Healing and our Children
Nov 13, 2017 18:15:14 GMT 10
Post by samantha9 on Nov 13, 2017 18:15:14 GMT 10
What I have found with my children is that because they are older, 18 and 23, they now have their own ways and the damage has been done. They are living fully in the negative and playing it all out in front of me, everything I have feared, felt, thought has been poured into them and they are living it in front of my very eyes, just as I did and just as my parents did and my whole lineage of family. They are the product perfectly playing out the errors of my unhealed family line and I can know my whole family group from Adam and Eve, through them as they show me all of the Rebellion and Default of my family, they are it.
Because I have found my time to heal is now and I am doing it intensively and my children see it and know the change in me, it doesn't mean they have to do it too. In fact at their ages it is to late too as it hasn't been something they grew up with from conception, it now has to be a decision that they make to heal to turn it all around, to use their Will instead of it being a natural process they have been born into so do it naturally. We have always been a very feeling family and they tell me so much of their pain but as to the intricacies of Feeling Healing and by that I mean Feeling your Feelings down to the core and bringing up all of our Childhood Repressed feelings, I cant make them do that, I cant make them do anything and I don't want to.
What I have found with my children is that I don't even have to talk about healing to them, I have done and they are interested at times but what I don't want is to push it on them in any way, I don't want to interfere with them and they might stop coming to me if they feel that I am going to force Feeling Healing on them every time they want to talk with me about their problems and pains, it could repel them so there is a very fine line and such a fragile undercurrent and line that mustn't be crossed with them, if I do cross that line with them, it is all over, I have lost them and they wont trust me to just be their for them without any other agenda to have them heal. They can feel it and they can't be pushed or its all over.
It all has to be what they want and at their pace and they are both so different. They both know that all of their pain comes from Me and their Fathers, they both have different dads. We have talked about it all so they do know it with their minds, but putting what they know into a Feeling experience is a huge leap for them and they are both scared of not loving me any more, they don't want to blame me, they are not ready for that yet although Faye has begun to shout at me and raise her voice in anger at me when she is deep in her pain and Alex has shown me so much truth in the way he has handled his Father and that side of the family, it was so hard for him. He was being controlled by them so much that he felt he had to end it with them and he told his dad that he no longer wanted to see him or his Nan, he was so honest with them and told them exactly why, that they controlled him, they depressed him, they didn't want him to live his own life and so much more and I thought he was so brave and honest with them and it was just what I wanted to do with my dad and I did, Alex showed me how to do it and how free he felt after without them in his life. They have both lost their dads and I am all they have left but all they need is one person, whoever that is and for them it is me, to be there for them, to be on their side.
What I am learning with my children is that all I have to do is to be someone they can trust, I don't even have to speak about Feeling Healing with them, infact it is probably better not to as then it makes what I do with them a PROCESS, like therapy. It all has to be led by them, when they want me, when they want to talk and when they don't. I have to respect them completely, they don't have to tell me anything if they don't want to but by not pushing them to tell me what's wrong I have found they come and find me.
Faye had been upstairs in her room for a long time the other day and I could feel something was wrong and it would have been easy to knock on her door and ask her what's wrong but even that, which most people would say was a caring thing to do, for me, would be interfering by me instigating the conversation and would have felt wrong of me. I waited for her to come to me and she came down stairs and into the kitchen and all I had to do was open my arms to her and she came to me and began crying and I felt her whole body sobbing as she let it all out and we didn't move from the kitchen. We didn't speak but she just needed to cry and when she was ready to speak about it she would do that, it all being how she wants to do it all I have to do is be open to her and not drive it or force it and let her be in control of her own feelings.
What I have found and am constantly finding out more is that I don't have to do anything to help my children to heal, I do what I do for me and my healing but for them, they have to lead it all and all I have to do is be there, open to them whenever they want me and I don't even have to speak just let them talk as and when they want to. I have found that with Faye, if I break into her pain by speaking it can all end, she just wants me to listen to her, with my Son he likes me to help him more to bring it all out. It is so different with both of them and I have had to learn that and it is such a fragile and delicate thing, one word and it could all be over so I have to be guided by them and what it is they want from me and to be on their side fully.
