, and instead allow yourself to feel all the hurt and sadness, all your emptiness and feeling so alone, expressing it to him, or to God should you wish.
And don’t worry about your grief stopping or negatively influencing him in any way, we spirits are not controlled by you on Earth like some people believe we are. And in fact it works the other way, if you do willingly express all your pain to him, that will help you both as he will also be able to express his pain to you. There is also great pressure on us spirits, and particularly the newly arrived ones, to use our mind to control our emotions and feelings and to move on and not dwell on our grief of leaving behind those people we love. Which is wrong, and something we higher spirits learn as we understand how important it is for us all, we in spirit and you on Earth, to always express all we feel. And if you allow yourself to, as it will probably make you feel more pain and deeper emotional sadness, you’ll be able to feel and perceive him expressing his pain of leaving you. So you can both share on that deeper level of hurt together, which would be very good for you both. And even though you might feel the hurt will never leave you, should you wish to keep acknowledging it and bringing it out, in time it will leave you and you’ll start to feel better about it all.
So in the meantime, if you feel/think/see a picture in your mind that he for example is sitting beside you with his arm around you, then allow yourself to feel all the feelings that brings up in you rather than trying to work out in your mind should this actually be true. Just go with it all on the feelings level and leave the mind to do whatever it will.
Concerning the bigger picture for you both, you need this separation because there are other things your souls require you to do in life. I can’t say anymore than this, however one day you will see that it was a necessary part of life for you both to experience. I hope I have been of some help. David.
I have included a link to a free book of mine that discusses some of the ins and outs of talking with spirits. There is a simple exercise within it that might help you make contact with your loved one by writing his words down rather than just trying to do it in your mind. I find it helps to clarify and keep my mind out of it more when I write. And although more laborious, it still offers a way to get more used to working with spirits which can then help you do it more in your mind. Scroll down to near the bottom of the page -