Am I living God’s will?
Dec 29, 2015 22:14:15 GMT 10
Post by James on Dec 29, 2015 22:14:15 GMT 10
Am I living God’s will?
Although we’re living against the Truth and Love and so against the Mother and Father, and because of this it is generally said we’re living untrue to our soul and so against God’s will, increasingly I’m feeling how can we live any other way than always doing what God wants us to do. Do we really have that much free will - total free will as some people claim?
I can see how the Evil Ones turned against Mary and Jesus and the Mother and Father going off doing what they thought was best, but still, why did they rebel - who made them do that, what was going on within them that caused them to buck the system?
And then we’re incarnated into an untrue negative system and made to join it, so really having no will of our own to choose to follow our parents or not, that choice not coming to us until we’re adults and it all being too late by then - that is until we decide to do our healing. But still, who’s behind it all anyway?
So is it that on a soul level of course we’re always doing what God wants. The Mother and Father want us to be evil so we are, and if They didn’t want us to be, so we’d not be, They are in control of everything. And then on the more outer levels of our personality expression we seem to have more say in the immediate affairs of our life, seeming to have the freedom of getting something to drink when we want it, saying whatever we feel like saying, although all we say and do is still highly conditioned by our negative beliefs and behaviours. But still within our unloving state, we have, so it would appear on certain levels, the freedom of choice.
In keeping with yesterdays post I feel increasingly like I have no direct will of my own. It’s a strange lot of feelings; yet having just said that, I have the freedom to keep choosing to honour my feelings and express them, yet I have no control over those feelings, I can’t make the feelings I want come up, good or bad ones. And it seems like I have a say in the normal goings on in my life, yet do I really, when on a deeper level I feel everything I do and say is all governed and so controlled and determined by my soul - by the Mother and Father. They want me to have a certain life and for it to go a certain way, and that happens irrespective of the choices I make, even somehow ensuring I make the choices I make giving me the illusion that I’ve got some say in my life.
So again I am back to waiting for God to say that’s enough of your negative state, you’ve seen all We want you to see, so we will fully transform your soul into being true and all-loving. And yet whilst I’m waiting I know I have more work to do on myself, so I keep applying myself to expressing my feelings and longing for their truth - which makes me feel like I do have a say and will in it. But then again I feel I can’t do anything else, I can’t go back to how I was pre-healing, I can’t stop expressing myself even though I’m still retarded in it in many areas, so in this respect I have no say, I have to keep going.
And what makes me keep going anyway? My soul is just ‘unfolding’ me in Creation, I can feel or sense it coming into being the more of me it/I express, the more experiences I have, and especially having them now being more aware of myself and all I think and feel.
And so I can’t just stop my soul from doing what it does - from ‘doing’ me. I can’t put myself on hold, I can’t say I want to sit on the sidelines for a while now whilst I gather myself together considering all the horrendous stuff I’ve just been through. My soul relentlessly surges on, I can hardly keep up, whizzing from one feeling to the next. Lately with Marion no sooner have we spoken about one bad feeling and I’m onto the next without even time to stop and think about what it was we were talking about. It all seems increasingly like life is a blur of feelings zooming past, yet I’m connected to them more, and so I’m zooming along with hardly a moments pause for the truth. And yet this is how it’s meant to be, so I am sensing more, unlike my ponderous way before when I thought I had to stop and analyse each part as it happened making sure I understood it before I could go on.
So am I living God’s will all the time and also living my own will at the same time? Is there such a thing as my living my will and not living God’s will? It is right that I am trying to stop living my will so I can live God’s will, with my will being wrong because I’m living untrue to myself? And is it then right that if I managed to heal myself I would be living true to my will and so also true to the God’s will? Or, am I just always living God’s will, whether I’m wrong or right, and this business of will separation is a lot of nonsense?