Its going to be a slow ongoing process for us all, my children are doing it, healing, but they don't even realise it because it is all evolving through our feelings all so naturally and going with them. The words of Healing don't even have to be mentioned to them because all they are doing, and so naturally, is feeling and as a parent I can allow this and encourage it or I can just as quickly shut it down in them and shutting it down is what I used to do and that is called 'normal and even good parenting', to tell them it will all be ok, don't worry, don't cry, oh don't be silly, you're fine, have some sweets or cake, and all the other things I used to say to them when they were younger, all teaching them to deny themselves and how they feel, God it makes me twist to think of what I said to them and how that has damaged them and now it has all changed and they have told me about the massive U turn I have made in their lives, they have asked me where do they stand, they are confused because as I heal I am changing and they are seeing it, its all different so what do they do stick or twist!!!!!!! I have had to apologise for it all, I have done it all wrong, I have ruined their lives and all I can do is tell them how sorry and wrong I have been as a Parent, so wrong and within this U Turn is a HUGE messy stage as we all back up on each other and just stop what we are doing because we are going the wrong way and as this is happening in my little family of three, I can see how it will all be the same in the world and it is just starting to slow down and back up as the truth is revealed and as the U Turn changes, the back up is going to get very messy, just like it is in my little family, its no different, we have been living one way thinking it is the right way, even though it hurts! then a few begin to heal and as more join, the old way grinds to a sloooow halt and the mess I am going through, the world will also have to go through. All of us being like my daughter and my son, men and women grinding to a halt and feeling confused, angry and like we have been led astray by our parents as we are now being told we are going the wrong way, very sorry, but you might like to turn around, its going to take a of of Humility and a lot of mess and within that MESS, is our healing. Shit, I have really gone astray but its all relevant.
I love the feeling of just being open emotionally to my children, all the pressure has come off for me feeling I have to help them. They feel the openness and will tell me what they want to with no pressure to have too and not feeling like they cant be sad or angry. I allow them to express all they want to and if they don't want to they don't have to, they lead the way with their feelings and I am open to them if they want me. We are all still in the back up of the U Turn in our family, in the messy part and sometimes it is awful, painful, confusing and all the other words I could use and sometimes it is wonderful as feelings are expressed and leave them bit by bit but the great thing is its happening, in its slow, confusing, kicking and screaming,up and down and messy way its happening and as its happening for us in our family then it can happen in the world, I can see it.
Because I have found my time to heal is now and I am doing it intensively and my children see it and know the change in me, it doesn't mean they have to do it too. In fact at their ages it is to late too as it hasn't been something they grew up with from conception, it now has to be a decision that they make to heal to turn it all around, to use their Will instead of it being a natural process they have been born into so do it naturally. We have always been a very feeling family and they tell me so much of their pain but as to the intricacies of Feeling Healing and by that I mean Feeling your Feelings down to the core and bringing up all of our Childhood Repressed feelings, I cant make them do that, I cant make them do anything and I don't want to.
What I have found with my children is that I don't even have to talk about healing to them, I have done and they are interested at times but what I don't want is to push it on them in any way, I don't want to interfere with them and they might stop coming to me if they feel that I am going to force Feeling Healing on them every time they want to talk with me about their problems and pains, it could repel them so there is a very fine line and such a fragile undercurrent and line that mustn't be crossed with them, if I do cross that line with them, it is all over, I have lost them and they wont trust me to just be their for them without any other agenda to have them heal. They can feel it and they can't be pushed or its all over.
It all has to be what they want and at their pace and they are both so different. They both know that all of their pain comes from Me and their Fathers, they both have different dads. We have talked about it all so they do know it with their minds, but putting what they know into a Feeling experience is a huge leap for them and they are both scared of not loving me any more, they don't want to blame me, they are not ready for that yet although Faye has begun to shout at me and raise her voice in anger at me when she is deep in her pain and Alex has shown me so much truth in the way he has handled his Father and that side of the family, it was so hard for him. He was being controlled by them so much that he felt he had to end it with them and he told his dad that he no longer wanted to see him or his Nan, he was so honest with them and told them exactly why, that they controlled him, they depressed him, they didn't want him to live his own life and so much more and I thought he was so brave and honest with them and it was just what I wanted to do with my dad and I did, Alex showed me how to do it and how free he felt after without them in his life. They have both lost their dads and I am all they have left but all they need is one person, whoever that is and for them it is me, to be there for them, to be on their side.
What I am learning with my children is that all I have to do is to be someone they can trust, I don't even have to speak about Feeling Healing with them, infact it is probably better not to as then it makes what I do with them a PROCESS, like therapy. It all has to be led by them, when they want me, when they want to talk and when they don't. I have to respect them completely, they don't have to tell me anything if they don't want to but by not pushing them to tell me what's wrong I have found they come and find me.
Faye had been upstairs in her room for a long time the other day and I could feel something was wrong and it would have been easy to knock on her door and ask her what's wrong but even that, which most people would say was a caring thing to do, for me, would be interfering by me instigating the conversation and would have felt wrong of me. I waited for her to come to me and she came down stairs and into the kitchen and all I had to do was open my arms to her and she came to me and began crying and I felt her whole body sobbing as she let it all out and we didn't move from the kitchen. We didn't speak but she just needed to cry and when she was ready to speak about it she would do that, it all being how she wants to do it all I have to do is be open to her and not drive it or force it and let her be in control of her own feelings.
What I have found and am constantly finding out more is that I don't have to do anything to help my children to heal, I do what I do for me and my healing but for them, they have to lead it all and all I have to do is be there, open to them whenever they want me and I don't even have to speak just let them talk as and when they want to. I have found that with Faye, if I break into her pain by speaking it can all end, she just wants me to listen to her, with my Son he likes me to help him more to bring it all out. It is so different with both of them and I have had to learn that and it is such a fragile and delicate thing, one word and it could all be over so I have to be guided by them and what it is they want from me and to be on their side fully.
Its going to be a slow ongoing process for us all, my children are doing it, healing, but they don't even realise it because it is all evolving through our feelings all so naturally and going with them. The words of Healing don't even have to be mentioned to them because all they are doing, and so naturally, is feeling and as a parent I can allow this and encourage it or I can just as quickly shut it down in them and shutting it down is what I used to do and that is called 'normal and even good parenting', to tell them it will all be ok, don't worry, don't cry, oh don't be silly, you're fine, have some sweets or cake, and all the other things I used to say to them when they were younger, all teaching them to deny themselves and how they feel, God it makes me twist to think of what I said to them and how that has damaged them and now it has all changed and they have told me about the massive U turn I have made in their lives, they have asked me where do they stand, they are confused because as I heal I am changing and they are seeing it, its all different so what do they do stick or twist!!!!!!! I have had to apologise for it all, I have done it all wrong, I have ruined their lives and all I can do is tell them how sorry and wrong I have been as a Parent, so wrong and within this U Turn is a HUGE messy stage as we all back up on each other and just stop what we are doing because we are going the wrong way and as this is happening in my little family of three, I can see how it will all be the same in the world and it is just starting to slow down and back up as the truth is revealed and as the U Turn changes, the back up is going to get very messy, just like it is in my little family, its no different, we have been living one way thinking it is the right way, even though it hurts! then a few begin to heal and as more join, the old way grinds to a sloooow halt and the mess I am going through, the world will also have to go through. All of us being like my daughter and my son, men and women grinding to a halt and feeling confused, angry and like we have been led astray by our parents as we are now being told we are going the wrong way, very sorry, but you might like to turn around, its going to take a of of Humility and a lot of mess and within that MESS, is our healing. Shit, I have really gone astray but its all relevant.
I love the feeling of just being open emotionally to my children, all the pressure has come off for me feeling I have to help them. They feel the openness and will tell me what they want to with no pressure to have too and not feeling like they cant be sad or angry. I allow them to express all they want to and if they don't want to they don't have to, they lead the way with their feelings and I am open to them if they want me. We are all still in the back up of the U Turn in our family, in the messy part and sometimes it is awful, painful, confusing and all the other words I could use and sometimes it is wonderful as feelings are expressed and leave them bit by bit but the great thing is its happening, in its slow, confusing, kicking and screaming,up and down and messy way its happening and as its happening for us in our family then it can happen in the world, I can see it.