I can’t help feeling the Mother and Father want me to be wrong so I can experience all I am within my wrongness. So by being wrong I am doing what They want even though it’s anti the whole of Their Creation. And as I am now doing my healing, so I feel They are pleased that I am doing it - striving to become true, as it’s now what They want me to do. But then I question it all by feeling: as if I could resist Their wishes, as if I could not be exactly how I am now. So They must have then been happen with me whilst I was living evilly, just as They are now happy whilst I’m trying to live true, just as supposedly They will be happy when I’m true and healed. And that God was never unhappy and angry with me because I went off on my own and rebelled and sinned and lived in iniquity and was evil because I turned by back on Them rejecting Their love - as if I could have just gone off and lived with Satan and God could get stuffed and had so further say in my life. So I’ve always been doing what They want, just as I’ve always been doing what I wanted. Only my life led me to realise that I wasn’t actually happy with so many of things I was doing, and as that wasn’t good, so I wanted to change, starting my healing. So now I’m still doing what I want, and I’m still unhappy with all the yuk bits I’m finding out I am, and presumably I’m still doing what God wants. And They say it is what They want.
So maybe the whole thing about doing my will and is it God’s will or not is all a ploy by the Evil Ones to keep us separated, to keep us in the meme of there being a right and wrong, a good and bad, and if you’re doing this you’re good because supposedly you’re doing God’s will, and if you’re doing that you’re bad because you’re not going God’s will, selfishly doing your own will, it all being said by everyone else other than God. And if we give up this way of thinking then we have to conclude God is making us be evil, which then leads us to ask - why? Why would a loving God subject us to such unlovingness? And if we then accept that even if we don’t know why, still that’s the truth of it, so then that means we’ve got to stop and reassess everything, particularly all the religious ways we see things. Which means facing our feelings and going against all we’ve been told, which means healing ourselves by rejecting our rebelliousness.
So maybe I’ve always being doing God’s will - how could I have done anything but it! And living life the right way is not about whether I’m doing it or not. So then to get on with concentrating more on my feelings knowing that’s what God wants me to do now, as it’s what I too want to do, and that’s all I need concern myself about.
Sam and Wes, do you have any thoughts or feelings about living God's will and what it means to you? Nols, do you, and would you like to post what you think and feel?
Although we’re living against the Truth and Love and so against the Mother and Father, and because of this it is generally said we’re living untrue to our soul and so against God’s will, increasingly I’m feeling how can we live any other way than always doing what God wants us to do. Do we really have that much free will - total free will as some people claim?
I can see how the Evil Ones turned against Mary and Jesus and the Mother and Father going off doing what they thought was best, but still, why did they rebel - who made them do that, what was going on within them that caused them to buck the system?
And then we’re incarnated into an untrue negative system and made to join it, so really having no will of our own to choose to follow our parents or not, that choice not coming to us until we’re adults and it all being too late by then - that is until we decide to do our healing. But still, who’s behind it all anyway?
So is it that on a soul level of course we’re always doing what God wants. The Mother and Father want us to be evil so we are, and if They didn’t want us to be, so we’d not be, They are in control of everything. And then on the more outer levels of our personality expression we seem to have more say in the immediate affairs of our life, seeming to have the freedom of getting something to drink when we want it, saying whatever we feel like saying, although all we say and do is still highly conditioned by our negative beliefs and behaviours. But still within our unloving state, we have, so it would appear on certain levels, the freedom of choice.
In keeping with yesterdays post I feel increasingly like I have no direct will of my own. It’s a strange lot of feelings; yet having just said that, I have the freedom to keep choosing to honour my feelings and express them, yet I have no control over those feelings, I can’t make the feelings I want come up, good or bad ones. And it seems like I have a say in the normal goings on in my life, yet do I really, when on a deeper level I feel everything I do and say is all governed and so controlled and determined by my soul - by the Mother and Father. They want me to have a certain life and for it to go a certain way, and that happens irrespective of the choices I make, even somehow ensuring I make the choices I make giving me the illusion that I’ve got some say in my life.
So again I am back to waiting for God to say that’s enough of your negative state, you’ve seen all We want you to see, so we will fully transform your soul into being true and all-loving. And yet whilst I’m waiting I know I have more work to do on myself, so I keep applying myself to expressing my feelings and longing for their truth - which makes me feel like I do have a say and will in it. But then again I feel I can’t do anything else, I can’t go back to how I was pre-healing, I can’t stop expressing myself even though I’m still retarded in it in many areas, so in this respect I have no say, I have to keep going.
And what makes me keep going anyway? My soul is just ‘unfolding’ me in Creation, I can feel or sense it coming into being the more of me it/I express, the more experiences I have, and especially having them now being more aware of myself and all I think and feel.
And so I can’t just stop my soul from doing what it does - from ‘doing’ me. I can’t put myself on hold, I can’t say I want to sit on the sidelines for a while now whilst I gather myself together considering all the horrendous stuff I’ve just been through. My soul relentlessly surges on, I can hardly keep up, whizzing from one feeling to the next. Lately with Marion no sooner have we spoken about one bad feeling and I’m onto the next without even time to stop and think about what it was we were talking about. It all seems increasingly like life is a blur of feelings zooming past, yet I’m connected to them more, and so I’m zooming along with hardly a moments pause for the truth. And yet this is how it’s meant to be, so I am sensing more, unlike my ponderous way before when I thought I had to stop and analyse each part as it happened making sure I understood it before I could go on.
So am I living God’s will all the time and also living my own will at the same time? Is there such a thing as my living my will and not living God’s will? It is right that I am trying to stop living my will so I can live God’s will, with my will being wrong because I’m living untrue to myself? And is it then right that if I managed to heal myself I would be living true to my will and so also true to the God’s will? Or, am I just always living God’s will, whether I’m wrong or right, and this business of will separation is a lot of nonsense?
I can’t help feeling the Mother and Father want me to be wrong so I can experience all I am within my wrongness. So by being wrong I am doing what They want even though it’s anti the whole of Their Creation. And as I am now doing my healing, so I feel They are pleased that I am doing it - striving to become true, as it’s now what They want me to do. But then I question it all by feeling: as if I could resist Their wishes, as if I could not be exactly how I am now. So They must have then been happen with me whilst I was living evilly, just as They are now happy whilst I’m trying to live true, just as supposedly They will be happy when I’m true and healed. And that God was never unhappy and angry with me because I went off on my own and rebelled and sinned and lived in iniquity and was evil because I turned by back on Them rejecting Their love - as if I could have just gone off and lived with Satan and God could get stuffed and had so further say in my life. So I’ve always been doing what They want, just as I’ve always been doing what I wanted. Only my life led me to realise that I wasn’t actually happy with so many of things I was doing, and as that wasn’t good, so I wanted to change, starting my healing. So now I’m still doing what I want, and I’m still unhappy with all the yuk bits I’m finding out I am, and presumably I’m still doing what God wants. And They say it is what They want.
So maybe the whole thing about doing my will and is it God’s will or not is all a ploy by the Evil Ones to keep us separated, to keep us in the meme of there being a right and wrong, a good and bad, and if you’re doing this you’re good because supposedly you’re doing God’s will, and if you’re doing that you’re bad because you’re not going God’s will, selfishly doing your own will, it all being said by everyone else other than God. And if we give up this way of thinking then we have to conclude God is making us be evil, which then leads us to ask - why? Why would a loving God subject us to such unlovingness? And if we then accept that even if we don’t know why, still that’s the truth of it, so then that means we’ve got to stop and reassess everything, particularly all the religious ways we see things. Which means facing our feelings and going against all we’ve been told, which means healing ourselves by rejecting our rebelliousness.
So maybe I’ve always being doing God’s will - how could I have done anything but it! And living life the right way is not about whether I’m doing it or not. So then to get on with concentrating more on my feelings knowing that’s what God wants me to do now, as it’s what I too want to do, and that’s all I need concern myself about.
Sam and Wes, do you have any thoughts or feelings about living God's will and what it means to you? Nols, do you, and would you like to post what you think and feel?
